Tony SopranoWas that fuckin' necessary? He shouldn't even've been here.
He's got a right to be here. He's got a right to a lot of things right now.
Tony Soprano
My cousin acted alone, I did not sanction this.
The 'lone gunman theory'...
Tony Soprano
You know how close he and Angelo were in the can. He flipped the fuck out!
When he whacked Joey Peeps, what flipped him out that time?
Tony Soprano
W-whaddaya want John, whaddaya want me to say?
I want your cousin on a fucking spit!
Tony Soprano
I don't know where he is.
Fine. Maybe one of your other relatives then...
What, I gotta stand here being threatened now?
Tony Soprano
Alright alright alright, nobody's making threats! Look, Tony's in hiding, John.
You either deliver that prick to my door, or I will rain a shitstorm down on you and your family like you have never fucking seen. We're done here.
Tony Soprano
(digging with shovel) Halfway ta China...there's nuthin' here.
Forty thousand I had. My share of the Bohack's haul from the seventies.
Tony Soprano
Did you wrap it right? It gets moldy...it could've disintegrated.
Tony Soprano
The money.
He knows I need that money for my fuckin' retrial.
Tony Soprano
Who?
Tony Soprano
No I don't know who, that's why I asked you.
Tony Soprano
Will you stop with that. Pussy Malanga's dead...six years now. I should dig him up already!
Tony Soprano
"Wallet biopsy"? Nice. Very nice.
RDRudy Diaz
These people are sayin' I took money from your wallet? Fuck that!
Whoah. Whoah. Whoah. What'd you say?
RDRudy Diaz
I was looking for proof of insurance. I was only doin' my job.
Tony Soprano
They heard a lot o' that at Nuremberg. You owe me two K. It was gone from my wallet.
RDRudy Diaz
I don't have that kind o' money.
One week... (Chris looks at Rudy's name tag) ...Rudy Diaz, or you'll need a paramedic.
Tony Soprano
Is he fuckin' kiddin' me?! I told them I need that W-2 in perpetuity...and 5 percent o' the fuckin' sale price?! He thinks 'cause I'm in this weakened condition, he can take advantage. Well, he can go fuck himself!
I'm just tellin' you what Phil told me, Ton'.
Tony Soprano
You tell Jason before he sells, he better understand his obligation!
Tony Soprano
Gloom is your business and business is good.
You were shot Anthony, by a member of your family.
Tony Soprano
I know.
And unless I know absolutely nothing about what I'm doing, I think you and I'll have a lot to talk about. Are you familiar with the term, "post-traumatic stress"?
Tony Soprano
I get it, okay? My uncle tried ta kill me...for the second time. Three strikes and I'm out right?
I'll tell ya one thing and I'm not ashamed ta say it. My estimation of John Sacrimoni as a man just fuckin' plummeted.
Tony Soprano
Give 'im a break, will ya? It's an emotional day...
Ta cry like a woman? It's a fuckin' disgrace.
His fuckin' coach turned into a pumpkin. Heh heh.
Well, even Cinderella didn't cry...
Tony Soprano
Look, when it comes to daughters, all bets are off. I've seen tougher guys than John cry at weddings.
Yeah, well let me ask you this. If they can make him cry and if he's that weak, what the fuck else can they make 'im do?
I gotta agree with Phil, Ton'.
Tony Soprano
Oh, you do, do ya?
Tony Soprano
He's a fa-ag!
Tony Soprano
Now what am I supposed ta do?
Tony Soprano
I know what. They're born that way, right? It's not their fault. Frankly, I think they go about in pity for themselves.
I don't think they see it as a fault.
Tony Soprano
In your circle, I'm sure you got all kinds of uh, gays, and uh, trans-whatevers of all stripes. But not where I come from.
You personally, how do you feel about homosexuality?
Tony Soprano
I find it disgusting. Men kissin' men, holdin' hands in the street. Every fuckin' TV show now, they rub your nose in it. Although, that, the lesbian thing with the, uh, Jennifer Beals, it's not bad. She a dyke in real life? I don't give too much of a shit, what people do behind closed doors with the consentin' adults. Although, don't forget, I'm a strict Catholic. I agree with that Senator Sanitorium, says if we let this stuff go too far, pretty soon we'll be fuckin' dogs.
I hear a lot of ambivalence.
Tony Soprano
This guy that got outed, look, the guys that look for me are askin' fer head. (pause) His head, what the fuck. You know, him and me, we're in the construction business. Now some o' these union old-timers, the contractors, they're not gonna wanna be seen with him. And I'm talkin' huge deals, major fuckin' dollars.
A lot of your circle must have done jail time. They can't be strangers to male-male sexual contact.
Tony Soprano
Well you get a pass fer that.
