T.U.F.F. Puppy quotes

Kitty

[disguised as a tour guide] And here's Petropolis Museum's most famous possession, the Kruger Rat.

[amazed] Oooh!

Kitty

Made of rare ratamantium, legend says that when the full moon hits its emerald eyes, they beam a hypnotic ray that controls the minds of rats.

Snaptrap

[dropping in from the ceiling] Precisely why I'm stealing it!

Who are you?

Snaptrap

Who am I? Simply the most EVIL mind in all of Petropolis!

Oh, you, uh, Dr. Destruction?

Snaptrap

What?! No!

You're the Kanga-rooster. The bouncing bird who lays the exploding eggs!

Snaptrap

[sighs in annoyance] I'm Verminious Snaptrap! Dirty rat, and leader of the Diabolical Order of Mayhem! [holds up the D.O.O.M. sign]

Never heard of you.

Snaptrap

Well, you will, for I will control Petropolis, now that I have the Kruger Rat! [knocks off the glass case and steals the artifact]

Kitty

Think again, Snaptrap! [rips off her disguise and makes a fighting pose] Hyah!

Snaptrap

Well, if it isn't special T.U.F.F. Agent Kitty Katswell! [grabs a sword from a suit of rat armor] Ready to lose one of your, nine lives?!

Kitty

I'd rather use my ten claws!

Dudley

Always tell the truth, never take anything that doesn't belong to you, and never chew your butt in public! [chews his butt]

Peg

Two out of three. Not bad.

Dudley

[to Snaptrap] Yo, rat dude. You have something that doesn't belong to you.

Chief

Okay, Keswick. What's up with the dog?

His name is Dudley Puppy, Chief. He's the perfect combination of every breed of dog known to man. The fleet feet of a Greyhound, the sensitive nose of a… [stutters] Bloodhound, with the bravery of a German… [stutters again] Shepherd.

Kitty

We're secret agents, butt-munch, not superheroes. I speak 120 dialects fluently, mastered all forms of martial arts, and my claws are registered as lethal weapons.

Dudley

Maybe you should register YOUR BREATH!

Careful, Kitty, he's part-Chinese… [stutters] Fighting Dog.

Dudley

Beef with broccoli! [flicks Kitty in the nose] Orange chicken!

Dudley

[sees a note tied to the rock] Hey, there's a note tied to it. [reading the note] "Dearest Kitty, you ruined my life by putting me in prison. But I've escaped, and I'm going to make you pay! Kindest regards, The Cham-ah-lee-on." Who's the Cham-ah-lee-on?

Uh, it's pronounced "Chameleon." He's a criminal genius and a… [stutters] master of disguise.

Kitty

Stop using me to hit people, Dudley! Or should I call you… THE IDIOT?! [bashes Dudley on the head with her fist]

Dudley

I still can't believe T.U.F.F. agents get to take vacations. Aren't we supposed to be protecting the world from evil?

Kitty

Don't worry, Dudley, T.U.F.F. and D.O.O.M. have a longstanding agreement to take a vacation in the last week of August.

Snaptrap

We're not taking a vacation!

[disappointed] Aww…

But, Snaptrap, I already booked D.O.O.M. timeshare in Acapulco. I wanted to go snorkeling.

Snaptrap

You can snorkel in the shark tank, Larry!

Snaptrap

Mmm! What are these delicious crumbly things?

[takes out blue cheese] Blue cheese, boss.

Snaptrap

Waaah! [he starts puffing up]

Come to think of it, aren't you allergic to cheese?

Snaptrap

Well, thank you, Captain Obvious!

Chief

[sighs] This is the greatest vacation ever. [his monokini floats] Okay, now it's weird.

Chief

[enters T.U.F.F. Headquarters and sees all filed papers piled everywhere and is in a complete wreck] What in blazes?! Have we been attacked by D.O.O.M.?!

Kitty

No, Chief. We're just a little disorganized since we lost our secretary.

Chief

The secretary quit?!

No, we literally lost her. She took a 10-minute break, stuff piled up, and we never… [stutters] saw her again. Rosemary, if you can hear us, shoot up a flare!

Chief

This is a nightmare! We've gotta hire a new secretary! (But who?)

Chameleon

So, they need a new secretary, hmm? Now I have the perfect cover to get into T.U.F.F.! [disguises himself as a female French poodle] I am now Fifi Ouioui! French poodle secretary! I'll need a convincing French accent. [clears throat] Sacre bleu. Croissant. Eiffel Tower. Perfect! What's not so perfect is that French poodles can't stick to walls! [falls and hits the ground] As they say in France, ow là là!"

Kitty

Oh, my gosh. You have a crush on her, don't you?

Dudley

What?! No.

Kitty

Oh, yes, you do. You wuv her.

Dudley

I don't "wuv" her. Just because she's the most gorgeous, amazing, French-- KITTY, I WUV HER! What do I do?! You gotta help me!

Chief

[as he and all the T.U.F.F. agents evacuate the building] I love it when we evacuate!

Chameleon

[transforms back into himself while disguised as a salad dressing bottle; cackles] I fooled them all! Now to make my escape! [presses his hand on the scanner and it buzzes, trapping him in the elevator] Whoops. I forgot about the scanner!

Chief

Yay! We get to evacuate again!

Kitty

Agent Puppy, we've got trouble. Snaptrap's being released from prison today. [holds up a newspaper of Snaptrap's prison release with the headline reading: "Snaptrap Released!"]

Dudley

[looking at computer monitor, not noticing] Oh, yeah.

Kitty

Did you hear me? The most dangerous villain in Petropolis is free!

Dudley

[stands on his chair, wagging his tail while gazing at the monitor] Come to papa.

Kitty

Are you surfing meat again?

Dudley

Who, me? No. That would be insensitive to Agent Bossy.

Snaptrap

[in an elegant tuxedo] Greetings, Petropolis! It is I, Verminious Snaptrap!

Dudley

Whoa. Snaptrap's out of jail?! Why didn't you tell me?!

Snaptrap

My lengthy stay in prison has taught me that crime doesn't pay! I also went a bit cuckoo and made a little friend out of soap. [holds up a bar of soap with a feminine face carved into it] Say hello to Vivian!

[unenthusiastically] Hello, Vivian.