[Jake and Rainacorn are seen chasing each other in front of the candy kingdom;Finn and Princess Bubblegum are seen in a graveyard]
Hey, Princess Bubblegum, when we bring the dead back to life, will they be filled with worms?
No. If my decorpsinator serum works, then all the dead Candy People will look as young and healthy as you do.
[chest-pounding] Aaahh-AAAHH-AAAHHHH!!
Pick up that platter, tough guy. [Finn opens platter with a dead mouldy Candy Person]
[giggles] We used to date. [injects serum into Cream Puff]
Something's happening! Come on... come on!
[the green-glowing Mr. Cream Puff stands up and start garbling and oozing incoherently]
[Cream Puff then oozes and flies away into a gigantic test beaker, mixing the serum, breaks and spraying its contents all over the graveyard. More dead Candy People rise from their graves]
Hey, look! The decorpsinator serum is working.
No! This is wrong! They're not coming back to life, they're still dead! My decorpsinator serum — it's incomplete!!
ZZombie
Rah! Must eat sugar! Rugh—!
[pushes it down] You're grounded, mister.
Oh, this is really bad. They're going to be attracted to the Candy Kingdom!
Because the Candy People are made of sugar, ya ding-dong!
ZZombie
[gets on Bubblegum's lap] Gimme some sugar, baby...
Chew on THIS!! [kicks it]
Hee... Good one, Finn. Quickly! To the Kingdom!
[kicks another] Get a life!!
I dare you... to tell me the truth about what's goin' on in your mind. What were you and Bubblegum talkin' about when you were alone together?
Um, uhh... The truth is... uhh... [visualizes Bubblegum behind Jake]
"You promised you wouldn't frickin' tell ANYONE!! Aw, you're so cute, Finn."
Ahhh... The truth is... that I'd rather play dodge socks! [throws sock at Jake's face]
I'm not playing dodge socks until you stop dodging my questions! Hey... [sniffs sock] Old Mr. Cream Puff? Isn't he dead?
Uh, give me my sock back! Dodge socks was a bad idea!
Whoa! Look, dude, just tell me what's up, because you are crazier than a cannibal tonight.
LSLSP's Dad
Daughter! Have you brought smooth people into our domain?!
I had to, Dad. I'm trying to help them! SO DON'T LUMPING YELL AT ME!!
LSLSP's Mom
WHAT DID YOU SAY?! What did you just say?!!
I SAID LUMP OFF, MOM!! GJABLAHGARIHAGLRRR!!!
[LSP huffs and puffs, Finn goes by her]
Oh, yeah. I need to borrow the car.
LSLSP's Dad
You had made your mother cry for the last time, Daughter! You are hereby banned from using the royal car! [slam!]
Shucks! I lumping hate them!
[fully lumpy] Oh yah! Being lumpy is the best!
Hey! Stop talkin to yourself, dum guy. Take your bawl and get outta here.
Fine. I don't want you to havvit anyways.
So I can't havvit now, eh?
You wannit that bad!? Go get it, then!
What?! Who dares enter the Ice Kingdom?!
You know why I'm here?! Do you know what ICE KING means!?!
Yeah, I know what Ice King means. A big NERD.
It means I'm king of ice! This is my domain, and you're violating ice world law — trespassing!
Come on, brother, we're just tryin' to beat the heat.
Yeah, there's a big sleeping lava man in our front yard, and he is so hot...
[hits Finn's arm suggestively] Mmm-hmm.
No, no, wait, I take that back. I-I mean, not like sexy hot...
No — no, you do mean sexy hot.
I DON'T CARE!! This is my kingdom! You guys can't just scoot about on my land, willy-nilly, I've got rules here!
[sigh] Why don't you just try being cool?
WHAT!?! I am the king! I am the king of- of c-cool— [rambling] THAT'S IT!!!
Nice try, boy! Princesses, do you see? Did you see Finn fail?!
Don't worry, Finn. I'll get us out... with Key Hand! [morphs hand into key]
Oh no, you won't! [zaps into the cage with everyone out of the way, onto Jake inside a block of ice]
ICE KING!! YOU HAD BETTER EITHER SET US FREE, OR COME IN HERE AND FIGHT ME!! COS OTHERWISE.. I'M GONNA FLIP OUUT!!! [wailing at him through bars]
Ooh, are you trying to hit me? Well, excuse me, because I have to go potty in the bathroom.
Jake, I just realized that Tree Trunks is old and bonkers. We can't take her through that evil dark forest!
Ahh, she'll be fine, everything's fine.
Are you sure? Cos she has ZERO adventurer training.
Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah, well it's fine! She'll be fine! Re-re-it's fine, it's fine, it's fine!
[laughs] Maybe it is fine.
EWEvil Wizard
Now, as one last LAST trial; SLAY THIS ANT!
EWEvil Wizard
No! But it's... not good, either. It's neutral. Will you slay it?
EWEvil Wizard
If you want the hero's Enchiridion, then slay this unaligned ant!
EWEvil Wizard
Wuh-oh... [Finn kicks the wizard to smoke]
KKeeper
[enters the room] Congratulations, Finn the Human. Now you have truly reached—
NEVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! [punches Keeper in the stomach]
Oh no! Mr. Keeper, I'm sorry. Wha- Why are you wearing that little devil costume?
KKeeper
These are my pajamas... I was getting weady for bed...
[synthesized singing] Baby
You want your little baby socks
For your little baby feet~
You want to poop your pants all day long
Well, baby behave!
Hey, how can you sing like that, dude?
Remember when I swallowed that little computer?
Finn, I know you don't want to hear this, but I think we should cut our losses and bring this fella back to where we found him.
We can't just abandon him! Look at him, Jake! He needs us now more than ever! We just need to take better care of you from now on, right, little guy?
[the Jiggler's pressure builds up and explodes all of its magenta juices in front of Finn and Jake]
[the Jiggler's body stretches in every direction and drapes the inside of the Tree Fort like taffy]
Maybe we can scrape him up, and... ugh... [the Jiggler's upside-down head stretches down below]
[gasps] Oh, holy moly! Don't worry, Jiggler! We'll fix you!
[he whistles holding the Jiggler's head, but only makes raspberry noises]
Let's gather him up, Jake! He's all over the place! Even between the floorboards!
I wonder... where's his heinie? [sees lower torso on record player] Found it! C'mere, you! Hey! Ugh!
Come on! Let's put him back together!
Squeeze real hard. He's slipping!
[they both squeeze the Jiggler as hard as they could, and press it back into an indistinguishably disgusting mass]
Well, at least he's all in one piece. [SPLAT!!] Sheesh... You think he's... dead?
No way! I won't let you die, guy! Not this time!
I bet you wish you were my butt.
I bet you wish YOU were my butt, because then the Princess, y'know... No, wait... I bet you wish YOU were the Ice King and the Princess was my butt!
Hm... OH!! I bet you wish Bubblegum would KISS you too! Like the Ice King and my butt!
