I still can't believe T.U.F.F. agents get to take vacations. Aren't we supposed to be protecting the world from evil?
Don't worry, Dudley, T.U.F.F. and D.O.O.M. have a longstanding agreement to take a vacation in the last week of August.
[Cut to D.O.O.M. Headquarters]
We're not taking a vacation!
OFOllie, Francisco, Larry and Skunk
[disappointed] Aww…
But, Snaptrap, I already booked D.O.O.M. timeshare in Acapulco. I wanted to go snorkeling.
You can snorkel in the shark tank, Larry!
FranciscoUh, boss, you're still in the mall.
Darn it! Larry, you forgot to put "Leave the mall" on my To Do list! Is there a shark tank in this mall?
Francisco
No. But, there's a cockroach in the dirty bathroom.
Larry, go stand in the dirty bathroom!
[Larry dreadfully obeys]
What's the temperature, Keswick?
112 degrees, sir. [his clothes burn off, only leaving him in his underwear] Perfectly… [stutters] survivable, unless you're made of soap.
[as Vivian melts] NO! Vivian! Now you'll never realize your dream of living in a fancy hotel men's room!
[aiming a net shooter at him] Cheer up, Snaptrap. Once you're back in jail, you'll have plenty of time to make another soap friend.
Think again, hater of muffins and sunshine! Get her, boys!
Francisco
[sitting in a water fountain with Larry, trying to cool off from the heat] It's too hot, boss.
Yuck! My mom packed me pimento loaf again. [to Ollie, threatening to trade with him] Trade with me or perish! [takes a bite of the sandwich] Oh, this is delicious! What is it?
[hesitantly] Grilled cheese on cheese bread.
What?! [shrieks] I'm horribly allergic to cheese! [swells up]
Francisco
Ha! A rat that's allergic to cheese! [he, Ollie, and Bad Dog all laugh]
[bangs his fist on the table] SILENCE! I'm aware of the irony.
I'm gonna use this invisibility helmet to get into the movies for free! [laughs manically]
[cockney accent] I don't mean to criticize, boss, but why not use the helmet for something a bit more villainous?
Francisco
Yeah, like sneaking into Petropolis prison and releasing all the most evil inmates.
MMurray (Larry)
As soon as the sun goes down, I'll plunge this city into darkness and chaos and rob Petropolis blind! Then we can finally afford our own lair!
Francisco
That'll be great! I'm sick of runnin' into Snaptrap's mom in the bathroom. [he and Murray (Larry) quiver in disgust]
Freeze, G.L.O.O.M. agents!
MMurray (Larry)
It's T.U.F.F. agent Kitty Katswell! Blast her with the fog machine! [Francisco mistakenly takes out the sewing machine] That's the sewing machine!
Come on, guys. Someone's gotta have a diabolical plan. What's the point of having a think tank if no one has any ideas?
I'm not sure this is a think tank, Snaptrap.
What are you talking about? We're thinking, and we're in a tank. Plus, I'm wearing a tank top. Now, somebody come up with an evil plan before we run out of air.
SSSnaptrap's Mom
[through speaker] Verminious! What did you do to my toe cream?
It's under your bunion cream, Mom! It's gross, guys. Her feet have more bumps than the surface of the moon.
SSSnaptrap's Mom
Verminious! How many stamps do I need to send an email?
Boy, mom's are the worst.
Francisco
Yeah, tell me about it. This one time I didn't clean up my room, and my mom tried to turn me into a pair of boots.
My mom was equally horrid. Her crumpets were dry and lumpy.
I love my mommy. She's cool. She always takes care of me when I get hurt.
I hope you have her on speed dial. Hey, all this mom talk gave me an idea for a diabolical plan. We'll build a giant space laser, point it at my house, and when my mom's looking up at it, I'll run away from home!
Or we could just send all the mom's in Petropolis to a deserted island.
Why would we reward them from being super annoying by taking them to a whimsical all you can eat dessert restaurant?
Not Dessert Island. A deserted island.
Ooh, I like it! All in favor of ridding Petropolis of all mom's, stand up. Hey, guys, what are we all doing in this tank?
We're in, Snaptrap! Time to get a new set of wheels.
Yeah, and as long as we're here, we might as well steal a whole car. But which one? The minivan has a DVD player and plenty of legroom for hostages. But the electric car is good for the stupid environment. And the engine's quiet, so our victims won't hear us coming.
Francisco
Eh, boss, you better make a decision fast. T.U.F.F. is probably on the way.
Back off, Francisco! I'm having trouble deciding. Let's see. Bucket seats, moonroof, or should we all just go out for breakfast pasta? [Ollie splashes Snaptrap] Thanks, Ollie. The cold water cleared my head. I'm going with the minivan, and breakfast pasta.
I already did. The water was ice cold.
[Dudley and Kitty serve the D.O.O.M. agents some waffles with Truth Syrup on them, making them all tell the truth]
These are delicious. Francisco, pass me more syrup.
Francisco
My name isn't really Francisco. It's Francesca. My mom wanted a girl. [realizes what he said] Wait, what am I saying?
Aw, that's okay, Francesca. I'm not really British. [in a French accent] I just faked the accent to sound smarter.
Something weird is happening. Suddenly I have the urge to tell Larry that I don't actually hate him. I'm only hard on him because I think he has the most potential to be evil.
And I have the urge to admit I've been putting black widows in your gym bag. [realizes what he said; freaking out] What's gotten into us?!
I just gave you truth syrup, and I didn't have to tell you because I can lie again. Keswick gave us the antidote-- Key Lie Pie!
T.U.F.F. Puppy · 225 quotes
