Homer Simpson quotes from The Simpsons

Homer

Well, let’s get started. [Begins to run, and when he is almost kneeling for exhaustion, sees he only got as far as the mailbox "Flanders"] D'oh!

Homer

If you're trying to scare me, it won't work. I'm 100% focused on my goal. Hey, my hat has ear-flaps.

Homer

Sorry, Marge, I only eat food in bar form. When you concentrate food, you unleash its awesome power, I'm told. That's why I'm compressing 5 pounds of spaghetti into one handy mouth-sized bar. [He swallows the bar. Then dials the phone] Hospital, please.

Homer

I’m getting light headed. Good, no heavy head to carry.

Homer

Gym? [mispronounces it as "gime"] What's a gym?

Homer

Oh... a gym!

Homer

I know I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please, save me, Superman!

Homer

Stupid risks are what make life worth living.

Homer

Could you open the window? The police have Daddy's prints on file.

Homer

Marge, can we switch? I don't trust these guys.

Homer

Used grease is worth money? Then my arteries are clogged with yellow gold! [he groans with pain] Money in the bank.

Homer

Lisa, I can't imagine anyone being more likable than you. But apparently this new girl is. So my advice would be to start copying her in every way.

Homer

[while parasailing] Ooh, I'm soaring majestically like a candy wrapper caught in an updraft!

Homer

When was the last time Barbra Streisand ever did the laundry for you? And when it's time to do the dishes, where's Ray Bolger?! I'll tell you where! Ray Bolger is looking out for Ray Bolger!!!

Homer

That's the last time I trust the strangest people on Earth!

Homer

I'm the luckiest man in the world, now that Lou Gehrig's dead.