Kitty Katswell quotes from T.U.F.F. Puppy

Chameleon

[disguised as Kitty's mother] When are you going to get married? Why don't you call me on my birthday?! Why can't you be more like your sister?!

Kitty

My sister's in jail!

Chameleon

Yes, but she used her one phone to call me on my birthday!

Kitty

[with her face turning red of fury] STOP COMPARING ME TO HER! I'M PRETTY, TOO!!

Chameleon

Actually, your shoulders are a little large, and we all know why you always wear gloves.

Kitty

Wow. Dudley is a terrible chief. Luckily, all of the city's worst villains are out of commission.

Are they in jail?

Kitty

No, they're at an evil softball tournament in Petsburgh.

Snaptrap

I stole home! Seriously, I stole it. I also swiped the ref's watch. Start the car, Larry!

Well, if all the bad guys are out there playing softball, then there's nothing to worry about.

Meerkat

It's time to give Petropolis something to worry about! [holding a meeting in a diner with Wanna-Bee, Fiddler Crab, and Escape Goat] I call to order the first meeting of the Fiendish League of Potential Perpetrators: "F.L.O.P.P.!" Role call! Meerkat, oh that's me. And I'll have you know I'm no mere cat, I'm the MEERKAT! Get it, Mere Cat. [pulls out a sign with "Mere Cat" at the top and "Meerkat" at the bottom] See the difference? You kinda have to write it down. [throws the sign away] Moving on… Wanna-Bee?

Wanna-Bee

I'm here and I wanna be bad!

Meerkat

Oooh, I like your moxie. Missing Lynx, eh missing as usual. Fiddler Crab? [Fiddler Crab plays a fiddle note on his violin but one of the strings snap and hit him in the eye] Oh, that's a snappy ditty. Escape Goat?

Escape Goat

I'm here, and I'm forming my greatest escape yet! Has anyone seen a tiny key?!

Meerkat

Time to brainstorm a fiendish plan!

Wanna-Bee

Yeah! Let's do something super bad! [falls into the creamer]

Meerkat

Oh, dear, he's fallen in the creamer! Someone throw him a swizzle stick!

Escape Goat

Here's an evil plan. Why don't we dine and dash? Ha-ha!

Meerkat

Ooh, that's super evil! Let's do it!

Wolf Spitzer

Wolf Spitzer here with beloved children's TV host, and convicted felon, Quacky the Duck. We're at the grand opening of Quacky's new restaurant: Quack in the Box.

Quacky

Hey, kids! You're gonna love what's on the menu. It's better than prison food and I should know.

I'm only gonna say this once, "Eat here or else!"

Quacky

Okay, Sharing Moose. Save that charm for the drive-thru window.

Chief

Quacky's got a restaurant? Let's hurry and beat the crowd!

Looks like the Sharing Moose is already… [stutters] doing that.

I said get in line, grandma!

Kitty

[speechless] I can't believe you guys are buying this. Do I need to remind you that Quacky tied me and Dudley to a rocket and fired us into space?

Kitty, you have to learn to forgive and forget.

Kitty

Really? I bet Dudley hasn't forgiven or forgotten.

Dudley

KITTY! DID YOU SEE ME ON TV?!

Kitty

I can't believe you're still into Quacky. He's a deranged lunatic who tried to annihilate us. Ooh! The Math Moth! He taught me long division and how to eat a wool sweater.

Boy, Quacky's food really hits the spot. It's just the right blend of farming pesticides and irradiated artificial meat filler.

Chief

Whoa, Agent Puppy! Is that the Phonics Fox? You know, I've always had a crush on her. How do I look?

Uh, Chief, you know she's not real.

Chief

Just because she's a lifeless plastic toy doesn't mean she's not real.

That's exactly what it means. Looks like somebody needs to talk to the Sanity Seagull.

Oh, you are so… [stutters] found out, Agent Puppy!

Kitty

We knew you were lying all along, Dudley. So we thought we'd teach you a lesson.

Chief

Dr. Fineberg agreed to be an evil supervillain to help us out.

Dudley

[in Kitty's body after using Keswick's Brain Switcher to switch his brain with hers] (Yes!) It worked! Now as far as anyone knows, I'm Kitty. And that's just me asleep on the floor again. Now to make a date with Jack. [calls Jack's number; badly imitating Kitty] Hi, Jack. It's Kitty. I got your message.

Kitty, what's wrong with your voice?

Uh, I have a fur ball in my throat, because I'm a cat, and not a dog with my brain inside a cat's body. [laughs nervously] Wanna meet for lunch?

Love to. Meet me at 12:00 at our Our Old Hangout.