Tony Soprano
Well, what are ya gonna do? There's no women there. Y-y-you're there five, ten years. And just for the record, my, uhh, incarceration was very short term, so I never had any need for any anal-you know.
So this fellow who's been outed, what's he saying?
Tony Soprano
You think I'm lyin' don't you? About when I was in jail.
I've given you no indication I think you're lying.
Tony Soprano
What the fuck, I suppose somethin' inside me says God bless, a'salut'. Who gives a shit? I mean, I had a second chance. Why shouldn't he?
Part of your new outlook?
Tony Soprano
Maybe.
Tony Soprano
Tall fuckin' order, I'll tell ya that.
Tony Soprano
Well, you can talk about every day bein' a gift and uh, stoppin' ta smell the roses, but regular life's got a way pickin' away at it. Your house. The shit you own. It drags you down. Your kids. What they want. One bad idea after another. Just tryin' ta work a cell phone menu is enough to make you scream.
Lemme ask you a question. Before he cornered you in the porta-potty, when the security guard was suckin' him off-
Whoah one sec, it-it was the other way around.
Vito was blowing the security guard.
He's not gonna know I told you?
You ain't gonna have no problem from Vito, believe me.
It'll be okay. Get him ta pay for some therapy.
Tony Soprano
(to Finn) Look, why don't you, uh, go out front, just get yourself a sandwich, any kind ya like huh? Soda. And, when we're done here, somebody'll take you back. Alright. (Finn leaves)
(laughs) I wanna kill the fat faggot myself! Be a fuckin' honor. Cut off his pisciatil' and feed it to 'im.
Tony Soprano
There can be no mistake now.
I can't believe I stuck up for 'im! I feel like I've been stabbed in the heart.
Well, we can't have 'im here in our social club no more. I mean, that much I do know.
Social club? He's gotta go!
Tony Soprano
I wanna think about it.
(Paulie stands up) What the fuck?! What is there ta think about?
Tony Soprano
Sit down. (to Paulie)
Fuck that! I'll say it again! What the fuck is there ta think about?
Tony Soprano
You gonna take care of his kids, huh, after he's gone?
It's true. They didn't do nothin'. Poor little guys.
Tony Soprano
Now sit down. (to Paulie)
I'm sorry if I yelled T, it's just, how much more betrayal can I take?
(laughing) Vito a fag. Big construction tycoon. Ton', when he was always talkin' about "greasin' the union," who knew, that's what he meant? (does jerk off notion with his hand and Patsy Parisi laughs hard in response)
Tony Soprano
Alright, this stays in these four walls. Understood?
Tony Soprano
You lost your fuckin' mind? The shit you're in with that kid, which you brought on yourself.
Brought on myself? Oh, I suppose you let a certain element into your world, you're askin' for it.
Tony Soprano
Oh!
Jesus fuckin' Christ. How could you pull that scam at my place?
Tony Soprano
Come on, you know I woulda never let that happen if I'd known.
You're innocent. I get it. I'm just another victim of "Benny Fazio: Criminal Mastermind."
Tony Soprano
That's right. The moment you found out, instead of puttin' him in the ER, you shoulda come to me. He says he's gonna kill you Artie.
I can't take American Express now Tony. You know what that means? I have to start with the fuckin' "two-fors." My accountant insisted, ya happy? Life's not fair, right I know. But somehow, I believed my dad's crap about honest work. He used ta say ta me, "You'll see, pay's off in the end." What a joke.
Tony Soprano
I hate ta see you like this. You know that. 'Cuz you start thinkin' crazy shit!
Sure, we break some balls here tonight, but I go way back. And in light of recent humiliations, it's an honor to be joined by men, and not faggot ass corn-holin' cocksuckers like married my cousin. He should fuckin' die!
Tony Soprano
Whoah whoah whoah. Phil!
Gerry Torciano: Take it easy. Phil, you know the wine makes you emotional.
'Cuz I got an empty fuckin' stomach.
Tony Soprano
So have a breadstick.
Forty Five minutes for some grilled eggplant?
Tony Soprano
Jesus Christ. Is there nothin' without this complainin'?
Tony Soprano
Hey, Mrs. Conte. Como esta? How's the hip?
CMrs. Conte
Hey, Anthony. Oh, I need your help.
Tony Soprano
What?
CMrs. Conte
Those nigger fuckin' whores, they play that music so loud.
Tony Soprano
Now that's not nice. Now those are Puerto Ricans, Mrs. Conte.
CMrs. Conte
I ask 'em nice ta turn it down. They tell me ta go fuck myself.
Tony Soprano
Aight. I'll see what I can do.
CMrs. Conte
Thanks. Hey, how's Junior? Tell 'im I said hello.
Tony Soprano
Yeah.
The Sopranos · 454 quotes
