Luna quotes from The Loud House

Wow. Can you believe this? My sisters are pretty cool. Even if I can't see SMOOCH, this is definitely the next best thing!

Luna

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, SMOOCH!

What? [SMOOCH's tour bus stops in front of the Loud House] How did you get SMOOCH?

Luna

We've learned to be pretty convincing, thanks to some advice from the master!

Leni

Lincoln, you're perfect just the way you are!

Lori

You're kind.

Leni

You're fashionable.

Luna

You're rockin.

Luan

You're funny.

You're tough.

You're deep.

You're friendly.

You're smart.

You Yincoln Youd.

Lori

Now give me that jacket and go out there and just be you!

Lori

Hey, are either of you guys free for a babysitting job tonight? Mrs. McCauley just called and I can't do it, I'm sitting for the Dumscums.

Luna

Sorry, dude. I got the Katzes tonight. I'm gonna teach Jamie and Sydney how to do a drum circle.

Luan

I'm sitting for the Santinis. I've got some great comedy props in case little Mary gets a ouchie. [hits herself with a toy mallet and faints]

Leni

Thanks, Luan, that makes me feel much better about my ouchie.

Rita

Oh, no. Sweetie, don't worry. We'll get you a new sundae. [knocks on the window] Uh, excuse me!

Luna

No dice, dudes, they close at 5:00 this week.

Lynn Sr.

[Annoyed] What? Huh, you think they'd advertise something like that.

Rita

[picks her up] Oh, poor baby. Let's get you home.

Luan

(excitedly to her still sleeping dummy) Good morning, Mr. Coconuts!

Wow! You're extra chipper today. What's the occasion, doll?

Luan

(Looks at the calendar next to her bed.) Today is my first official date with Benny, remember?

Oh, wright, correct. Why could you not forget?

Luan

What should I wear? (puts on her glasses) Maybe these gag glasses? Always a classic. (puts on a hat) Or what about this mini top hat? (she looks at herself in a mirror and gasps, she sees a huge pimple on her face) Aaaaaaah!!! (she wraps herself in her covers)

Jeez, the hat doesn't look that bad.

Luan

No, look, I have a huge pimple. Oh, I can't let Benny see me like this. Oh, why didn't you say anything?

I didn't realize, and I can certainly see it now. Yowzers! (Picks up a banana and uses it as a phone) Hello, operator? Give me NASA! I just discovered a new planet!

Luan

Not helping, Mr. C.

Lori

Okay, take a deep breath. Pimples are literally no big deal. And plus, Benny should like you for who you are, not what you look like.

Luan

(Feeling better) Maybe you're right.

Luna

Good golly miss molly! That thing's a monster!

Luan

It is?

Monster? Where? Aw, it's just a zit. But man is it huge? (The siblings gasp and walk in) Can I pop it? Please? (Lori stops her from popping her pimple)

Uh, popping the beast will spread bacteria.

Luna

Sleep, furry babies in kitty dream land.

With visions of yarn balls and tuna fish cans.

Luna

For when you awake, the dawn comes anew...

And morning shall greet you with a bright and happy "mew"!

Rita

[impressed] Wow, that's your sixth plate tonight, honey. You must be feeling better.

Oh, yeah. Thanks to this guy. [points to her brother, with everyone looking at him] He helped me see that I shouldn't make such a big deal about having a critic. Everyone has 'em, especially you guys.

I think you mean everybody but me. [chuckles]

Well, no. You have that one judge who says your ribbon routine is weaksauce. Oh, wait, no, no, wait, no, no. Lame. No, no, wait. What was the word she used, Lincoln?

Uninspired.

Bingo. There it is. [Lola whimpers and sulks in disappointment] Relax. It's not just you. Lincoln pointed out that you all have a hater. Tell 'em.

Sure. Well, Luna, the Burnt Bean manager thinks her grandma's piccolo band is better than the Moon Goats. [Luna sulks in dismay; to Luan] Luan, one user thinks you're about as funny as a stubbed toe. [Luan sulks in sorrow; to his father] Dad, Mr. Grouse thinks you should stick to lasagnas. [to his mother] Mom, one reader said your advice ruined her life. [to Lisa] And Lisa, some scientists are really over Todd.

Knowing you guys all have critics sure made me feel better. Linky, can you pass the salt?

You betcha.

[mumbling] Over Todd.

[snorts] Uninspired.

Luna

[gnawing on her bed sheets] Piccolos…

Rita

[bolting out of bed] I ruined her life!

Lynn Sr.

