S6 E1Wake Up
PJPrismo/Jake
Peppermint Butler! Death!
Hey, um... those guys are doing selfies on the Lich. [pan right to see Grob Gob Glob Grod taking pictures of themselves on the Lich's shoulder] Is that safe?
[chuckles] Definitely gonna send these to Denise.
Oh yeah, that's fine. He's harmless.
Yeah, but why isn't he killing everyone in the room right now? Controlling our minds, making us rip each other's eyes out while we buttercup one another?
Well, the Lich's primary function is to cause mass death. And since he can't do that while he is trapped in my Time Room, he's stuck in a standstill, like a machine without a purpose.
[turns back] ..I'm so scared right now.
Aw, don't worry, he ain't gonna hurt nobody. [stretches his body over, puts his cup on the Lich's head] Ha!! You got a cup on your head! Ha ha, you dingus! [laughs, stretches back] See, he's docile as a lamb.
Hmm... Well, okay. Then I guess I can go for a selfie too!
Yeah, man! Make your dreams come true!
Dude... I found out my human dad is still alive.
He's at someplace called the Citadel.
Waoh! Are.. are you gonna go see him?
I dunno. Maybe I shouldn't. Maybe's there a good reason he didn't raise me. Like, he was probably captured by thieves and kept a slave for years.
Yeah—or maybe he was ambushed in the wild and hid you, so you wouldn't be captured too.
Yeah.. maybe it's better not to rock the boat.
But... it might also be good to find out if got any genetic wrist factors or allergies or whatever. Plus, you get to see what you look like as an old guy. Could be cool.
Heh... I guess it would be okay to meet him. Just to know what I look like.
[sees crystalized Lich teleported upside down] Hey, the Lich again! This must be where the prison cells be at. See? Good riddance too. I hope you rot forever, you awful jerk clapper. Some people just make the world a worse place to be in just by being around, Jake. That's right, bad apples. "Lock 'em all up," I say. At the bottom of the ocean, where it's too dark to see.
MMan
Hey, good job, son! Rub some of that sap on my leg there. Make sure to get it into the chicken wing hole.
Okay, M-Martin. We need to talk.
MMartin
Yeah, okay, kid, but hurry it up. I'm trying to act cool here, but this thing really stings!
[beat, Finn inhales and talks speedily]
Why'd you abandon me in the forest when I was a little baby!?!
MMartin
Oh... I mean... Heh... You know me. I'm a funny guy!
MMartin
[facepalms] Augh... I don't know. It was a long time ago. Who knows... [points at Finn] maybe you left me!
[Finn makes an unhappy expression with Jake leaning on his shoulder, staring angrily at Martin. He sighs]
MMartin
But, hey! Daddy's back! [grunts, scoots closer to Finn] You and me—Daddy and Baby. Or should I say... Baby and Daddy. [taps his cheek] Now slap that sap!
Uggh... [takes some of the sap and spreads it on his leg bone] Yeech.
[the sap on Martin's leg bone regenerates new veins, muscle and skin immediately]
MMartin
Whoa! Would you look at that? Smooth like new. [looks at his boot] Tch... couldn't fix the boot too, huh?
Fall. [Finn and Jake close their eyes and fall] Ha ha hahahahahaha.... You are alone, child. There is only darkness for you, and only death for your people. [Points his finger at the asteroid with the escaping prisoners] These ancients are just the beginning. I will command a great and terrible army... [Finn stands up and summons the Grass Sword, but he's too weakened, and collapses on a puddle of Guardian blood] and we will sail to a billion worlds. We will sail until every light has been extinguished. You are strong, child. But I am beyond strength. I am the end. [Finn opens his eyes, and as the Lich's hand moves towards him, he closes his left hand, covered in the shiny blood] And I have come for you, Finn. [Finn slaps him with the blood on his hand. The Lich starts to grow veins and muscle. This causes the blackness to go away. The Lich starts to spazz and make bizarre noises as he is tainted by what he is the opposite of: Life. Everyone who was under his spell aren't anymore]
[sits up] What? You don't like this stuff, huh? [reaches for more guardian blood] Whoa! [The Lich's transformation goes faster and Jake wakes up. Jake witnesses Lich transform and is disturbed, closing his eyes. Lich falls over, now made of flesh] Right in the doorbell.
S6 E3James II
BGBanana Guard 1
Hey guys, it's the picture of one of the perpetrators. Take a good look.
ABAll Banana Guards
Oooooohh.
BGBanana Guard 1
[beat] I need to see the other 24 pictures.
Nope, you only need that one.
BGBanana Guard 1
..What?! How can one picture identify 25 perpetrators?
