Scooter quotes from The Muppet Show

[to the stage hands in the rafters] Hey, somebody kill that light!

Kermit

Your salary is 20 a week.

Could you make it 25?

Kermit

Are you kidding? I can't afford it!

Gee, my uncle will be really disappointed.

Kermit

How about 30?

I – I was just in my star's dressing room, and I saw the most ghoulish, fiendish-looking face in the closet!

That was me, clown! And I was hanging up the wardrobe.

Oh, what's this?

Fozzie

[in disguise] What does it look it like, small boy I have never seen before?

Kermit

Listen, it's very healthy to see what other people in the field are doing. And it is an enriching experience.

Fozzie

Yeah.

Kermit

Hey, Scooter, what's next?

Oh, it's a guy named Lenny the Lizard. And he's an emcee.

Kermit

What the hey?

Oh Dudley, Dudley Moore, Fifteen seconds to Curtain, Mr. Moore!

(As he tries to tune his piano) Thank you, Scooter. But you see, I am having a bit o' trouble getting this piano tuned. Can you give me an A?

Sure, Easy! [Uses a hand gun to shoot at the ceiling and it reveals the letter A!]

Kermit! Kermit! I've just learned a terrible thing.

Kermit the Frog

What now?

I just met that old gypsy woman in the alley.

Kermit the Frog

Mm-hm.

She made a dire prediction!

A dire prediction? (two chickens faint) I was right.

Kermit the Frog

So — so, what was the dire prediction?

Well, the old gypsy woman said that, in the final stages of the curse, Jonathan Winters would turn Swedish!

(gasp!)

Kermit the Frog

I don't believe it.

Girls, did you hear that? In the final stages of the curse, he'll all be... (doing the Mock Swedish Dance) Look at me, I'm dancing.

Kermit the Frog

Gonzo!

Oh, it's happening already. Gonzo just turned Dance Swedish! Soon everyone'll — (doing the Mock Swedish Dance)

Fozzie

Scooter! Kermit — listen to Scooter! He — (doing the Mock Swedish Dance)

Kermit the Frog

Fozzie!

Fozzie

What?

Kermit the Frog

Hey, listen to me, everybody! Uh, hey, listen, there's nothing terrible about turning Swedish! I mean, some of my best friends are Swedish.

Nothing terrible? Oh. (muttering) Who?

Kermit the Frog

The Swedish Chef.

Victory is mine! Stand up and do the Mock Swedish Dance! Yeah! (doing the Mock Swedish Dance)

Lynda Carter, Lynda Carter?

I know, I know, 20 seconds to curtains.

WOW! You can read my mind!

No! I am reading the script.

No! Kermit wouldn't allow a script.