I go where the blacktion is.
S3What Goes Down, Must Come Up
[bitterly] You're not my mama. She was taken by marauding blackulas when I was 10.
EDr. Entmann
And let me tell you somethin' about ants! You know that whole "Ants can lift a hundred times their own weight" thing? It's a myth! Think about it. What's an ant weigh? Like, nothin'. What nothin' times a hundred?
Uh...nothin'?
EDr. Entmann
It's nothin'!
Perhaps I should cast a spell of protection on the machine.
No! No magic! Remember what happened last time? I'll be damned if I'm gonna walk outta here in Aquaman Underoos!
That’s it, just like that, easy. Pull back a bit, god, your right on top of me.
I can’t help it... it’s stiff, doc. Maybe I should lube this thing up before we take it down there.
It’ll be fine. It’s not built for speed, it’s built for deep penetration.
All right, that’s it. You promise no penetration jokes.
Oh come on, look at that thing! How can I resist? Its practically a monument to my father’s repression.
It appears your father was engage in some sort of experiment, but why would he abandon it in such haste?
He gets bored pretty easy.
And rarely tidys his work area.
Hey do you think maybe, now I'm going out on a limb here, they went, down there?
[Hank points to the basement]
You... you mean, you didn’t check?
Are you kidding? That’s like, the basement!
It’s super spooky down there!
Oh dear god.
Why else would we call magic guys to help us look!
Oh no, no no no! 16 years old!
[Sarcastically] "Triad emergency."
I said I was sorry. The boys a very, active imaginations. They're given to flights of fancy.
Yes, the little imps have certainly skylarked us into a mare's nest this time.
The skinny one thinking he has a shot at his daughter, now that’s an active imagination.
Sweet, the action-figures came?
Finally, merchandising. That’s where the real money's at.
Cha-ching.
Actually, Hasbro passed. These I made myself.
Hmm, nice work. A little on the creepy side but... You sculpt these yourself?
Oh heavens no. I merely repainted a old MEGO-doll of The Falcon.
Argh.
Would you rather be Spock with a bald spot, I’ll trade you!
Orpheus, you drag us into this BS, so how do you wanna go out? Sitting in a peep-booth waiting for some Atari bitch to tell you Game-Over, or do you wanna finish what you started?
What do you mean?
I mean we already know where they're at, so lets go get them.
Yes, yes.
Yeah-yeah, Player-3 buying in.
MUM.U.T.H.E.R
Where is Dr. Venture?
Don’t worry, I found him, he’s right here. And, he wants to talk to you too.
[Entmann puts in the video-card]
JVJonas Venture [On TV]
Oh, hello Rusty!
MUM.U.T.H.E.R
No, Dr. Venture, It’s M.U.T.H.E.R.
JVJonas Venture [On TV]
You’re looking well. Enjoying your new life below ground?
MUM.U.T.H.E.R
No, Dr. Venture, we have much to talk about.
JVJonas Venture [On TV]
Ha-ha, good. Because today I like to talk to you about personal hygiene.
MUM.U.T.H.E.R
Oh OK.
S3Tears of a Sea Cow
DDr. Dugong
Man seeks a good time, but he is not a hedonist. He seeks love! He just doesn't know where to look. He looks under the beds of whores and in the hot stem of a crack pipe. He should look to nature! Gentle aquatic mammals have all the answers!
(upon seeing Dr. Dugong for the first time) Ugh, you're all flesh-colored and...how much Thalidomide did your mom take?
You guys are sad. Why'd he decide to leave you here in the first place?
' Something about the conference having hot, desperate women.
And we had a bad run-in with the hot lava men of Tanga Island, so I can imagine how dangerous their women get when they're desperate!
I had true hatred with Venture. I didn't have to fake it! That sweet loathing just poured out of me whenever I saw his pathetic face. I just...I just wanted to kick his ass! I wanted to build a machine to kick his ass! I wanted to build an empire to house the machine TO KICK HIS ASS!
H2Henchman 24
Then, by God, let's go take a dump in his pool!
H2Henchman 21
Dude I can't believe we didn't get blown up. We're like those guys on TV who never get shot. Yeah we're like main characters.
H2Henchman 24
Don't jinx it! See anything?
H2Henchman 21
No I can't see squat with these tinted goggles on.
H2Henchman 24
Douche, use the night vision. What's wrong with you? (he hits 21 on the side of his head and 21's night vision goggles turn on)
H2Henchman 21
I can see everything! This is so cool, when did we get these?
H2Henchman 24
Like, 1994.
H2Henchman 21
Why don't I know this stuff?! Hey this is so rad. It's like Blair Witch-o-vision. Those kids' eyes look all glowy.
H2Henchman 24
What kids?
H2Henchman 21
Those two right over there!
H2Henchman 24
What are you doing, get them!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Venture Bros. pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.