Homer Simpson quotes from The Simpsons

Homer

Well, I'm not one for taking new jobs on a whim. But as we say in the snow plow business, I'm your astronaut.

Homer

Hehehe, the brain is so stupid.

Homer

My head hairs! I'm bald!

Homer

We don't get together to share our emotions. We get together to escape them!

Homer

Sorry, Carl, it's WWII all over again. America kicks Iceland's ass.

Homer

And I'm 69 because people always laugh when you say "69." Hehe, no one knows why.

Homer

[realizes the pop-up ad "Ki-Yah! Karate Monsters"] What the? Change the channel? But I'm watching soft core tennis!

Homer

Hey, those Yelp reviews don't write themselves. Did you know a well-placed one-star could destroy a "Mom and Pop" hardware in nothing flat?

Homer

Just call me Borders Books 'cause I'll always be here.

Homer

I'm not sure man who eats right and doesn't drink can be good in bed.

Homer

Oh, I've been listening to this song for three days, and it's only the end of the first verse!

Homer

Marge, they knew what they were getting into when their parents sold them to the circus.

Homer

You like lies? Here's a few: College is expensive, but it's worth it.

Homer

[After imagining telling Marge about Homer Jr.] This simulation has been brought to you by your brain, a subsidiary of your penis.

Homer

Bart, sweetie. This is an opportunity for you to turn things around... yet again. And I believe in you... yet again.