The Venture Bros. Season 3 quotes

Why can't we get a straight answer?

I just saw mum's clean panties.

Oh, when she was crouching? I tried not to look. Were they-

They were white panties, Kevin. White.

(sighs) White.

What the hell are you doing?

I'm givin' you my earth germs! *cough, cough* I'm gonna kill you with my cold. *cough* Die, alien!

I'm not an alien, dillweed. I'm a henchman! And you're not a Venture Brother. Who the hell are you?

I'm Hank's friend.

Yeah, I doubt that.

Would you believe I'm... Brock Samson's long lost son?

If that were true, I don't think I would have caught you this easily.

I couldn't run because ...I had a lighter up my ass.

Ok, NOW I believe you're Hank's friend.

If I had a lady like your wife, I'd be with her right now and I'd be brushing her hair and then we'd explore our feelings.

The Monarch

If you had a lady like my wife, you would be in an alternate future where dogs talk and birds have human pets.

Actiooooon!

Action! Action! Action!

Whoa-whoa-whoa Rodney, what the hell are you doing?

What!? I'm winning the day!

Well take it down a notch! I mean, Ook-Ook's a mindless savage. And even he knows when to pull his punches!

Oh, man. This is all kinds of uncomfortable. On, like, a couple of levels!

Ya! Super-car go! Go car!

I can't believe you slept with... Killermanjaro! I had no idea he...

Neither did he, 'til the day he tried to ambush me in the middle of a threesome with Gore Vidal and Wally Schirra.

[Telepathically] You fantasize about conquering... the mother from Growing Pains?!

Oh, yeah, that episode where they showed her in the bathtub?

This is gonna be one of those things, isn't it?

Brock

Uh-huh.

I mean, you get a bunch of short-fused, costumed idiots together in one room like this, and what do you think's gonna happen? Any minute now, stuff's gonna start blowing up, guys'll be throwing each other at other guys.

Brock

Yeah, probably.

You know, when you're not the one in the middle of it all for once, it's actually totally, completely obvious.

Brock

Welcome to my life.

...but it's a melee, you live for that crap!

Brock

I'm your bodyguard, not your brother's. He can put out his own fire.

It’s too bad Col. Gentlemen couldn’t be here to basks in the glory with you. Oh, or did you guys get him killed too?

Dean

Its the ghost of Col. Gentlemen!

Thats for breaking my step-daughter’s heart.

Brock

Hey-hey-hey hey, now!

Don’t you try it Prince Adam, this old panther's still got moves that will make your mullet spin.

Dean

But, you’re suppose to be dead?

Nonsense, I'm a Ox.

Wait, Brock, don’t. We have to go back.

Brock

What?

He’s family and he’s in trouble. He needs us.

Brock

[Laughs] Get the fuck out of here.

Hah-hah. Had you going for a minute there, didn’t I? Huh!

Brock

Yeah.

Had you going.

Brock

Yeah, yeah.

Jonas Venture Jr.

Hey fellas, if I can get you to gather in the next room for a moment, I like to... What is this? Are you selling autographs?

Like gangbusters. We made table-money in like the first five minutes.

Jonas Venture Jr.

You can’t do that here. You’re cheapening the memory.

Listen Pot-Noodle, we are the memory, OK. Now I saw your "suggested donation box" on the way in. So unless your giving us a cut at the door, I suggest you go rouse Spider-man and the Great Gazoo over there.

[On the other table] Look at them, ratting us out to the man. Cowards!

I remember, when this was all under water.

Thats always sad when that happens.

I'M FLYING!!! MAKE A HAPPY SMILE!!