Sophia Petrillo quotes from The Golden Girls

Sophia

Dorothy, where I come from you learn never to turn your back on family! NEVER! When your crazy cousin Nunzio started living with his pet goat, did the family turn their back on him? No. And after a couple of nights neither did the goat.

Sophia

You know, I hate getting old. You always seem to be losing something. First, it's your eyesight. Then people are telling you to turn down the TV set when you can barely hear it, and you could live with that. But this, they're trying to take something from me that I just won't give. I can't let this happen, Dorothy. I can't lose my Sal, not again.

Sophia

[in the bookstore] If you need me, I'll be in the "Bitter Children of Celebrities" section.

Sophia

[about Stan] It means that ever since he made a fortune on that baked potato opener, he's been coming onto you like Gang Busters and I don't like it. Not that I've ever actually seen Gang Busters. But I did see Ghostbusters, I didn't like that either. I mean, they couldn't give the black guy one funny line? And how about that sequel!

Sophia

[posing as Blanche's grandmother] Well, mercy me! Looks like my little magnolia just turned into a big ho.

Sophia

[on Rose and Bingo] Oh, great. We've gotta live with a sad-eyed, hyperactive nuisance with the intelligence of a squeaky toy. And now she's got a dog!

Sophia

[to Clayton and Doug] So, Butch, Sundance? Who's gonna throw the bouquet?

Sophia

And when there is no trust, there is no family. You marry this man, and we're no longer family. You do this, you are out of my life forever.

Sophia

You give that ring back and that's my final word! [Sophia comes back] No. You'll pawn the ring. That's my final word!

Sophia

[to Stanley] If you hurt her again I'll make you miserable for the rest of my life, and if I lay off meat and dairy that could be as much as five years!

Sophia

[narrating the play, with Rose acting out Henny Penny's actions] Once upon a time, on a beautiful spring day, Henny Penny was waking up from a nap under an oak tree, when an acorn fell from the tree and hit her on the head. [fake paper acorn hits Rose on the head] Funny, when I was a little girl in Sicily and they told this story, it was a safe that fell on her head.

Sophia

[backing against the front door after Dorothy leaves, and grinning wickedly at Blanche] Fasten your seat belt, slut-puppy! This ain't gonna be no cakewalk!

Sophia

[Waving the Pope's ring over a glass of water on the living room table] WINE!

Sophia

Worth a shot.

Sophia

Isn't it obvious? They put in ad in the paper to lure an unsuspecting cutie like me into their web of sex games! They want me to be their love slave!

Sophia

I don't like you being taken advantage of by some guy out of town. At least when Blanche does it it's good for tourism.