Lisa[to Moe] This...is episode 499.
Played by Yeardley Smith
The Simpsons · 3,477 quotes
4th most-quoted character in The Simpsons: in 585 of its 3,477 quotes
Most scenes with: Homer Simpson (249), Bart Simpson (248), Marge Simpson (169)
Lines by Lisa Simpson 70
LisaLisa[as she's being welcomed into the Kid Zone Elite] It's so diverse. I've died and gone to a PBS kids' show.
LisaI hope you're happy. You all just wasted your time working your way into an after school class. Bart, Milhouse, Nelson, and Ralph: Aahhh!
LisaI love that dog...but that is one long, stupid name.
LisaWell, Bart. I hope you're happy. All my extra credits are like frequent flyer miles on a bankrupt airline.
Lisa[as Homer changes channels, sees "Swamp Huffers"] Um...
(sees "American Tattoo Burner-Offers) oh!
(sees "Autopsy Wars") Ugh!
(sees "Coackroach Tervention") Eek!
(sees "Wheelchair Thieves of Beverly Hills") Yikes!
(sees "Porn Hoarders") Oh.
(sees "One Big Happy Hobo Taxidermy Family") Ew.
(sees "Roadkill Cook-Off") Ugh.
(sees "Everglades Gay Wedding Chapel") Well...
(sees "Cough Syrup Bandit) ew!
(sees "American Junk Piercers") Ah!
(sees "Skunk People") Dad!
(sees "Tiny Horses, Tiny Glue Factory") Nope!
(sees "Toddlers and Tarantulas", screams)
(sees "Meth Boss") Whoa.
(sees "Crocodile Matchmaker") Seriously?
(sees "Porn Hoarders: Texas", shrieks)
LisaBart must not be judged by these kids. But by a jury...of kids, mostly these kids...there's only so many kids.
LisaExcellent! [tents fingers] What am I doing? Untent! Untent!
LisaHe's just Ralph with a dream, the dream of not ralphing.
S25 Luca$
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Lisa[while the Gracie Films logo begins, but no music] Usher, will you stop that person who's shushing?
LisaMom, it's trash talk. You know how guys say mean things to their friends the way women say nice things to their enemies?
LisaShe's under a lot of stress, her husband's at sea.
LisaIt's true, it would be a cold day in Hell when I was popular.
LisaWait, I finally get what you're saying. Fracking is great, but the only place it should ever happen is in other people's towns.
LisaOh no, King Toots is closed. Dad, you're going to have to take me to the big Fox music store.
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