Miss Piggy quotes from The Muppet Show

Miss Piggy

[whispers to the pig minister] Do it!

Miss Piggy

Holy guacamole! This looks like a job for Wonder Pig!

Miss Piggy

Beaker, I told you never to talk to me like that! [Beaker exhales heavily and walks off] Because I can't understand it.

Miss Piggy

Do you prefer Shakespeare to Bacon?

I'd prefer anything to bacon.

Hey, listen, how about you, and me getting together, and making some steam heat. Huh, snuggle bunny?

Miss Piggy

Snuggle bunnny? Why, uh...

Yeah. Look, let me take you away from all this. Ah, a marriage made in heaven! A frog and a pig. And we can have bouncing baby figs!

Kermit

Well, Piggy, sometimes, the truth hurts.

Miss Piggy

Hurt? I'll show you hurt, Kermie!

Miss Piggy

Kermit, dear, did you know that every time we have a beautiful girl on this show, you forget about me?

Kermit

Yeah, well, we could have a seal act on this show, Piggy, and I might forget about you.

Miss Piggy

[giving Ethel roses] Miss Merman, from all of us, to you.

Oh, how kind of you, Miss Piggy...they won't explode, will they?

Oh, hold my hand, pig-of-my-dreams! Just touch me, oh, hog-of-my-heart!

Miss Piggy

Here's a touch for you, wimp-buzzard, HAI-YA!

[singing while following Miss Piggy] She kissed me! She put her arms around me and she kissed me!

Miss Piggy

[humiliated] It was that case of the mistaken identity!

Hug me, Miss Piggy! Hold me!

Miss Piggy

I will not hug you, you...twit turkey!

Oh, hold my hand, pig-of-my-dreams!

Miss Piggy

Will you beat it, twerp?!

Just touch me, oh, hog-of-my-heart!

Miss Piggy

Here's a touch for you, wimp-buzzard!

I'm ready!

Miss Piggy

HAI-YA! [karate-chops Gonzo, and leaves]

[singing dazed] She touched me...She swung her porky pinkies and she touched me! [faints]

Kermit

Piggy, while I appreciate this offer of affection, I hope you will understand when I tell you, as usual, that I do not want you.

Oh, then can I have her?

Miss Piggy

HAI-YA! [standing between Kermit and Gonzo, she karate-chops both of them, one with each hand] That is known as getting two turkeys with one chop.

At least we could have brought a TV set. I'm missing all of my favorite bowling shows.

Miss Piggy

You and your bowling shows! He cries at the sad parts.

What does that red light mean?

Well, The red light means stop, The green light means go, and the yellow light means....

Miss Piggy

No! No! No! Not traffic light, That light on the control panel.

Oh, That light. Well, That means we are invaded by alien beings.

Sorry I was late. I had to change the bus across town, and the traffic was terrible.

Miss Piggy

Never mind. Just get me out of here.

[noticing Uncle Deadly's boots] Say, I know those boots. Weren't you a flamenco dancer in Kansas City?

Why yes, I was.

Harry's Boom Boom Room?

You caught my act?

I could never figure out how you did that passé double thing, though.

Miss Piggy

Paso doble.

Oh, quite simple, my boy. Quite simple. Music, maestro, please.

Miss Piggy

Music?! [Uncle Deadly starts to dance. She turns to the camera in disbelief. Uncle Deadly's feet come dangerously close to her hands] What?! Hey, hey! Cool it up there!

Now to the Passionato del Thunderdoor, you give it an extra little flourish.

Miss Piggy

Watch it!

[to Uncle Deadly] Aha! You mean like this? [starts dancing as well]

Miss Piggy

Whoo-hoo, hee-ha, hold it! Easy! Down, boy! Hold it! Hoo, hey! Cool it!

Almost, almost. No, more like... [shows Wayne the dance again. Wayne joins in]

Miss Piggy

Hey! Hey! Hey, Deadly...Hey, wait, hey! [Wayne steps on her hands, causing her to lose her grip and fall off the cliff screaming. Uncle Deadly and Wayne congratulate each other on their dancing] I suppose you think that's funny!

Kermit

Now I'm stuck on you!

Miss Piggy

Oh, at last, my frog wants me! Oh, thank you! [notices he's literally stuck on her] Oh... Oh... Will you let... Will you - Get away from me! What is this?

Kermit

I just want to know more about this wedding sketch, I mean. I've got to learn my lines, Piggy.

Miss Piggy

Well.. you only have one line.

Kermit

I do?

Miss Piggy

Exactly.