Kermit the Frog quotes from The Muppet Show

Kermit

[after Juliet called him "the Robert Redford of frogs"] You're gonna be coming back on this show a LOT!

Kermit

Okay, okay, good bit, good bit, good ending, and sorry about the head.

Kermit the Frog

This go-fer's about to become a gone-fer.

Kermit

That was great! And, you are just wonderful, Valerie! I tell you, you are going out on that stage a star, but you are gonna be coming back a chorus girl, right?

Kermit

You have to treat the chickens pretty well, because they've got a very tough union.

Kermit

I mean, you know, if you can afford to pay off the audience, and buy all those flowers, and the fur, and the mail, and all that stuff...

Kermit

Uh, ladies and gentlemen, Switzerland has given us some watches, some chocolate, and some silliness. And, we take you now to the Alps for the latter.

Kermit the Frog

Thank you, Thank you, And welcome again to The Muppet Show. And we have great show because our guest star is on our favorite German actress, Mrs. Elke Sommer. But before we get to her, Ladies and Gentlemen: Bobby Benson's Baby Band!

Kermit

Well folks, our own Scooter has prepared an act for us. He can't play very well, but he's worked very hard on this, and after listening to Mark and Angus Gershwin Gargling, anything should sound good.

Kermit

The show must not go on... because I quit! I give up! Our guest star's a pirate, the theater's sailing out to sea and I'm losing my mind!

Fozzie

Bug off? What kind of joke was that?

Kermit

That was no joke, Fozzie.

Fozzie

That was my wife!

Kermit

Your salary is 20 a week.

Could you make it 25?

Kermit

Are you kidding? I can't afford it!

Gee, my uncle will be really disappointed.

Kermit

How about 30?

Kermit

Can we get back to the subject at hand... Florence?

Well, there's no question in my mind!

Kermit

[after a pause] As to what?

Nothing! There's no question in my mind! Ha ha! No answers either.

Hey, Kermit, are you busy?

Kermit

Yes, Gonzo, but I can give you my ear for a minute.

What would I do with your ear?

Kermit

[exasperated] Van Gogh impressions.

You'll all see because there's only one Great Gonzo, only one!

Kermit

Thank goodness for that.