Bobby Baccilieri quotes from The Sopranos

How am I? I'm a prisoner in my own home is how I am. What do we live for?

Hugh DeAngelis

Yeah.

Anyhow, I wanna wish you a bona fortuna and also send you my regrets. I'd love to be at your jubilee.

Bobby Baccilieri

Junior...

Hugh DeAngelis

Jubilee?!

The federal government says I can't leave the house and my family keeps me sedated. Bobby told me it was a surprise party, but I told him, I go "At our age, it's enough surprise everyday when we get up in the morning. Right?"

Hugh DeAngelis

Uhh..I suppose so.

So happy birthday my friend and many more. Arrividerci.

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He was a good kid, Raymond.

The best.

At least he went fast. Not like Dick Barone, poor fuck.

Bobby Baccilieri

Dick Barone died?

Lou Gehrig's disease.

You ever think what a coincidence it is that Lou Gehrig died of Lou Gehrig's disease?

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Carlo Gervasi

What do we do about Junior?

He's in jail. That puts him out of our reach.

Vito Spatafore

Not necessarily.

Larry Boy Barese

He's a demented old fuck. I say we do nothin'. Let 'im rot, sever all ties. End this embarrassment right now.

Vito Spatafore

He "Marvin Gayed" his own nephew, the boss o' this family.

What happens ta Junior is Tony's call.

Bobby Baccilieri

That's right.

Vito Spatafore

Bobby, all due respect, where the fuck were you that night? Why was the skipper babysittin' Junior?

Bobby Baccilieri

I had other family obligations. Ask my wife. Tony volunteered.

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Lemme ask you a question. Before he cornered you in the porta-potty, when the security guard was suckin' him off-

Whoah one sec, it-it was the other way around.

What?!

Vito was blowing the security guard.

Son of a bitch!!!

Carlo Gervasi

Catchin', not pitchin'?

He's not gonna know I told you?

You ain't gonna have no problem from Vito, believe me.

What are ya gonna do?

It'll be okay. Get him ta pay for some therapy.

(to Finn) Look, why don't you, uh, go out front, just get yourself a sandwich, any kind ya like huh? Soda. And, when we're done here, somebody'll take you back. Alright. (Finn leaves)

(laughs) I wanna kill the fat faggot myself! Be a fuckin' honor. Cut off his pisciatil' and feed it to 'im.

There can be no mistake now.

I can't believe I stuck up for 'im! I feel like I've been stabbed in the heart.

Bobby Baccilieri

Well, we can't have 'im here in our social club no more. I mean, that much I do know.

Carlo Gervasi

Social club? He's gotta go!

I wanna think about it.

Bobby Baccilieri

Yeah, I-I don't know.

(Paulie stands up) What the fuck?! What is there ta think about?

Sit down. (to Paulie)

Fuck that! I'll say it again! What the fuck is there ta think about?

You gonna take care of his kids, huh, after he's gone?

It's true. They didn't do nothin'. Poor little guys.

Now sit down. (to Paulie)

I'm sorry if I yelled T, it's just, how much more betrayal can I take?

(laughing) Vito a fag. Big construction tycoon. Ton', when he was always talkin' about "greasin' the union," who knew, that's what he meant? (does jerk off notion with his hand and Patsy Parisi laughs hard in response)

Alright, this stays in these four walls. Understood?

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BBBobby Baccalieri

(angrily, at Paulie) Hey cocksucka!!! You hire some fly-by-night piece of shit and you don't tell nobody?

Jason Molinaro: Whoa, Bobby!

What the fuck you talkin' about?

BBBobby Baccalieri

You know what I'm talkin' about, you cheap fuck!

Ohhhh!!!

Patsy Parisi

Bobby, come on!

BBBobby Baccalieri

Hey, everybody wants to get rich, but you don't scrimp on safety.

Mind ya business, Bobby!

BBBobby Baccalieri

My baby girl was in that car. You owe me money, Paulie!

I owe you shit!

BBBobby Baccalieri

My wife's got nerve damage!

Fuck her too!

BBBobby Baccalieri

Get the fuck off me!

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Bobby Baccilieri

Vito. He was found beat to death this morning in a motel in Fort Lee. My cop up there told me.

Patsy Parisi

Minchia.

Bobby Baccilieri

Plus the homicide detectives told him Vito had a pool cue rammed up his ass.

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(About killing a person) You know, come ta think of it, you never popped your cherry in that regard, right?

Bobby Baccilieri

No.

Yet your old man was the fuckin' terminator.

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Bobby Baccilieri

(about playing Monopoly) You know, the Parker Brothers took time ta think this all out. I think we should respect that.

Fuck the Parker Brothers. Just play the game.

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Bobby Baccilieri

(After Tony makes a joke about Janice) Oh! What about my wife!?

You married her.

Bobby Baccilieri

She's my home. No more talkin' like that!

It's okay Bobby.

Bobby Baccilieri

Stay outta this! You Sopranos. You go too far.

Alright, you know, Jan. He's right, I'm sorry. I crossed the line, I apologize...won't happen again.

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(After Bobby beats Tony up) What the fuck were you thinking?

Bobby Baccilieri

You're my wife. He insulted you.

I'm a big girl. I can take care o' myself. Oh God, he is head of the family. Do you think he's just gonna wake up tomorrow and forget about this?

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(looking at Tony sitting outside after getting beat up by Bobby) Fuckin' look at him out there.

Bobby Baccilieri

What?

I've seen that sitting in the chair thing.

Bobby Baccilieri

Come on...people sit in chairs...

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Bobby Baccilieri

Speakin' o' loads. Hear the latest on Vito Junior.

What?

Marie called. He got expelled 'cause he took a shit in the shower in gym class.

Oh!!!

That sick little fuck!

You should see 'im. The makeup. Now without school, Marie says he's shut in his room all day.

Probably thinkin' about how ta pull a Columbine.

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Listen, I gotta talk ta you!

Now?

It can't wait T, this fuckin' Paulie!

Bobby Baccilieri

What happened?

He sent his idiot nephew and Jason Molinaro ta my father in law's store. They boosted a power to power source.

They did?

Yeah. Not exactly, Al caught 'em while they were there.

So, they did or did not take the source?

They did. Under false pretense.

And this is what you couldn't wait ta talk ta me about?

They broke inta the guy's store T!

Yeah, I hear ya, I get it. But we're in the middle o' talkin' about an ongoing potentially multi million dollar proposition here Christopher.

It ain't the money Ton'.

Oh really? Well I'm glad ya feel that way. Power ta drills, you believe this shit? Go have a Live Ricky or whatever the fuck it is you're drinkin' these days and we'll be done in a few minutes.

Forget it, alright! I got other shit ta do!

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Alright, lets dispense with the five hundred pound elephant in the room huh? My kid tried ta off 'imself. We all fuckin' know it. That's it...nobody's got nothin' ta say...

Bobby Baccilieri

How's he doin' Ton'?

They got 'im under observation, whatever the fuck that means. Stupid fuck! When did I lose this kid. What did I do wrong?

Whoah, come on.

Don't blame yourself T.

Bobby Baccilieri

Lot o' pressure on kids today Ton'.