Dorothy, where I come from you learn never to turn your back on family! NEVER! When your crazy cousin Nunzio started living with his pet goat, did the family turn their back on him? No. And after a couple of nights neither did the goat.
“All That Jazz” · Season 5, Episode 9
In this episode: Dorothy Zbornak (4), Blanche Devereaux (3), Rose Nylund (3), Sophia Petrillo (2)
[Talking about raising children] The hardest part for me was explaining to my Kirstin the difference between boys and girls. I knew the time had come but I kept putting it off. Finally I decided it was time to take the bull by the horns.
So you told her?
No - I took the bull by the horns, turned him around and showed her what makes a bull a bull.
You are kidding, Rose?
No! That's how my mother taught me.
Honey, didn't that give you a false impression about...what a man would look like?
It sure did! Can you imagine my surprise on my wedding night with Charlie? [Blanche guffaws] Boy, that bull would have been jealous.
[Rose is upset about work and Dorothy is upset after a falling out with her son Michael] Now look - Rose, stop whining! You know that you're going to have to speak to your boss about your workload. Wallowing in self pity is not going to help!
[walking in] How are you feeling, Dorothy?
[voice breaking] My life is falling apart and now Rose is bothering me!
Dorothy, I'm sorry I bothered you.
I'm sorry I snapped at you, Rose. It's just that I am upset. I AM VERY UPSET!
Are you upset because you don't know what to do about Michael?
No. I'm upset because I can't make any sense out of those commercials for "Obsession".
[about Michael] You just did what you had to!
Blanche, knowing that does not help! I am going crazy wondering where he is- I mean he could be sleeping under a pier for all I know, or in some flophouse or out on the street!
[walking in] Michael called; he's staying with Stan.
OH GOD, IT'S EVEN WORSE THAN I THOUGHT!
Dorothy, I know you've done the right thing. In the animal kingdom, the whole idea is to teach offspring to fend for themselves. Humans are the only ones who think it's their duty to care for children their entire lives.
You know Rose, sometimes you really say some wise things.
We're also the only species that use corn holders that look like corn on the cob when we eat corn on the cob.
Whoops, spoke too soon.
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