Ice King quotes from Adventure Time

Ice King

Oh... Now I get what you guys are trying to tell me! Marriage is a thing that allows me to capture a princess forever and let her live inside of me! [cries ecstatically] Marriage is the most beautiful thing in the world...

Ice King

[to Princess Bubblegum] I'm sorry, Princess. I love you and I've decided to let you go free. [removes ice cuffs from PB's wrists] Go free! [drops her into Lich's well] Oops, I've got the dropsies.

Ice King

You know... maybe we could all learn a thing or two from those sandwiches.

Ice King

You are nasty, Gunter! You a got nasty booty mister! Nasty! Aw, don't be sad Stinky. Come with Daddy and I'll make it all better.

Ice King

G'bye Gunter! Sorry sweetie, but I'm never gonna get any princesses if you're stinkin' up the place!

Ice King

What do you think, Finn? Can we pull back the layer of static and reach into the source of all being? Behind this curtain of patterns, this random pattern generator... so clever, right here in every home, watching us from a one-sided mirror.

Ice King

Whoops! Heh, just wizard-talkin' to myself.

Ice King

Ahhh, sweetie, this is bliss. Feels so math to finally be normal. Hah, not like those two freaks. [points to Finn and Jake sticking their thumbs in a snowman] What are they doin' over there? Anyway, I— Ohh, who's that?

Ice King

Oh. Oh my.

Ice King

You blew it, man!

Ice King

[points accusingly at Abracadaniel] This wizard donk is trying to jack my treehouse styles just 'cause he beat me that one time at Wizard Battle, and if he takes one step closer, I'll bust him up one real good!

Ice King

What?! Who dares enter the Ice Kingdom?!

Finn

Aw... Ice King's here...

Ice King

You know why I'm here?! Do you know what ICE KING means!?!

Jake

Yeah, I know what Ice King means. A big NERD.

Finn

Oh-ho-ho! Holy cow!

Ice King

It means I'm king of ice! This is my domain, and you're violating ice world law — trespassing!

Jake

Come on, brother, we're just tryin' to beat the heat.

Finn

Yeah, there's a big sleeping lava man in our front yard, and he is so hot...

Jake

[hits Finn's arm suggestively] Mmm-hmm.

Finn

No, no, wait, I take that back. I-I mean, not like sexy hot...

Jake

No — no, you do mean sexy hot.

Finn

No! I mean—

Ice King

I DON'T CARE!! This is my kingdom! You guys can't just scoot about on my land, willy-nilly, I've got rules here!

Finn

[sigh] Why don't you just try being cool?

Ice King

WHAT!?! I am the king! I am the king of- of c-cool— [rambling] THAT'S IT!!!

Ice King

Nice try, boy! Princesses, do you see? Did you see Finn fail?!

Jake

Don't worry, Finn. I'll get us out... with Key Hand! [morphs hand into key]

Ice King

Oh no, you won't! [zaps into the cage with everyone out of the way, onto Jake inside a block of ice]

Finn

JAKE!!

Ice King

Eat it.

Jake

I'm... I'm okay...

Finn

ICE KING!! YOU HAD BETTER EITHER SET US FREE, OR COME IN HERE AND FIGHT ME!! COS OTHERWISE.. I'M GONNA FLIP OUUT!!! [wailing at him through bars]

Ice King

Ooh, are you trying to hit me? Well, excuse me, because I have to go potty in the bathroom.

Finn

RRRR-ICE KING!!!!

Ice King

No more... st-stealing princesses? Wow...

WHAT!!?

Ice King

I didn't realise I'd have to.. give up... stealing the ladies.

Jake

But you said you were fine with it!

Ice King

I know what I said! But you know, sometimes you say things and then you don't really mean them?

Jake

WHA— Are you serious!?

Ice King

So, what am I being charged with?

Finn

Um...

Jake

Five counts of jerk-a-tearing! Hah!

Finn

Yeah. What does it matter?

Ice King

DAHH!!! Of course it matters!! The way it works is — first, I transgress your meaningless rules, and then you maliciously persecute me!

Finn

That makes sense. You do bad things, I punish you.

Ice King

FOOL!! You have disrupted that order! For — are you ready for this? I have committed no RECENT CRIME!!

Finn

Really? Um...

Ice King

[laughing] I'm rocking your worldview!

Ice King

So let me get this straight... You're hitting on me.

Bubblegum

NO!!

Lady Rainicorn

Usgisine. Dangsin-eun uli gongjunim-egeo malhal jagyeogdo eobsneun nom-iya. (Verily, you are a creature unworthy even of my lady's disdain.)

Ice King

I think I heard the word "virile" in there. Oh, she's definitely hitting on me.

No! / Maldoandwae! (No way!)

Ice King

BEGONE, YOU BIDDIES!!!

Ice king

Gentlemen, I will see you later[leaves]

Finn

Heeeeya[kicks Ik]

Ice King

Counter-maid, I demand medicinal attentions! Preferably those of a princessy type.

And are you checking in as a patient or a cadaver?

Ice King

Hey! I'm as healthy as TEN old men!!

[weak] Wenk... wenk...

Ice King

Hoh? Oh, oh right! My penguin, he's very, very sick. So, what time does your shift end?