Lynn Sr quotes from The Loud House

Lynn Sr.

[sighs] I want our LJ back.

I have an idea, but we're all gonna have to eat some meatballs.

[smelling something] Mmm. Do I smell beef? [opens her window and gasps] Hey, what's going on?

Lynn Sr.

[carrying a bowl of meatballs] Hey, LJ! Just having a special night… meatball buffet and a neighborhood football game.

But that's like my dream night! The only thing better would be if you were having chocolate cake in a mud run!

Lynn Sr.

Be that my favorite brother and favorite niece?

Lincoln! Uncle Lynn! [runs over to her favorite cousin and uncle, all hugging happily]

Hey, Shelbs!

Sweet bathrobe, little bro.

Lynn Sr.

Nae, good sir. 'Tis a magic cloak, for I am Hamdalf the Wise. And this is my apprentice, Spare Rib. Ahh, I see you're traveling with the Pork Ranger!

Verily! I be a half-orc archer whose prosciutto arrows have slain many a foe! Now to come up with your character, Dad.

[runs over to his father along with Shelby when he comes out of a bush, dazed and groaning] Hamdalf! What happened?

Lynn Sr.

[ashamed] Forgive me, companions. Dumbleboar didn't send me on a quest to faraway lands to seek the gem, yet I have failed.

[confused] "Faraway lands"?

Lynn Sr.

Verily. I had to cross I-75!

[turns to her father; shocked] Were you trying to get rid of Uncle Lynn?

[nonchalantly] It was just a misunderstanding.

[off-screen] You, sir, are a cheater! [comes out of another bush, his hands and feet are tied up with sausages and his wizard costume is gone] This monster broke out of the stocks and tied me up in sausage!

[hurt] That's not true, Dad. Is it?

[as Kotaro and Harold glare at him; hesitantly] No, it's n-- [stammers] I don't know. I di-I didn't...

[fuming angrily at him for sabotaging the game and deceiving her] Thanks for ruining the game! [runs away]

Shelby! Wait! [sighs in disappointment to himself as everyone else walks away and comes up to his brother] Well, you win. Shelby officially likes you better.

Lynn Sr.

[confused] What are you talking about?

I came here to connect with Shelby, but instead, she ends up connecting with you. Thanks, Hambone.

Lynn Sr.

Okay, it's "Hamdalf," and I'm not your problem. You are.

And what is that supposed to mean?

Lynn Sr.

You haven't been listening to Shelby all day. You've just been doing what you want. This game might seem silly and ridiculous to you, but it's important to her.

[touched by the wise words] Huh. Wow, you are so right. You really are Hamdalf the Wise. I know what I have to do.

Lynn Sr.

[peeks out from the kitchen and sees the other Holo-Lincoln studying on the table; surprised] I gotta say, I thought for sure you'd try some elaborate scheme to get out of studying.

Just studying! You know me!

Lynn Sr.

[tearing up] I guess you're… [sniffles] growing up! I know. I'm sorry. "Not cool, Dad!" [chuckles] Well, I'm off to the restaurant. Keep up the good work!

[chuckles nervously as he takes a few steps back] You're probably wondering what's going on.

Rita

Yes, we are.

Just cleaning up!

Lynn Sr.

[sternly] Well?

[sighs shamefully] Okay. The truth is, I didn't want to clean or study. So, I tried to get out of it by making holograms… [looks at Lisa peering behind the desk table and points to the waiver, reminding him not to tell anyone where he got the holograms] With some help from a David Steele comic.

[simultaneously sharped] Elaborate scheme! Called it! Jinx!

I'm sorry, but I sure learned my lesson. We can probably just let this one go, right?

[simultaneously] No. Jinx again!

Okay, studying is done, room is all clean, now all that's left is Luan's comedy show. [leaves his room and enters the living room, hopping on the chair]

Oh, there he is! The hologram with the plan himself! It is you, right?

Very humorous, Luan!

[whispering] Don't worry. I didn't tell them anything about our little--

Very humorous, Luan!

Lori

I heard Dad sneeze! Get inside! [quickly closes the door as her siblings dash inside her apartment]

Ugh. Dad is the worst when he gets a cold. He turns into such a baby. [to Lily] No offense, Lily.

[shrugs; not caring] Mmm.

Lori

Okay, guys, don't panic. We can all stay here until Dad is well again. [grabs her bag] I'll run to the grocery store and get supplies, so we can hunker down. [opens the door, ends up bumping into Rita as she appears and falls on the floor]

Rita

There you all are. Listen, your dad is a bit under the weather, and I have to get to work. I need you to take care of him till I get home. [the siblings all groan in dismay] I know he can be a little… dramatic when he's sick. [cringes as her husband sneezes loudly]

Lynn Sr.

[off-screen; weakly] I can't feel my face.

Rita

All you have to do is make sure he hydrates and rests.

Fine.

Lori

Sure, Mom.

Rita

Thanks, kids. I appreciate it. [leaves]

Lori

We can do this, guys. As long as we work together… [catches Lola trying to bail by sneaking out the window] Uh, Lola, no sneaking out the window.

Lynn Sr.

[sniffles the mucus in his nose and groans] Who's there? Are those my children?

Luna

It's okay, Pops. You've just got a cold.

Lynn Sr.

Oh, thank you kids for trying to give me hope. I know how bad it is. [sadly writes a will]

[takes the book out his hands] Oh, for the Oath of Hippocrates. [takes out a thermometer] Father, I am going to prove you're overreacting. Open up. [Lynn Sr. groans as she sticks the thermometer in his mouth, then checks her watch] See? 98.7 degrees. You're fine.

Lynn Sr.

[gasps in shock] Fine?! Normal is 98.6! I'm burning up! Can someone make me some toast and tea, please?

I'll do it!

Lori

[blocking Leni, Luan and Lola's way from getting to the front door by bailing] No way! No one's bailing on Dad duty. We are all in this together.

Lynn Sr.

[off-screen] Uh, can someone siphon the snot from my nose with a turkey baster?

Lori

Okay, we all have to get out of here.

Lori

[not what she expected] Wait, you're not Jeremy.

Yes, I am. It's nice to finally meet you, Lori.

Lori

Huh?

I was supposed to be on the Dream Boat, but I got paid off by a short guy with white hair and an orange fedora. I don't think the fedora really worked, though.

Lori

[knowing that description anywhere] No one does. Sorry, I got to make a phone call.

[putting away his fedora hat] So long, Boat Lincoln. [gets a call] Hi, Lori. Wow, you look mad. [Lori drags the real Jeremy into view, sharply, knowing where this is going; gasps in shock] I can explain everything!

Lori

[teasingly] Hey, Jeremy.

Bobby

Lori, you figured it out.

Lori

Mmm-hmm.

Bobby

Wait, but what are you doing here? Why aren't you with Jett?

Lori

'Cause he's not you. [tearing up] All that time on the ship, I kept being drawn to Jeremy. And now I know why. You're the only first mate for me, Boo Boo Bear.

Bobby

[also tearing up] Oh, Babe, you're the only first mate for me, too.

Luna

[points to Lincoln] Lincoln told us everything.

Lynn Sr.

And we were not going to miss this.

Translation: I love you guys.