[backing against the front door after Dorothy leaves, and grinning wickedly at Blanche] Fasten your seat belt, slut-puppy! This ain't gonna be no cakewalk!
“Ro$e Love$ Mile$” · Season 7, Episode 9
In this episode: Blanche Devereaux (4), Rose Nylund (3), Sophia Petrillo (1)
Oh, I just wish Sophia were my mother... then I could put her in Shady Pines.
[on her idea to have Rose "cheat on" Miles] I have been giving it some serious thought, and I finally have come up with the perfect solution for your very sensitive problem with Miles.
What?
Cheat on him.
I can't cheat on Miles!
Well, maybe "cheat" isn't quite the right word. Just think of it as one night out with my rich friends from Texas.
Well, why isn't that cheating?
'Cause you're not gonna get caught. Come on, Rose, just think about it: a delicious dinner at an elegant restaurant, at night...
[pausing] You mean no coupons, Blanche?
No coupons, Rose.
Chefs who don't wear pirate hats?
I don't think so.
And he'll pay for everything, I don't have to leave the tip?!
That's right!
[singing happily] I'm gonna cheat on Mi-iles, I'm gonna cheat on Mi-iles!
[on her problems with Miles] Lately he's gotten, I don't know, really tight, and I hate it!
Oh? Well, I'm just the opposite. I love a tight man. A tight man with cast-iron pecs... thighs that could choke a bear... and a butt you could eat breakfast off of... then the two of us would... [pauses briefly, snaps back to reality] Rose, when did you get in?
Blanche, I've been here the whole time! I was telling you about Miles being tight!
Oh, I love a tight man! A tight man with cast-iron pecs... thighs that could---
No, tight with money! He's cheap!
Oh - tight with money? Dump him.
I feel so terrible about last night. I might have thrown away the perfect relationship, and for what?
Well, it's your own fault for cheating on Miles!
Blanche, it was your idea!
It's the execution, Rose. I said don't get caught.
I don't know what I'm going to do. What if he doesn't come back? What if I've lost him? What if I turn into a lonely old spinster and never find love again?
[laughs, engrossed in the funny pages] Oh, look! Garfield caught a fish!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Golden Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.