Erin Hannon quotes from The Office (US)

Andy

Erin, you wanna go to Tallahassee?

Erin

I do. I really do. I think it would be a nice way to clear my head.

Dwight

You know, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to clear your head any more than it has been already.

Jim

I am on the two-kid sleep schedule so I'm up and at 'em at four fifteen, but no kids, so I honestly didn't know what to do with myself, and then I thought of something. Uh-

Dwight

Heeeere's Dwi- what the-? [sees trashed room] Oh man.

Erin

What do you think happened?

Dwight

Looks like Jim got mixed up with some bad apples. [sees "IT WAS DWIGHT" written in lipstick on the door] Oh no, no, no, no. It wasn't me. I gotta find Luwanda at The Alcohol Club. Oh.

Andy

[to Erin] Uh, I am here to take you back to Scranton. Because I love you, and I want to be with you.

Where's the ring?

Andy

Hm?

Where's the ring, Lancelot?

Erin

Uh, would you guys mind if we talked privately for a second? Sorry, Glenn.

Erin

Um, Andy... I am so happy to see you. But I'm not coming back with you.

[whispering off screen] Why won't she go with him?

[whispering] I don't know. Maybe it's 'cause he's not that handsome.

Erin

Hey, don't listen.

Andy

You are not the manager. I earned that job. I was personally chosen after Robert was chosen and quit.

Robert

Andy, why don't you just take a seat?

Andy

Why don't you take a seat, you idiot? [throws chair]

Erin

And why don't you take all your stupid memos and your stupid pens and your dumb caramels?

Andy

And your stupid face! [grabs Nellie's photo off the wall and smashes it on the ground]And your stupid office! AHHH!

Darryl

He does not like that wall.

Dwight

[locked inside Andy's office] Attention, people of the office. You have exactly sixty seconds to evacuate the bullpen. At that time, [pulls pin from grenade] I will be tossing this powerful insecticidal grenade, which contains piperonyl butoxide as well as...

Erin

Dwight, are you okay?!

Dwight

Whoa. That butoxide has a mild hallucinogenic effect, but I don't think it's kicked in yet. I'm gonna count down from ten. Ten, nine, yellow, cold, sad, purple...

Erin

Wow. He got to purple.

Andy

Will you tell me bluntly, do you think I'm making a terrible mistake quitting my job to become an actor?

Erin

Bluntly, yes, huge mistake. Andy, honestly, I think you might become homeless, or maybe even starve.

Andy

Thank you.