It's because they all look the same. [BG1 stares picture for a beat]
BGBanana Guard 1
...Oh okay, I see. [turns to all BGs] There's 25 of 'em! They all look like this guy!
BGBanana Guard 2
Uh, how can 25 guys look like one guy? You mean they're vigintiquintuplets?
BGBanana Guard 1
[faces PB] You mean they're vigintiquintuplets?
BGBanana Guard 1
What are clones?
[sigh] A group of organisms or cells produced asexually from one ancestor or stock to which they are genetically identical.
BGBanana Guard 1
How did that happen?
BGBanana Guard 1
I love long stories.
BGBanana Guard 1
And they're not brothers?
No — they're not brothers, they're clones! [both Finn and Jake laughing on giant walls, which PB hears] HEY!!! Get down here and help me!!
[Finn and Jake wave their hands to tell PB to come up]
Hahh... Vigintiquintuplets, I'm telling you....
S6 E4The Tower
[walks Finn to the couch] You just went through some outrageous beeswax from losing your favorite arm and et cetera. You can't just expect to bounce right back to normal.
Nah, man. Listen. [grabs two fake arms] All these princesses donating all these gross fake arms—they mean well, [throws both fake arms in the air] but they're throwing you off your game! You got to go at your own pace. If you listen [opens fold of skin in his forehead] deep in your melon heart... [a heart shape starts beating] That's where the real instructions are. [Finn starts thinking for a beat]
..My melon wants to punch my dad in the face and steal his arm.
[chuckles] Well, those things are bad, [grabs tote bag from table] so they can't be the real instructions, but you keep listening. Me? I'm going to go to the spaghetti store and buy a new mop head. I'll be back soon. Just remember—listen to your melon heart.
Hey, man, you're back! How do you feel?
Eh, neutral, I guess. I don't want to punch my dad anymore.
That's great, dude! You can always trust the ol' melon heart to get you through! Looks like we won't be needing this thing anymore. Wanna do the honors?
[beat]
(Finn removes the wood plank holding the tower, but when it topples, its massive height causes it to crash through the Candy Kingdom and beyond. Finn and Jake stare in guilt.)
S6 E5Sad Face
RRingmaster
Too much artsy, not enough fartsy. We talked about this, clown!
S6 E6Breezy
[Finn sings as he walks through the forest with his legs dragging his slumping body forward]
I'm lost in the darkness, what will this bring?
Autumn descends on me, autumn
[a flying bee lands on a tree branch, sees the flower at the end of Finn's arm and sings along]
BBee
What do I see? Oh, so beautiful
My heart it beats, oh, so magical...
[an irritated Finn takes a walk with Breezy away from the fact Frozen Yogurt Princess bearing resemblance to Flame Princess]
She doesn't look anything like Flame Princess, does she? [kicks a rock]
BBreezy
I don't know who that is.
Exactly. [lies down on a log] I'm just trying to have fun. You know, doctor's orders. But I still ain't feelin' nothing. [sighs] Maybe I should just let this poor flower die.
BBreezy
Nooooo...! [lands on his shoulder] Listen, buddy, being a free spirit is fun and all, but you got a responsibility to that flower, just like I got a responsibility. Get this—I'm actually a virgin queen bee. I was born to lead a hive, destined for a life of obligation and ritual.
BBreezy
Yes. Once I drink of the royal jelly, my carefree days are done.
Dang! That sounds like raw deez. Breezy, you got to stay free... [gets up and jumps up] free to make out with whatevs.
BBreezy
Hah, yeah, maybe you're right. You know, it's too bad we're such great buddies or we could make out with each other. [chuckles]
BBreezy
Uh, nothing. Come on, pal! Let's run and be free!
[a red-suited Finn begins dancing into a musical number]
Round and round as the nature flows
It's like one big ring
Caterpillars eat plants
Small birds eat caterpillars
Big birds eat small birds
Bacteria eats the dead big bird
From there, plants grow
Again, caterpillar eats the plant
FBFinn & Bubblegum
How natural, no waste, it is an endless chain
What an amazing, wonderful and excellent
How harsh, not careless, it's an endless chain
What an amazing, wonderful and excellent food...
Food chaaain!
S6 E9The Prince Who Wanted Everything
And you're doing this because you like me?
No, Ice King, listen—I'monna give you the straight dope.
You're weird and old and you kidnap princesses.
But I asked here tonight because I want to know what you think of this. [presents a book]
"The Prince Who Wanted Everything. A Fionna and Cake Adventure"? Hey, why isn't my name on there?
I want you to read it, because you're their dad. Please be their dad right now and bring them to life!
[sigh] Okay, might as well. Least until the cops show up.
