Phantom Limb quotes from The Venture Bros.

Dr. Girlfriend

Well, isn't this wonderful? My favorite part was when you (Phantom Limb) decided to kill the Venture family. No, wait, it was when your (The Monarch) fake date ran off crying. Come on, Monarch, how old was she? ("Jollyrancher82")

Will you look at me? I'm in a fucking evil butterfly costume! What age group do you think is going to be attracted to me!?

Dr. Girlfriend

Super. Well, if you gentlemen will excuse me, I'm going to powder my nose or whatever the cliche is.

Hoooo, nice one! Look what you did.

Yeah, I did that.

Blackout Target Victor Echo November Seven Niner is in Daddy's lap. Repeat, in Daddy's lap. Call off Blackout team. Daddy is going to put the boys to bed... himself. (earpiece chatter and sighs) Yes, I'm going to kill them. It's a very simple metaphor.

Copy, Big Daddy. (looks over at Ward who's STILL fiddling with his mp3 player) What... just play something!

How many Yaz albums do you have on here?

Brock

Ha ha ha, for a minute there I thought you were gonna do your killer hand thing.

So did I.

Revenge, like gazpacho soup, is a dish best served cold, precise, and merciless.

Yeah, yeah, you can never have enough precision in your soup...

The Council of 13 has reviewed your request and it is denied. You are to commit no acts of vengeance against the Monarch. It matters not that you were dumped. And that's kinda... you know...

I understand, Sovereign.

May I suggest you start a journal? There you could pour out your woes upon the tears-stained pages of "dear diary."

That is an excellent suggestion, my liege.

Or maybe go jogging with friends.

I shall do just that! You honor me, my master.

So I have your word then? No movement on the Monarch?

You have my word.

Excellent! Well, I'm glad we got this wrapped up! I've got a wedding to get to... oh, uh... I'm gonna go.

Apparently, you lost your hearing as well as your arms. I said I'm getting married to your girlfriend!

Yes, yes. I heard you.

You surprise me, Limb. You're taking this pretty well. I thought you'd try to kill me.

I'm no fool, Monarch. You don't live with a woman and not know when this is coming. You don't dine on the bounty of a woman's flesh and not know what she's thinking.

OK, OK.

You don't drive your manhood over and over into a woman and...

Yes, stop. I get it! Just give me her shit and let me go. She needs something old.

In due time. I thought we'd have a nice chat first. There's one. [Shoots Mr. Monday]

Was that Mr. Monday?

Oh yes. You two were in prison together, were you not?

I saw him... around. I think.

You'd be surprised at the array of wildlife here on the grounds. Wonder what other game we could scare up. [Shoots Dr. Septapus out of the tree]

Dr... Septapus?

Oh, don't tell me, Not another one of your former prison mates? What are the odds? [Shoots him again]

All right, Limb. What's going on here?

Just disposing of some vermin. Terrible, the havoc they can wreak on a meticulously manicured lawn, you know. [Shoots White-Noise]

OK, OK, fine. So what did you do? Bust all these guys out of jail just to show me how ruthless you are?

What do you take me for, a common thug? Of course not. I hired them an excellent appeals attorney. And there he is.

Please! Phantom Limb! I did everything you asked!

I'm a reasonable man, Monarch. But don't think for a moment that I will forget this. Revenge, like gazpacho soup is best served cold, precise and merciless.

Oh, yeah. You can never have enough precision in your soup. Look, nut-job, I hate these traitorous dinks more than you do! So shoot whoever you want.

Go. Her shit is by the door in a box marked ”Hers.”

Monarch! What say you?

I say what kind of loser can't get the hint that he's been dumped?

So it's okay for you to kidnap her, but when I do it I'm a loser!

Behold! [he drops his pants to reveal his invisible legs]

Dr. Girlfriend

What...happened to your legs?

What do you know...of evil?

Dr. Girlfriend

Why? You...'eviled' your legs?

Evil is misunderstood. Society slaps our wrists and tells us to simmer down while she wages her murderous wars, destroys our planet, and prays to the mighty dollar.

Dr. Girlfriend

And then she made your legs invisible?

What, is this some kind of revenge hit? I'm retired from archvillainy!

No-one retires from Phantom Limb's shit-list!

Welcome to alive, Dragoon [Councilman 8]. My name is Revenge.

Your name is Phantom limb, you fucking lunatic.

That's Phantom Limb? No wonder! He's like number one on the "Guild's Most Wanted" list. (sarcastic) Great. Now he's gonna kill us.

I'm staying in the car- We! WE are staying in the car.

We haven't been outside in over 30 years. I'm old and I'm afraid of everything!

I am worried the streets will be overrun with teenage gangs.

Teenagers are cruel and will undoubtedly laugh and mock at us, because our trousers are not in style anymore.

And we are two heads on one body, and that has never, ever been hip.

And I can kill a man by simply touching him. Now what were your special powers again?

It's in the safe, isn't it?

I'll carry the boy bag!

You've done it, Richard! You've replicated my original machine to a T! I'm whole again!

[In supervillianous costume] The name's not Richard anymore, Hamilton. From now on, I'm Professor...Incorrigible!

Ooh...

Professor...Indolent?

Ugh!

Professor Infamous.

Mm...ah...

Professor Indo-China!

They're all a bit...forced...

Professor Inscrutable?

...Very well, but you may have to give me the shot in my derriere. Needles can't penetrate my electro-impalpable limbs!

'Needles'. Yea good one. Try huge spikes.

They're wonderful and frightening and they go into the sides of your neck and they replace all your blood!

You get your blood back at the end of the summit, unless that 'loss of life' thing happens. Then we send your next of kin a big jug of blood and a very nice card.

Now, gentleman, before we start reviewing potential candidates, you need to keep one thing in mind: SPAWM.

Baron Ünderbheit

That awful comic book!

Oh, and that movie? What was Martin Sheen thinking?

Not SPAWN, S-P-A-W-M.

Great Scott, what is he doing here?

Well you're the one who was eavesdropping.

He mumbled something about industrial espionage, and then he kept taking about "annie get your gun". You think it’s some type of code?

Baron Ünderbheit

He’s on to us!

You'er both being paranoid. Don’t you see what this is? Its opportunity knocking at our door. [Looks at Ünderbheit] Who disfigured you for life, and help Girl Hitler steal your throne? [Looks at Impossible] Who seduced your wife, then passed her off to his brother for sloppy seconds? I’ll tell you who. The very same cretin who allied with his own enemies to thwart me at Cremation Creek, and the battle for the ORB. Gentlemen, The Revenge Society just landed itself its first assignment, kill Dr. Venture!

What, like right now?