Stick to lasagna… [attempts to leave, but falls off the bed]

Luna

I think we should open with this song tonight. What do you think, Chunkster? [suddenly hallucinates the Burnt Bean manager's face on Chunk]

[disgusted] I hate it! Why did I ever hire you? [ejects the tape and chucks it out of the van] I should have gone with Grandma Gertie!

Luna

[turns around, hallucinating the manager's face on Sam, Mazzy and Sully, all laughing at her; can't take it anymore] STOP!

[abruptly stops his van on an intersection] Give a bloke some warning next time, love.

Luna

Why did you have to tell us about our haters, dude?

Now we're all freezing up!

Look, I'm sorry I told you guys about your critics. I was just trying to help Lynn.

[punches a hole in the front door; irately] Stinkoln! [opens the door and enters the house, grumbling]

[nervously] I hope that's a happy "Stinkoln."

Your dumb "cure" didn't cure me! Scoots heckled me some more and now I've got emu legs again! Wasn't even at a game, it was at the mall food court!

Lynn, why are you paying attention to Scoots? [to his family] Why are any of you paying attention to those people? It doesn't matter what they say.

It's easy for you to say! You don't have to deal with it!

You just go around ruining lives!

Lynn Sr.

What a life-ruiner.

[surprised] Dude, that Chandler's a real jerk.

Yeah, he is. But he doesn't bother me, and that's the whole point. I mean, at first he really got to me, but the more I ignored him, the easier it got. Plus, why should I care what he has to say? I'm doing what I love. And that's all that matters.

Rita

And if you can handle Chandler, I think we can handle our critics. Right, everyone?

Luna

Totally.

Lynn Sr.

Yeah, I guess so.

Lynn Sr.

What the heck is going on in here?

We really messed up.

Yeah, after you guys left, we busted up the living room.

Leni

Then we tried to clean up but lost the furniture and ended up running all over town to get it back.

Hence our overactive eccrine glands, street name…

Lynn Sr.

Sweatiness, we know. Look, I'm not jazzed about the cover-up, but at least you guys tried to make things right.

Rita

And this is a big family, mishaps come with the territory. It's the law of the Loud house.

Preach, Mother, preach.

Luna

Still, we're so sorry about the couch, dudes.

Rita

Maybe you should come see what's outside.

Well, who's gonna start?

[sighs] Dang it. [approaches Leonard] Gramps?

[chuckles] Yes, little minnow?

Fishy stuff no fun. Bad for camp.

[stops playing] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whaddya mean?

Luna

Gramps, dude, what Lily's trying to say is that all that fisherman stuff was great, when you were a fisherman.

Leni

But it's not so great for a camp. You have to make people wanna come here.

If Mom and Dad find out we broke the vase again, we'll definitely be grounded for the whole year.

Luna

Can't we just get rid of it?

[imitates buzzer] They'd noticed. In case you haven't heard, it was a wedding gift.

That vase has been nothing but a pox on this house.

Ugh! I wish Mom and Dad never got this heinous thing in the first place!

[to Lisa] Are you thinking what I am thinking?

To the lab!

Siblings, I figured out a way to save our collective gluteus maximi. A while back, I unlocked the secret of time travel. I swore to never use it again, but desperate times call for desperate measures. My plan is simple: I'll travel back to the day of Mom and Dad's wedding. There, I'll prevent our parental units from ever receiving the vase. In layman's terms, no vase, no grounding. Any questions?

[raises her hand] Yeah… I've got one, brain box. Won't removing the vase affect the fabric of the space-time continuum?

Actually, that is a highly perceptive question.

[nudges Lola] Eh?

And I am stunned, quite frankly, it came out of your mouth. [Lola nudges Lynn in return while giggling] But don't worry, I have done the requisite calculations. I found that swapping the vase with another gift -- in this case, a mundane, gently used toaster -- would have the least impact on the space-time continuum.

Luna

Dang it! The Rumble's tonight and there's no way I can sing like this! What am I gonna… [hiccups] do?!

[gasps] I know what will cure those. An anti-hiccup elixir! [Luna gasps in excitement] Yeah, if only someone would invent one.

Luna

[hiccups, then groans] Come on, sibs, one of you has to know how to get rid of my… [hiccups and falls off the table] Please. You gotta help me.

Luan

Aw, Luna, you know we're hicc-up for it. But first thing's first… [to the other siblings] Everybody hurry and eat while she's down!

Luna

[groaning] We got zilch.

Agh! And we've been working forever. How long has it been? Hours? Days?!

[checks the time on her phone] It's been seven minutes.

This is very hard. How are we supposed to find songs toddlers rock to?