Tree Trunks quotes from Adventure Time

Finn

Tree Trunks, is there anyone you can think of who might want to crunk you up?

Tree Trunks

O-oh no, Finn. I take great care to assure that-that I'm loved by even the most heinous cretins and—

Jake

Hey, guys! I found something! Look! [Finn and Tree Trunks join Jake near the hole]

Tree Trunks

Ugh!

Oh, heheh, hey, Finn! Heheh...

Finn

Oh, hey, Raggedy Princess. Have you seen anything fishy going on?

Um, no, heheh. I've been kinda down in this hole for a long time. [laughs nervously] I got knocked down here by some ne'er-do-wells. It was terrible! I was so scared.

Tree Trunks

Ne'er-do-wells?! They stole my apples! [yells] I'm gonna sass those boys up nasty!

Finn

[laughs] Awesome. Where do we find these guys?

Jake

Oh... the Candy Tavern, man. I used to hang out there back when I used to snatch old ladies' purses. [Finn "boops"] Don't worry, I stopped doing that a long time ago. I didn't know it was wrong. [Finn "pings"]

Tree Trunks

Okay, you two, let's get going.

Tree Trunks

[nudges Shelby on top of her head] Shelby? Shelby, wake up.

W-where am I? Tree Trunks, what's going on?

Tree Trunks

Uh, you've been snoozing on my dome. I just woke up in this room with these fellas: Nectar, Ice Cream, and one of the Lemoncarbs.

Lemongrab

Awake! Avast! Hold tight your buns, if buns you do hold dear, for time has come to wake and run AND NOT GIVE WAY TO FEAR!!!

Tree Trunks

What are those awful words?!

Lemongrab

I am reading the wall. They are wall words.

Tree Trunks

[reading] "Beyond this room are a thousand rooms, outside of them still more."

"Behind each door on every floor, danger, danger evermore!"

NEPTR

"Stranger, hark! The traps galore may kill you whilst you do explore to free yourself..." [Ice King stops scribbling on his book, looks back at the others]

Ice King

Huh? Oh! Now where were we? "To free yourself from this tomb and nevermore re-enter, find the room amidst the rooms that lies exactly center"? [glowing orange lines form a map on the walls]

It's a map!

Lemongrab

[walks to a color-coordinated door] This door lead to the center exit!

NEPTR

The door is secured with an esoteric encryption system.

Ice King

[picks up Tree Trunks] Well, that's okay 'cause you can "hack the mainframe" or whatever, right, BMO?

NEPTR

I'm not BMO. I'm your son, NEPTR. I-I throw pies.

Ice King

[beat, drops Tree Trunks] Ahhhs!! I grabbed the wrong robot! Dirt! Nuts! Face!!

Uhh, what is going on here, Ice King?

Tree Trunks

Yes. I am getting a weird feeling in my stomach, and I think it's 'cause of you, Mr. Wizard. You'd better fess up to whatever you're doing. I got no time for nobody dancin' around and actin' a fool at my expense. I'm Tree Trunks, and people know I'm kind and honest. That's why people like me. [Ice King scribbles his book]

Ice King

Huh? Wha-what? What was she saying?

Tree Trunks

So stop sellin' fib bibs and give it straight.

Ice King

Oh!! All right! I knocked y'all out and brought you here! [puts book in his beard] I'm sorry, but I had to do it! Each of you possess the exact qualities to pass the various tests of this dungeon. Tree Trunks, with your baking skills... Lemongrab, with your lemony, juicy...

Lemongrab

Essence.

Ice King

Yeah... Shelby, who should have been the bait for the fish.

Yeah, but no thanks.

Ice King

And BMO, who should have been here instead of this weird piece of junk that I don't remember nothin' about. [NEPTR strolls to the side] Argh!! I failed!

NEPTR

Father, look at me! [he throws a baked pie at the door, it short-circuits and recoils itself; Ice King gasps] Are you happy with me now, Papi?

Ice King

[pants] Yes! Yes! [picks up and hugs NEPTR] Oh, my son! The grand prize of me loins!

[sees Tree Trunks in bed] Hey, where'd you go?

Tree Trunks

I-I think I was visited by aliens again. Uh, every few years, they stop by and show me my hybrid children.

[chuckles] What?

Tree Trunks

Don't be jealous of my alien consorts, Mr. Pig. I love you the most.

Haha... all right, sweetie. Thank you. [they both kiss, goes to pull lamp cord] You're gonna come with me to Princess Bubblegum's firework show tomorrow?

Tree Trunks

No, she whizzed on our wedding. I'm sorry, but she's a fat fish in the sand.

I want to see free fireworks, though, and I want you to come with me.

Tree Trunks

Ah, all right. [spanks Mr. Pig squealing]

Bubblegum

I'm really sorry, Tree Trunks. I never meant to hurt anybody with my space program. It was supposed to seed new Candy Kingdoms on uninhabited planets, in case Ooo goes straight-up dong-bongles. 'Cause... like, confidentially, there's a lot of ways that could happen. And when it does, maybe I won't look so crazy after all, you know? [Tree Trunks looks up at the alien spheres in the sky]

Tree Trunks

I can help you find a space for your goo. [Bubblegum turns to Tree Trunks]

Bubblegum

You would do that?

Tree Trunks

You and I will never be friends, but we can respect each other as mothers and as fellow believers in the infinite promise of the cosmos above.

Bubblegum

..Sure.