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S6 E17

The Office (US) · Season 6, Episode 17

“The Delivery” quotes from The Office (US)

5 quotes

“The Delivery” · Season 6, Episode 17

In this episode: Michael Scott (2), Kevin Malone (2), Erin Hannon (2), Dwight Schrute (1), Jim Halpert (1), Pam Beesly (1), Angela Martin (1)

I'm having contractions, but they're irregular and far apart. So I'm not really in labor, I'm near labor.

Yeah, we're slow-playing it because of our stupid HMO.

If we check in after midnight, I get an extra day to recuperate surrounded by doctors.

Not to mention the extra night's sleep in the hospital will be very nice because once we bring the baby home, if it's crying all night, one of us is going to have to take care of it. And I do not plan on helping unless it's a boy.

I cannot wait for that joke to be over.

Bear my child.

Excuse me?

I want to have a child for business reasons and I want you to be the mother. If you agree, say nothing. If you disagree, say anything. [Angela is silent] Very well. Let's meet at 4:00 pm at our old meeting spot and bang it out.

There she sat. Her name was Pam. She was a receptionist. She was engaged to an animal. There sat Jim. He was a gawky, tall salesman. The odds of them getting together were insur-mountain-able. I made a family! I got these two together and I made a family.

Kevin, Erin would like a few words with you.

Hey.

Hi.

I have really enjoyed our time together.

Yeah, me too.

I want to continue working on our friendship.

Really, really fun.

Because I think our friendship could be a really cool thing.

Yeah, me too.

And, you're my friend.

Yeah.

And I hope that I'm your friend... and maybe...

Yeah.

Oh my God, this is agonizing. Look, Kevin, do you really think that you could have dated Erin?

You said she liked me.

Okay, even if someone told you that, you should know that could never be possible, Kevin. And I'm surprised that you didn't question me in the first place.

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