[The Loud family is in London, England, and Rita is seemingly driving their rental double-decker bus on wrong side of the road]
Lynn Sr.Honey, you're on the wrong side of the road! [Steers the bus on the left side. The Loud siblings scream from the back]
I always forget they drive on the left side in England. Everyone okay back there?
[The Loud siblings are pressed against the window]
[Rita presses her foot on the breaks as the traffic light turns red and the bus screeches to a stop]
[to a British man who's preparing to board their bus] Sorry. This is our rental bus. We have a wheely big family. [laughs]
[pops up in front of the viewers] Welcome to London! So what are the Louds doing across the pond? Good question. Luna got an invite to attend Mick Swagger's knighting ceremony at the Royal Castle. And because she's such a huge fan, Mick flew out our whole family! That's right, we traveled all the way from Royal Woods, Michigan, to London, England.
[A map shows the Louds' plane flying from Royal Woods, Michigan, USA, over the Atlantic Ocean, and lands in the England state of the European country]
[reading Mick Swagger's autobiography when Lynn kicks her soccer ball, knocking it out of her hands] Chill out, Lynn! I'm trying to reread Mick's autobiography, even after the 10th time, I'm learning new dets about his life.
LLynn
And I'm trying to get into the English spirit. Brits love soccer.
They call it "football" here, Lynn. And the King's favorite team is the Chuffbottom Chips.
[to the viewers] Lori spent the whole flight binging a reality series on British royals called Drama Kings, so she thinks she's an expert now.
Lynn Sr.
[in British accent] Oh, oh, there's the local chippy where me and me mates used to nosh on sonnies. [laughs]
[chuckles] Dad is trying to relieve the college semester he spent in England. And me? I'm just excited to be in the city where they shot my favorite David Steele movie; To London with Love. Whoa! I think David jumped from that rooftop!
[Their bus comes to a stop in front of the Royal Castle and the siblings are slammed against the window]
[gasps] Look! We made it to the Royal Castle!
Lynn Sr.
[gasps when he hears Luna scream off-screen] I know that ding-dang scream anywhere! That's my Luna! [he, the family, and X head down to the Royal hall] Luna!
[frantically] It's Mick! He's…he's…he's been taken!
[Pan over to a table with the tea spilled and Mick's guitar and everyone gasps in horror]
But what does Mick Swagger have to do with the King's shredder and jams?
XX
[gasps in realization] He is the King's shredder, he is the King's jams! The code words for a musician. The target all along was Mick!
[The Louds gasp in shock and look at Lincoln]
[shocked with horror, realizing he screwed up] Oh, my gosh! I totally beefed it!
[End of Act 1; Beginning Act 2… The Louds are walking out of the Royal Castle to their bus in utter disappointment while Luna tries to console her brother]
[disappointed with himself] Awww, it's all my fault Mick's gone.
No, it's not, bro. You meant well.
If I hadn't given X the wrong targets, she would've moved her agents so Mick would still be here.
Yeah, you're totally right. I was just trying to make you feel better.
[As everyone dances to the Swagger Stagger song, Lynn Sr. dances a bit too far, and accidentally bumps his hip into the King, sending him to fall out the window and into a puddle while he and the family look outside]
[horrified] Dad, that was the King!
Lynn Sr.
Okay, everyone on the bus. Our trip starts now. [leaves and the others follow]
[The Louds arrive in Naples, Italy while Lynn is carrying the whole family and sets them down]
[to the viewers] Buongiorno from Naples, Italy. [the map of Europe shows their rental bus leaving England, driving through France, and arrive in Italy] We drove our double-decker bus all the way through England, and then through France to get here. And now, would you believe if I said we've been backpacking for miles to get pizza? Oh. You would. Well anyway, Gus from the Games and Grub, tipped us off to the secret location of the world's best pizza, but his directions, are just a little hard to follow. And not just because they're written in marinara sauce. [reads the postcard] "Once atop the tomato shaped hill, follow the smell of oregano for 700 pizza paddles?" Confusing, right?
[sniffing] Oh, I smell the oregano. It's coming from that way.
Lynn Sr.
[walking while counting as the family follows him] One pizza paddle, two pizza paddles, three pizza paddles, four pizza paddles, five pizza paddles, six…
[sniffing] It's coming from here. This must be it.
