Homer Simpson quotes from The Simpsons

Homer

Do not question the wisdom of Tom Skerritt.

Homer

If Jesus had a gun, He'd be alive today.

Homer

I guess despite all our so-called civilization, anarchy lurks around every corner like a racially diverse street gang on a network cop show.

Homer

When I found out shrimp cocktails had no alcohol, I really lost interest.

Homer

Like all childless couples, they troll the beaches waiting for the egg-layers to wander off from their young.

Homer

Worry-wart Marge. You don't look a Trojan horse in the mouth.

Homer

What women really want is a guy who's confident enough to go completely downhill after marriage and know she'll still love him.

Homer

"Spot the hidden objects." Boy, you're pretty pushy for a book I just met.

Homer

Honey, this sounds like a noble experiment, but like Prohibition, it will end in a hail of bullets.

Homer

[to Kuddle on the tablet] If I might you, why do I need all these books?

Homer

We're taking Maggie to the bookstore, so she can learn the way kids did from 1910 to 2002.

Homer

Why, you little...! That's not a heartwarming thing to end on!

Homer

Oh, my gay dad is gay for gays.

Homer

Writing is for bathroom walls and acting is for getting out of DUIs.

Homer

Marge, I thought this was an innocuous lunch, but it's become terribly ocuous.