The Golden Girls · Season 6, Episode 16
“There Goes the Bride” · Season 6, Episode 16
In this episode: Dorothy Zbornak (7), Sophia Petrillo (6), Rose Nylund (5), Blanche Devereaux (4), Stan (1)
Maybe you ought to take a different approach with [Sophia], Dorothy, you know, a more traditional one?
Like what?
Uh...I don't know, like, set up a meeting, have Stan ask for your hand, you know, in an Italian sort of way.
What do you want me to do, go in, bow my head, kiss her ring? Hey, you know something that just might work, you know, she thinks of herself as the Godfather, I'll just make her an offer that she can't remember.
Eat your potato.
Oh honey, I know it's a very important vegetable to you but I'm really stuffed.
Then stick your finger in it.
Stanley, you pig!
Come on, I don't ask much.
Oh all right, but we're gonna get you a hobby. [Sticks her finger in the potato] There's something hard in here... it's a... it's a... it's a scalding hot ring! [sticks her hand in the water pitcher to cool it off] Oh, Stan, it's beautiful.
And when there is no trust, there is no family. You marry this man, and we're no longer family. You do this, you are out of my life forever.
The stripper used to be a cop and the cop always wanted to be a dancer. Now they're wearing each others' hats and it's getting really weird.
You give that ring back and that's my final word! [Sophia comes back] No. You'll pawn the ring. That's my final word!
[to Blanche] Everybody who's come has been too young, too pretty, too thin, it's like you want to be surrounded by women who have absolutely no sex appeal.
[Rose and Dorothy connect the dots]
You think we're dogs, don't you?
[barking doorbell sounds]
Now that is just too eerie.
I was just wondering the other day 'why doesn't our doorbell bark?'
Probably because we didn't have a bark bell.
You really expect this to scare Myra away?
Oh sure, look at the box, see the burglar running from the house?
And he's saying "YIKES!"
[bell rings again, the dogs bark, Sophia runs out of the kitchen]
The dogs are on my trail again, through the river, run through the river.
Ma, that's an alarm Rose put up to scare people away.
It'll never work.
You'll need two new roommates, Ma will be moving in with us.
No, I won't.
You can't afford to stay here alone.
Blanche is letting me keep my room and I have an interview at McDonald's today, if I can see over the counter, I'm their new fry girl.
[to Stanley] If you hurt her again I'll make you miserable for the rest of my life, and if I lay off meat and dairy that could be as much as five years!
I had an outdoor wedding. February 12th, I'll never forget...I had the most beautiful white flannel wedding dress, it even had feet sewn in.
[to Blanche, about Rose] Crazy or stupid?
We think it's a mix.
[to Sophia] Let me tell you about a lesson I learned when I was a little girl in St. Olaf. If you hold a bird gently, the bird will stay, but if you squeeze the bird, his eyes will bug out. [Sophia stares at Rose blankly; Blanche, listening off to the side, looks pained] And Mr. Pet Shop Owner gets very huffy and he won't let you touch the birds anymore. And the mice, he won't even let you...
[hurrying over] ROOOOOOSE... what is eight times six? [Rose begins counting with her fingers.] Okay, now that we have a few minutes... I think Rose made two very good points. One, not all psychotics are dangerous; and two, honey, you have to let go. Dorothy's capable of making her own decisions. Does any of this make any sense to you, Sophia?
Not completely. I still think Rose has the capacity to kill. [Walks away]
[Realizes Rose is still counting] Oh Rose, sorry honey, pencils down.
I could've used a pencil?
Mail call. [Hands Rose a letter] Here you go Rose.
What if it's from Myra?
I'm sure it's not.
Well what if it is? What if it's got a big, black spider that's gonna jump out and attack me the minute I open it!
[Takes the letter, throws it on the floor and starts jumping on it. Hands the letter back to Rose.] There you go.
You're wise. You're just, wise.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Golden Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