This is where the world's best pizza is made? Maybe we misread the marinara.
[in Italian accent; off-screen] The sauce never lies. [the Louds gasp and turn to her, whose standing behind them; kindly] Benvenuti. I am Nonna Viola, and you must be the Louds.
Lynn Sr.
What? How did you know (who we are)? Are you some kind of mind reader?
Oh, la familia Loud. I thought you went home. What happened to you?
[in Italian] Abbiamo scalato il vulcano e raggiuta la cima, poi il vulcano fato. BOOM!
You climbed the volcano and reached the top before it went BOOM?!
Lynn Sr.
Oh, it boomed, lady. It BOOMED!
And you still tried to get my stone?
LLynn
We had it too, but then it broke. Freak chest bump accident. It was nobody'z fault.
I love the decor of your castle. It's very mid-century goth.
UUla
How lovely of you to notice. Please, come in.
NFNos F
[as the Louds enter the castle] Oh, forgive us, we have not introduced ourselves. I am Nos F Ratu, and this is my wife, Ula.
Lynn Sr.
Nos F Ratu. Why does that name sound familiar? [trips on a coffin and screams]
NFNos F
[holding a candelabra] Apologies for the darkness. Our power goes out when it's vining. [a swarm of bats swoop down and startles the family] We also have a little bat problem.
Lynn Sr.
Little? [chuckles] You know, on second thought…
UUla
[closes the front door and barricades it] No one leaves this house… [the family gasps in horror] without getting a goodnight sleep.
[Slaps his face] "Get a hold of yourself, man! He's GONE!"
Lynn Sr.
[groans] "I guess I'll have to start over. Luan, can you tell your uncle to be more careful with his weights?"
[Luan turns to Uncle Lance who's above the restaurant]
[shouting to Uncle Lance with her head tilted back] "UNCLE LANCE!!! CAN YOU BE MORE CAREFUL WITH YOUR WEIGHTS?!"
[pokes his head through the hole when he heard her] "Whoa, whoops! Oh-ho! Gosh, sorry. I Guess I don't know my own strength, huh? JK, I do, and it's impressive."
[Lynn Sr. finds his brother doing high-knees on the bleachers at the football field, attempting to apologize to him for trying to sabotage his gym and deceiving him]
[annoyed] "Oh, joy. You found me."
Lynn Sr.
"Well, this is where you always came when you were mad as a kid. Wouldn't be that hard to find."
"Pfft, well, you can leave, okay, because I don't want to talk."
Lynn Sr.
"Lance, I'm sorry. [follows him] I-I should've told you the truth! But we were... [pants] getting along so well, I... I didn't... [wheezes] didn't try to mess that up... [exhausted] Oh, vision...going...blurry..." [sits down to catch his breath]
"Many years ago, I hereby might've remembered something incorrect if you folks here said a bit of it wasn't working out anymore. Your lying and sneaking around is what hurt the most. It was like a charley horse, but in my heart!"
Lynn Sr.
"You're right. I acted like a ding-dang ding-dong. [holds his neck] Whoo, heh, pulse is not slowing down." [chuckles]
"Well, from now on, just be honest with me. If I can bench press four hundred pounds, I can handle the truth."
Lynn Sr.
"I will. [tears up] Promise."
[also tears up] "Well, bring it in, then, big guy!"
[Nighttime at the Loud House; someone is raiding in the kitchen and eating the contents, letting an empty can roll in the kitchen. Rita and Lynn Sr. peek out of their own bedroom.]
Lynn Sr.
[whispers to Rita] "Well, Did you hear that? The Midnight Snack Thief is back!" [he and Rita sneak over to the kitchen, but stopped by Lincoln and his sisters]
"Guys! Don't worry. I've set up a trap that should be going off right about..." [The sound of a net catching its prey is heard] "Now." [he and the others enter the kitchen] "Gotcha!" [turns on the lights, and the family is shocked to discover the Midnight Snack Thief is...] "Lori?!"
[sheepishly] "Oh! Hi, guys!" [the trap drops her to the floor, and rubs her head] "Ow."
"You're the one who's been taking our stuff?"
