Quacky the Duck quotes from T.U.F.F. Puppy

Wolf Spitzer

Wolf Spitzer here with beloved children's TV host, and convicted felon, Quacky the Duck. We're at the grand opening of Quacky's new restaurant: Quack in the Box.

Quacky

Hey, kids! You're gonna love what's on the menu. It's better than prison food and I should know.

I'm only gonna say this once, "Eat here or else!"

Quacky

Okay, Sharing Moose. Save that charm for the drive-thru window.

Chief

Quacky's got a restaurant? Let's hurry and beat the crowd!

Looks like the Sharing Moose is already… [stutters] doing that.

I said get in line, grandma!

Kitty

[speechless] I can't believe you guys are buying this. Do I need to remind you that Quacky tied me and Dudley to a rocket and fired us into space?

Kitty, you have to learn to forgive and forget.

Kitty

Really? I bet Dudley hasn't forgiven or forgotten.

Wolf Spitzer

Quacky, isn't it a little coincidental that the T.U.F.F. agent who put you behind bars is the winner of your contest?

Quacky

Yeah, coincidental. That's what it is. Definitely not part of a sinister revenge plan that carved on a prison wall with a sharpened toothbrush.

Dudley

I WON! I WON! I STILL CAN'T BREATHE!

Quacky

Besides, Agent Puppy is my biggest fan and he'd do anything to make Quack in the Box a success.

You hear that, Wolf-man? [gets into Wolf Spitzer's face] Agent Puppy would do anything.

Dudley

I'd stop at nothing!

Well done, Quacky. Things are going just like we planned.

Quacky

Yeah! Once I activate those quacktion figures, they'll destroy every other fast food restaurant in Petropolis and make it look like Agent Puppy did it! [quickly realizes] Whoops! I said that over the drive-thru microphone.

[tosses the customer his meal and the customer drives away] Don't worry. I didn't put the stomach medicine in his sloppy meal. He'll never make it out of the parking lot.

[throws up and crashes] I'm gonna need an extra napkin!

Wolf Spitzer

Wolf Spitzer here for Access Hollywolf. I'm with former kid show host and convicted felon, Quacky the Duck, and his scary partner, the Sharing Moose. They are out of prison and making their first feature film.

Quacky

Which is definitely a real movie, and not a villainy cover up for heinous crimes.

That's right. I spent a year in solitary writing the screenplay.

Quacky

Seriously? You actually wrote a real screenplay?

It's a touch in celebration of life. And if the actors mess it up, they will never forget the taste of my FIST!

Wolf Spitzer

And who are these lucky actors of what you speak?

Quacky

Well, Wolf, we cast three local suckers, I mean, local citizens in the starring roles.

Kitty

[turns off the screen] What kind of idiots would wanna star in a Quacky the Duck movie?

Dudley

KITTY, WE'RE STARRING IN A QUACKY THE DUCK MOVIE!