A character in The Simpsons
Played by Nancy Cartwright
The Simpsons · 3,477 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in The Simpsons: in 792 of its 3,477 quotes
Most scenes with: Homer Simpson (338), Lisa Simpson (248), Marge Simpson (206)
BartWho the hell are you?
I'm your guilt.
BartI don't have any guilt.
You do now.
Don't worry, Bart. I'll protect you. I'm Denial.
[Bart's Guilt kills Bart's Denial and throws him out the window]
BartAy, caramba!
BartOkay, here's a shot: you're not bald, your hair left out of embarrassment.
[turns red in anger] Why, you little.... [he grabs Bart's neck with a towel to strangle him, Bart throws his basketball into the hoop] I'll teach you to win the game! [angrily strangles Bart] You stupid buzzer-beating, clutch-shooting ice water in your veins here comes the post-game interview! You have to give them credit they played hard!
BartOh, come on, man. I'm taking my talents to Shelbyville. This is the first thing you've done as a coach. People are gonna hear about this, Dad.
I'm so proud of these boys, and especially our sixth man and knights.
BartYou're still nicer than Bobby Knight.
[stops strangling Bart, turns his face normal] All right, let me hear your side.
A Skunk-a-san! [Homer tries to throw Pokeballs at the skunk but it does not work] Why can't I capture you? [moves myPhone away, revealing a real skunk] Aah! It's real! [skunk sprays Homer] D'oh! [starts to lose consciousness then drops. cut to garage where Homer is in a tomato sauce bath]
BartSprayed by a skunk. dad, that game is too dangerous.
[Marge cooks food for her family]
Aw, water soup again?
[Marge knocks out a three eyed crow and adds it to the soup]
Now, it's crow soup.
Ooh, I call an eye!
Me too!
BartMe three!
And Maggie gets the break.
[Marge plucks the beak out and gives it to Maggie]
Aaaeeey! Uh-Ah!
[Maggie uses the beak as a passy and sucks on it]
BartIsn't this great,baby alone time. Where's Maggie’s Peek-a-boo.
Well, what do you think of my late pick-up room?
It's wonderful, hard to believe it's the same room they found all those dead rats in.
No one ever wants the apple. They must be afraid there's a razor blade in me.
Bart[sarcastic] Yeah, THAT'S the reason.
Well, here's $400, and screw you.
BartWow. I finally found my path in life: socio.
Why you little --
BartI'm not little. I'm 20, and I live at home.
Why you disappointing --
BartYou know, you're choking someone who can vote.
But did you vote?
BartNo.
Why you little --
We're going to spend family time together without watching TV.
Mom is right - Americans watch way too much TV. How many hours? Let me Google that. [uses her iPhone and laughs] Instead of TV, I typed "TB"! Let me Google that!
[The family all start using their iPhones and consoles, to Marge's annoyance]
Turn off the devices, pronto!
"Pronto!" Odd word. Let me Google that.
BartHey, I'm doing something educational.
Educational, my foot! I saw pixels.
BartIt's Tunnelcraft. A simulated world, where you explore, mine resources, and work with friends to build replicas of real buildings.
Can you die in it?
BartYes.
It's a video game!
Well, we did it, kids. And the best thing is, the next episode will beat Gunsmoke.
BartWhat about all the episodes they made on the radio?
[mad] Have a beignet.
Oh, I hate confrontation.
[shivers then nervously glances at Bart]
BartSo just leave your body.
Ok.
[Lisa leaves her body and appears as a spirit]
Oh my god! - Hey!
[camera pans downward to see Bart slapping Lisa's face. Lisa possesses herself back and pushes Bart]
[As the family hook up the VCR]
BartGross, the remote has a cord on it!
My first remote. Coincidentally, the same time I got fat.
[Nelson and his gang confront Homer, wearing Ghostface masks and armed with T-shirt cannons]
Maude Flanders says hello.
[cheerfully] Hello!
[They fire T-shirts at him, knocking him down]
Let's move! [they leave]
Thank you, Bart. I'm finally at peace. [starts to float away]
BartYou know Ned remarried?
He WHAT?!
BartDad!
[turns red in anger] Why you little... [angrily strangles Bart] life-saving, heaven can waiting!
BartHo-ho. One Sumatran Breeding Rat, already in labor.
[opens Bart's bedroom door, sternly] You paid for mail-order rats when your grandfather's nursing home is full of them? [the scene changes to the kitchen] All right, boy. I'm gonna find out just what you've been up to. [switches the light off, turns the torch on, Marge enters the kitchen and switches the light on]
Bart[gulps] Oh, Mom, thank god.
[switches the light off, turns the torch on, hand it to Homer] This one's brighter. [to Bart] Now talk. What are you up to? All right, we'll make you talk. Give me your phone.
Homer SimpsonDan Castellaneta · 1,595 quotes
Marge SimpsonJulie Kavner · 677 quotes
Lisa SimpsonYeardley Smith · 585 quotes
MSMoe Szyslak164 quotes
Mr. BurnsHarry Shearer · 140 quotes
Ned FlandersHarry Shearer · 107 quotes
MVMilhouse Van Houten97 quotes
Krusty the ClownDan Castellaneta · 81 quotes
NMNelson Muntz79 quotes
WSWaylon Smithers73 quotes
Chief WiggumHank Azaria · 72 quotes
Principal SkinnerHarry Shearer · 66 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.