"Sweetie, if you needed all this, you could have just asked."
[gets up on her feet] "I didn't want to worry you guys. After paying Mr. Grouse's rent, I'm very broke. [groans] I've had no luck getting a job." [frowns; Luan excitedly steps up in front of her]
"Wait a minute! I've been working part-time at the Burnt Bean and I heard they're hiring a new bean-rista!" [gestures to her big sister]
"I blew my interview there when I first moved home, remember?"
"Well, lucky for you, I'm pretty tight with our manager, Beany Brewinski. If I put in a good word, you're going to get golden cuz you seem to get golden!"
[Lori accepts the offer Luan gave her. She gets excited.]
"So, I'd be making money AND we'd be working together? How fun would that be?"
[Two of them squeal in excitement; A few days later… Lori and Luan are driving on their sides to the Burnt Bean.]
[Elbows Lori] "Thanks for driving, CO-WORKER! Sure beats my old unicycle commute."
"Ah, It's literally the least I can do." [giggles and starts singing. Luan has an excited look.] ♪ SISTERS! Working together! ♪
[Also starts singing] ♪ Chasing those Burnt Bean DREAMS!!! ♪ [tilts her head back and lowers it back down.]
LLLuan and Lori
[Singing together in harmony.] ♪ SISTERS! Working together! ♪
"Okay, everyone, Another time to go."
Lynn Sr.
"Ready for kids."
BBeany
Good morning, coffee crew! [Luan and Lori are in their barista outfits] Everyone have their seven cups of coffee? No? Just me! [chuckles] "Alright! I'm thrilled to announce the newest addition to the Burnt Bean team, Lori Loud! Let's give her a caf-hey!"
LPLuan and Paraag
"Caf-hey!"
[awkwardly] "Caf… hey!" [giggles]
BBeany
"Next order of bean-ness, I'm off to a conference in Beantown, so I'll be promoting our top bean-rista to manager while I'm gone. Say hello to your new bean boss… Luan!"
[Lori and Paraag gasp excitedly]
"Wowee! I shan't be there to let you down because I don't need to let you down and I won't be there to let you down because I don't need to let you down, Beany!"
BBeany
"I know you won't! I'm trusting you to keep the bean dream alive!" [Leaves] "Toodles!"
"You deserve this, Luan."
"Aww! I couldn't have done it without you, Paraag. We make a good blend!" [They giggle]
"Yeah, congrats! I had no idea you were such a talented barista."
"Awww! Thanks! I hope you're okay with this. I know you didn't try to plan on working for your little favorite sister."
"Are you kidding? I'm totally okay. Just think of me as another employee. No playing favorites."
[On the drive home from the Burnt Bean…]
[Happily singing] ♪ SISTERS! Working together! Chasing those Burnt Bean DREAMS!!! ♪ [tilts her head back again as Lori growls]
[Rita and Lynn Sr. prepare to leave. Luan and Lori enter the house.]
"Hi girls. We're off on our date night."
Lynn Sr.
"We're trying that new place, Mitch's Massage and Macaroni. I'm gonna get the tissue with meatballs."
"Lori, you probably want to go back to your apartment, So Leni, you're in charge until we get back."
[Leni walks by Luan, and Lori, who knows how to get back at Luan.]
"Ooh! Actually, I'm in no hurry. I love to babysit! I bet Leni wants to go!"
"Foot massage with fettuccine, here I come!" [She leaves as Lynn Sr. and Rita watch in confusion.]
Lynn Sr.
"I'm sorry, so she's with us now?" [He and Rita leave.]
"Hear that everyone? I'm in charge!" [Luan stares at her in confusion.]
Lynn Sr.
[knocks on Lynn and Lucy's door, holding the salami and cheese while panting from running up and down the stairs; tiredly] LJ, can I please have the milk and butter? [Lynn hands him over the milk and butter] And could you put back the salami and cheese?
LLynn
Thanks, Dad. Sorry about all those trips up and down the stairs.
Lynn Sr.
Ah, it's okay. It's only my 85th or 86th time up here this morning. [heads downstairs] Whew. [realizes] Aw, no. I forgot the eggs.
LLynn
[off-screen] I gotcha. Heads up!
The Loud House · 632 quotes
