Deangelo quotes from The Office (US)

Deangelo

Michael, the last time I was exposed to a peanut I was itchy for three days, OK? I had to take baths constantly. I missed the O.J. verdict. I had to read about it in the paper like an idiot.

Deangelo

To beginnings and endings.

Michael

And to middles, the unsung heroes. And to moms.

Deangelo

The moms and the troops.

Michael

Do not tell my fiance I'm drinking on a Wednesday.

Deangelo

I won't. I don't know her.

Michael

I'm moving out to the 'burbs. Actually, I'm moving further than the 'burbs, I'm moving to Colorado.

Deangelo

Colorado! The Sunshine State.

Michael

Yep. Don't mess with Colorado.

Deangelo

Doing some skiing?

Michael

No, no. I don't want to end up like Sunny Bobo.

Deangelo

Well, that's just good sense right there. Everyone I know who skis is dead.

Deangelo

Uhhh, you sir! Are we having fun tonight?

Jim

Having a great time.

Deangelo

Oh good!

Jim

Thanks, yeah.

Deangelo

Where were you on September 11th?

Michael

No! God!

Michael

Sorry we're late, we were waiting in line at the DMV

Deangelo

Fall asleep right after sex...right guys?

Jim

Nope, go back to the script

Andy

Nine million, nine hundred eighty six thousand minutes! We actually sat down, and did the math.

Nine million, nine hundred eighty six thousand minutes! That's how many minutes, that you've worked here.

Pam

In costumes!

Jim

And impressions!

Toby

In meetings.

And cups of coffee.

Kevin

For birthdays!

Stanley

More meetings and...

...E-mail forwards you made us read.

Nine million, nine hundred eighty six thousand minutes! That's like watching Die Hard, eighty thousand times!

Meredith

You hit me with your car!

Ryan

You helped me get off drugs!

Creed

I watch you when you sleep.

Oscar

I forgive you for kissing me!

Remember to call. Call. Remember to call. Call. Remember to call. Call.

Call, text or e-mail, or call.

Deangelo

[falsetto] Measure your life in love!

Remember to call, remember to call. Remember to call.