So when the waiter brought my order, he set down a big bowl of gazpacho right in front of me, and I said, "I ordered the consomme'." He said, "A hot number like you needs something spicy." And I said, "I'll give you something spicy," and I poured the gazpacho right down his pants.
It's kinda like Mount Rushmore, except they sculpted four losers of Presidential elections in the mountainside. Let's see - there was Alf Landon, Wendell Willkie, and Adlai Stevenson and Adlai Stevenson.
Oh Rose, who CARES what it was! Now stop driving Ma crazy!
Rose
Dorothy, our director said in order to prepare for our roles we must become cats. [to Sophia] That's why I've been playing with your ball of yarn, and Blanche has been making those high-pitched squealing sounds in her room at night.
Dorothy, I spoke to your Aunt Regina in Sicily this morning to tell her about the wedding, she told me I'm in for some very bad luck unless I get the blessing of my eldest daughter or my child with the most facial hair. Either way, all arrows point to you.
Ma, you can't put a Sicilian curse on your eldest daughter if the mother is marrying a man under five-foot-seven! You're not the only one with Aunt Regina's phone number.
Dorothy, back where I come from, there were a lot of hillbilly boys with mutton-chop sideburns named Elvis. The light was bad in the bayou, it could've happened!
All right, all right! But I did once make love to an unattractive boy named Ernest and in the middle of it, I cried out Elvis's name. Technically I think that counts.
[unamused, steals pork chop] Dorothy, you're out of the club. Meeting is adjourned. Thank you, ladies. See you next week. [other members depart] Well, I hope you're not too upset over this, Dorothy.
I've just been thrown out of an unauthorized Elvis fan club. I'll try to pick up the pieces and go on with my life. I mean, there must be a support group for people like me.
Rose
We're sorry, Dorothy, but the bylaws clearly state that any derogatory remarks about the King are grounds for immediate expulsion.
Maybe a little, but I'll tell you the truth - I really think I'm over the worst part of it.
Rose
That's great, I'm really proud of you. You think you'd miss that feeling you get with that first puff, that feeling of relaxation when you hold it in and then sheer exhilaration when you exhale smoke...
[Dorothy takes a deep breath, holds it in and then exhales slowly as though she were taking a puff of a cigarette.]
[Rose hands Dorothy the large saucepan. Dorothy takes the saucepan, puts it over Rose's head, and begins to beat on it repeatedly with her wooden spoon.]
You know, you really have to give Max and Sophia credit. This business was their dream, and they're going after it. I just wish I'd done that with my dream.
The Golden Girls · 1,009 quotes
Rose