Uh… I don't remember where that is, and not because I'm just pretending to be Kitty and don't know you that well. [laughs nervously again]

Actually, we've never been there before. "Our Old Hangout" is the name of a new restaurant on main street. I'll see you there.

Beware Jack Rabbit. There's a new Kitty in town, and her name is Dumpley Puppy! [falls to the floor] Aah! I twisted my ankle! [Later shows up at Our Old Hangout restaurant where Jack is waiting] Hi, Jackie-poo! [accidentally trips on him while having trouble walking in Kitty's boots] Sorry, I'm late. I had to put on my lady face. [giggles]

Kitty, It's good to see you. I thought about you a lot while I was in the slammer.

Well, you deserved to be in jail. [slaps Jack in the face]

[points to his convertible car outside] Actually, The slammer is my high powered European sports car. It's an XJ-5 Convertible.

Yeah? Well, your fancy car doesn't impress me. I only came here to tell you, I want nothing to do with you! Oh, and to do this! [splashes a glass of water in Jack's face] And this! [squirts ketchup in his face] And maybe this too! [pushes a stick of butter on his forehead] And don't bother wiping your face, 'cause I never want to see it again!

Just so you know, after my free lunch, free dessert, and free to-go order, I never wanna see you again!

Oh, I beg you, Kitty. Spend the day with me. [takes out his credit card] I'll take you anywhere you wish to go.

Anywhere?

Kitty

[in Dudley's body] Dudley's gotta be here. He eats every meal at Mr. Wong's all-you-can-eat buffet.

Dudley Puppy! I told you to never come back! You paid $6.95 and ate $10,000 worth of food!

I did?

And what you didn't eat, you stuffed in your shirt for later!

Oh! Eww!

You're gonna pay, one way or another!

[on the phone] I'd like to order a dune buggy, and a pot roast the size of a dune buggy.

Dudley, have you gone crazy?! Why did you trade brians with me?

Keep your shirt on! I don't want my Chinese noodles to fall out. [Kitty groans angrily at him] Look, I know you're mad, but I did it to protect you from Jack Rabbit. I was afraid he'd try and do something bad to you again. But as it turns out, he's an awesome guy who just left his sunglasses in the top secret T.U.F.F. computer room.

What?! Jack's back?! Dudley, he used his charms to trick you!

Actually, he used it to buy me a dune buggy. I love him, Kitty!

Snaptrap

[in Kitty's body after switching brains with him] Wow! I can get even bigger tips now!

Dudley

Hi-YAH! [punches Snaptrap in the nose, knocking him out] Take that, Snaptrap! [to Kitty] Sorry, Kitty. I think I broke your nose.

[comes out of the top secret computer room] The list is on this flash drive, Snaptrap.

Kitty

[imitating Snaptrap while in his body] Yeah. That's who I am. Snaptrap and not a girl cat in a really gross rat's body. Are there noodles in my shirt? Do all guys do this?

[tosses the flash drive in "Snaptrap's" hands] You've got your list. Now, give me my money.

Kitty

No chance, Jack. 'Cause I'm not really Snaptrap. [picks up the Brain Switcher; in normal voice] I'm Kitty Katswell!

Dudley Puppy, you crossed the Wong guy! Get it? 'Cause my name is Wong.

Kitty

You know, this is a secret agency. We really should lock the door.

Kitty

That chocolate volcano is gonna blow! We're going to get buried in hot fudge!

Dudley

[excitedly] Yay, hot fudge! [the fudge lands on his nose and burns him; painfully] OW, HOT FUDGE!

Kitty

Keep working, Keswick. Here's a piece of pizza. [slides a slice of pizza under the door]

I CAN'T REACH THE PIZZA! Oh, [stuttering] SURE! I guess I'll just STARVE!!

Wolf Spitzer

Wolf Spitzer here for Access Hollywolf. I'm with former kid show host and convicted felon, Quacky the Duck, and his scary partner, the Sharing Moose. They are out of prison and making their first feature film.

Quacky

Which is definitely a real movie, and not a villainy cover up for heinous crimes.

That's right. I spent a year in solitary writing the screenplay.

Quacky

Seriously? You actually wrote a real screenplay?

It's a touch in celebration of life. And if the actors mess it up, they will never forget the taste of my FIST!

Wolf Spitzer

And who are these lucky actors of what you speak?

Quacky

Well, Wolf, we cast three local suckers, I mean, local citizens in the starring roles.

Kitty

[turns off the screen] What kind of idiots would wanna star in a Quacky the Duck movie?

Dudley

KITTY, WE'RE STARRING IN A QUACKY THE DUCK MOVIE!

Peg

What are you kids whispering about?

Kitty

Aah! Peg! I didn't know you were coming.