Bird Brain quotes from T.U.F.F. Puppy

Bird Brain

Minions, fetch me a glass of nectar. Wait, I don't have minions. I have a cleaning lady, Desiree, but she only comes on Tuesdays.

Bird Brain

[to Snaptrap; annoyed] You are one dumb rat.

Peg

Let go of my bracelet, you crazy woodpecker!

Bird Brain

It's my bracelet and I'm a booby! How about I just let go of you?

Peg

[screams while falling] Dudley!

Peg

[as her son handcuffs Bird Brain while Kitty holds him] That'll teach you to mess with my son, he's a big time secret agent. And this is his lazy secretary, Mitzi.

Bird Brain

Oh, really, then I shall take a latte and a blitz.

Dudley

Make that two, Mitz.

Peg

Don't hold your breath.

Bird Brain

[laughs] Here we are at the First Annual Blue-Bottomed Booby Convention! I hope we can get a seat. It's going to be packed! [the convention center is completely empty as they enter] Or not. I thought there'd be blue-bottomed boobies everywhere!

Who?

Bird Brain

Boobies!

Where?

Bird Brain

Here, at the convention! Oh, Zippy, I'm so disappointed. And not just because my henchmen are idiots. It appears that I'm the only blue-bottomed booby, in existence!

Look on the bright side, boss, you can be the first in line at the buffet. [Bird Brain looks over to the buffet and see that Owl and Bat are already there] Or third.

Bird Brain

Save me some lox, Owl.

Who?

Bird Brain

Me!

Where?

Bird Brain

[jumps] At the buffet table! What I wouldn't give for a taser right now.

You know, boss, there is another advantage to being the only blue-bottomed booby.

Bird Brain

[holding phone and taser magazine] Keep talking. I'm on hold with the taser store.

If you're the only booby, then you're an endangered species.

Bird Brain

Not as endangered as those two if my credit cards approved.

No, boss, I mean you're protected. You can be as evil as you want and no one can do a thing to stop you.

Bird Brain

Wait a minute. Hold the phone!

Are you getting an idea?

Bird Brain

No, I want you to hold the phone. [hands cellphone to Zippy, she falls to the ground under its weight] This is wonderful! I'm above the law! I love being the only booby!

[appears] Greetings, fellow booby! [inexplicably finds himself tied to a rocket by Bird Brain]

Bird Brain

Hello, and goodbye! After a brief scare, I'm once again the only blue-bottomed booby! Now, to hatch my most diabolical plan ever… right after I hit the buffet table and build my own sundae.

Bird Brain

Well played, Agent Puppy. But I knew it was you all along.

Snaptrap

Yeah, that's why you led that heroic charge into the Ancient Greek trash compactor.

Chameleon

Quit fighting and let's make a run for it!

Kitty

Dudley, it's time to take out the trash!

Chameleon

Ooh, I hope we can get the same cell. Then we'll really get to bond. Can I get a "team evil?"

Bird Brain

No, please! Put me in solitary!

Snaptrap

Attention T.U.F.F., soon there won't be candy for anyone.

Bird Brain

Because we're stealing it. If you leave that part out, it's confusing.

Chameleon

It was clear to me.

Bird Brain

That's because you know the plan. The T.U.F.F. agents don't!

Snaptrap

Fellas, as much as I hate you two, I think we should put out a United Front for the good guys.

Bird Brain

And I think you should be more clear when you call in a threat!

Chameleon

Oh, come on. United Front, group hug.

Snaptrap

Villains out! Stop touching me, weirdo.

Bird Brain

Oh, no! Agent Puppy's awake! I blame you two numbskulls. You haven't done anything right since we moved in together.

Snaptrap

Excuse me, but we've been carrying your booby butt since day one. The Chameleon does all the cooking, and I threaten to shoot the pool man so he wouldn't overcharge us.

Bird Brain

We do not have a pool man.

Snaptrap

Pool man, little kid looking for a lost baseball. The point is, I pull my weight!

Chameleon

Now, now. Let's not blame each other. I've got another plan to delay Agent Puppy.

Snaptrap

See? Why can't you be more like The Chameleon?

Chameleon

[hugs Snaptrap] Aww, that's sweet.

Snaptrap

Don't touch me, weirdo.

Bird Brain

Giant Hot Dog to base. I'm in position and feeling totally humiliated.

Snaptrap

[through walkie-talkie] Pipe down and act delicious.

Bird Brain

Time for my plan, which I'm calling the "not stupid" plan. [sees The Chameleon stuck in meatball form] [to Chameleon] Why are you still a meatball?

Chameleon

My transformation suit broke when Agent Puppy ran me over. This is bad. Charmaine hates Italian food.

Bird Brain

No one cares!

Snaptrap

As we were saying, before we were so rudely interrupted, you can't stop us because…

Chief

Yeah, yeah. We already know your stupid plan is legal.

Chameleon

We're also going to throw a book at the baby.

Bird Brain

We're not doing that.

Snaptrap

Bad guys out!

Bird Brain

Gather around, henchmen!

Who?

Bird Brain

You!

Where?

Bird Brain

Where do you think?! Around me! Duck! Don't duck, I was talking to the duck! [annoyingly facepalms himself] Holy cow. Not you, Holy Cow. Oh, now I've lost my train of thought. Oh, right! I've invented a new hideously diabolical weapon! I call it, the Lovey-Dovey-Kissy-Smoochy gun! I admit the name could be scarier.

How does it work, boss?

Bird Brain

It causes anyone I blast to fall madly in love with me!

Bird Brain, why are robbing the Brawny Booby? You always rob the Big-Bottomed Booby.

Bird Brain

Because Zippy, I've made a serum out of the Bird of Powerdise flower! Once I take it, I'll be young, handsome, and I'll feel out a muscle shirt like no booby's business! There may be some freaky side effects like: uncontrollable skipping, and the inability to pronounce the letter "R." But, blue bottoms up! [gulps down the serum and grows a full head of hair and a stylish muscular body] Now, look at me. I'm WIPPED! Oh, dear. I sound widiculous. No matter, I look like a gweek god! Hooway! [skips on inside] Evewybody out! This is a wobbewy! [all the other boobys are confused; sighs in frustration] A bugwugwy?! Just get out! [puts on a pair of skinny jeans] Oh, this is fantastic. Finally, I can get into skinny jeans without gweasing my waist with butter.

Snaptrap

Well, this is humiliating.

Bird Brain

You're telling me. Two respected thespians, such as ourselves, reduced to being beaten up by a girl?!

Snaptrap

No, I was talking about my hospital gown. It doesn't close in the back.

Bird Brain

We should give that Tammy a taste of her own medicine.

Snaptrap

Sorry, I'm gonna need all my medicine. She really kicked my butt. Which as I mentioned, it's the only part of me this robe isn't covering.

Bird Brain

Henchman, this skate-bird is just what I need to exact my revenge on the Owl Force Academy. Those hoity-toity hooters rejected my application.

Who?

Bird Brain

The Owl Force. Come on! Your brother's the captain. Remember? I asked you to put in a good word for me.