Homer Simpson quotes from The Simpsons

Homer

That was the greatest thing I've seen on a computer that I could talk about with you in the room.

Homer

Hey, they tricked us! That's a commercial! If I wanted to pay for commercials I can't skip, I'd sign up for Hulu Plus!

Homer

If God needs money, why doesn't he just write another Bible. The first one sold pretty well.

Homer

Real doctor or PhD?

Homer

[to Sideshow Bob at the dam] How dare you torture my children with Mozart!

Homer

Honey, Grandpa is the closet thing I have to a father and I love him, but three octogenocerauses?!?

Homer

My lifestyle is my retirement plan.

Homer

Emojis! Now she's gone too far.

Homer

Kettle corn, the heroin of the farmer's market.

Homer

That's the great thing about art, everyone can have their opinion about why it sucks.

Homer

The only thing that keeps me from living here is that fish that swims up your pee stream. That is a deal breaker.

Homer

Wow...this looks just like the dress you wore on Project Runway!

Homer

Oh, why are you doing this to me, booze? I drank every kind of you.

Homer

Do you know how embarrassed I was to get a call at my arraignment for my behavior during the pub crawl because of a voodoo curse my son placed on his art teacher?

Homer

Get it together, Homer. I'm sure lots of people every time you look in the mirror and see a hideous flesh monster, just a one-time thing. [sees a reflection of normal self] Oh, brick me! [taps on the glass] Leave me alone! Why don't you go back to where you came from?