Rose Nylund quotes from The Golden Girls

Dorothy

[trying to convince the bodyguard at the thrift shop to hand over the aviator jacket with the winning lottery ticket inside] Look, if you don't mind, I would like to see this Michael.

You and the rest of Miami! Sorry, the entire engagement is SOLD OUT! Michael! [tosses jacket over the heads of the other bodyguards and into the clutches of a person wearing a black sequined glove; the bodyguards leave]

Blanche

OH! Do you know who that is?!

Sophia

Sure! It's the guy from the Pepsi commercials!

Rose

Pepsi commercial? ... Michael? ... Oh my God, that's Michael J. Fox!!!

Rose

[after the girls lose the auction for the aviator jacket] I guess now I'll never get to fly on the Concord!

Blanche

And I'll never get to buy that emerald pendant to dangle between my perky bosoms.

Sophia

And I'll never get to buy perky bosoms.

Rose

Tell her, Clayton.

Clayton

I will, Rose.

Blanche

Tell me what?

Clayton

Well, I ran into Rose in the park and...

Blanche

And?

Clayton

And we had a long talk and....

Blanche

And?

Clayton

And....we slept together tonight.

Blanche

Rose, honey, there's something I have to say to you. It's just two little words but, they are the hardest two little words in all the whole world for me to say.

Rose

"Not tonight"?

Clayton

I shouldn't have got you mixed up in all this. It's just so hard to tell Blanche the truth.

Rose

Clayton, you're selling your sister short. Now at times Blanche can be very understanding and compassionate, and forgiving.

Blanche

Get away from my baby brother you cradle snatchin', empty headed, two-faced dummy!

Rose

And then at other times she can be a real bitch.

Blanche

Who's that at the door?

Rose

It's me, Blanche.

Blanche

The other side!

Blanche

Any word on Sophia?

Dorothy

None. Oh, I hate waiting.

Blanche

I hate hospitals.

Rose

I hate when the people put each other down on Love Connection.

Dorothy

Stan came by and stayed with me. Brought me food, held me. Showed me that special part of himself.

Rose

Right there in the waiting room?

Rose

Blanche, we can't let Dorothy ruin Stan and Katherine's wedding. I mean, it's selfish, it's adolescent and it'd put a real cramp in their honeymoon.

Blanche

Rose!

Rose

[continuing] For somebody who's supposed to be so smart, Dorothy's acting like a real goober!

Blanche

Rose...

Rose

And don't think I won't be able to say that right to her face. 'Course, I'd have to stand on a chair!

Rose

It's her, isn't it?

Stan

Will you girls excuse me, my girdle is killing me.

Rose

He's wearing a girdle?

Dorothy

And padded shoulder.

Blanche

And knowing him, a sock in his crotch.

You're idiots. The only humor here is my own. It's your great stupidity. This picture no more echos Monet than any of you echo a beauty queen, and you will waste no more of my time. [turns and leaves]

Rose

Oh yeah?!

Dorothy

Go easy on him Rose.

[about the damaged roof] Yeah, I could patch it up for you, but that won't stop more leaks when it rains again.

Rose

What are you trying to say, Sid?

Really? You couldn't follow that?

Dorothy

She has trouble following Murder, She Wrote.

Sophia

[entering the house with the football team] Make way for the victors!

Rose

You won the big game?

Sophia

[sarcastically] No Rose, we lost and we all changed our names to Victor.

Rose

[to Dorothy, Blanche and Sophia] Were you three listening to our conversation?!

Dorothy

Absolutely not. You know we would never eavesdrop.

Sophia

They made me do it. When I turn my hearing-aid up to ten, I can hear a canary break wind in Lauderdale!

Rose

[on Ernie] But I still can't understand why he hasn't even approached the subject of... you know... sex. I mean, not that I'm in a hurry or anything, but we have been dating awhile.

Blanche

Honey, sometimes you have to stoke a man's fire a little bit.

Sophia

Words of wisdom from the human torch.