[SpongeBob laughs as the cart falls through the floor. The Flying Dutchman leans over to hear. SpongeBob's laughter hits him hard again]
How can he still be laughing? I've never been so humiliated. I got to do something here.
Boy, Patrick, I wish all our friends could be here. They'd love this place! [laughs]
Friends! He's got friends. That's it! I know how to scare this guy. [laughs evilly as he unleashes his ghostly mist down from his ship into Bikini Bottom]
Sandy[gives candy to several trick-or-treaters] Happy Halloween! [the ghostly mist surrounds her and takes her soul from her body] What in Fort Worth...?
[Several trick-or-treaters run up to Mr. Krabs and Squidward, who are handing out candy]
TOTrick-Or-Treaters
Trick or treat!
[Suddenly, the Flying Dutchman's ghostly mist surrounds them and takes their souls from their bodies]
[The souls of Sandy, Mr. Krabs, and Squidward are being lifted in the air by the ghostly mist]
[The trick-or-treaters laugh and throw eggs and toilet paper at Squidward and Mr. Krabs' motionless bodies. Mr. Krabs growls in anger. Back inside the Flying Dutchman's ship, SpongeBob and Patrick are still riding the cart. Patrick is still afraid while SpongeBob continues to laugh, still thinking it's funny. SpongeBob stops laughing and sighs]
Sandy
[her soul is in one of the Flying Dutchman's cages] SpongeBob! Patrick! Help me!!!
[laughs] That almost looks like Sandy! [laughs]
[his and Plankton's souls are in two of the Flying Dutchman's cages] SpongeBob!
[his soul and Gary's are in two other cages] Help us!!!
[laughs] That almost looked like Mr. Krabs and Squidward and Gary and Plankton! [giggles] Funny! Oh, Patrick, this is hysterical! [laughs] Why aren't you laughing? [giggles until he notices Patrick's motionless body] Patrick, what's wrong with you?
[his soul suddenly appears in one of the Flying Dutchman's cages] Help me, SpongeBob! My body's butt itches!
Patrick, is this really happening? Hey, this isn't funny.
I was wrong, SpongeBob. Sometimes, scary equals scary!
[screams at Patrick's motionless body] Hm? [pulls out his chalkboard, erases the word "funny," and replaces it with "AHHH!"] Yup. I got the same answer. Scary equals "AHHHHH!!!".
Success! I knew that would get him!
[SpongeBob is finally convinced that scary doesn't equal funny at all and screams in terror. His skeleton tears itself out of his body and runs off. SpongeBob's skin and skeleton run out of the ship. SpongeBob's skeleton and skin fall to the ground and attempt to run]
SSSpongeBob's Skeleton
That's the scariest thing I ever saw in my life!
SSSpongeBob's Skin
Me too! But we gotta go back.
SSSpongeBob's Skeleton
Go back?! Are you nuts?!
SSSpongeBob's Skin
Show a little backbone! We gotta save our friends!
SSSpongeBob's Skeleton
Oh, you're right, but I'm still scared. Will you hold my hand?
SSSpongeBob's Skin
Deal! [they both go back together and SpongeBob heads back to rescue his friends]
Sandy
Whoo-whee! Looks like Gary is cooking up some fun.
[Gary pushes the plateful of food on the window and rings the bell. The food falls onto Spot and Gary jumps out. Gary and Spot then go to eat their meal.]
Sandy
It may not be pretty, but to a critter, chow is chow.
[Gary and Spot both eat all of the food until there's nothing left. Then they go to play around, leaving the Krusty Krab a big mess. At the very same moment, Marvin drives by, looking for Gary.]
MMarvin
Come out, come out. [gasps as he hears Gary in the Krusty Krab] Oh, there you are. [bursts through the front door and Gary and Spot stop playing; he slips on the floor, but gets up] Ha ha! I've got you this time. [slips on the Krabby Patty and falls on his face]
[Gary and Spot quickly run off to escape the animal control officer. Just then, Mr. Krabs comes in and is not very happy.]
MMarvin
[holds up his license, but is covered in tomato goo] Animal control, citizen. I'm hunting an errant snail.
I don't give a sea fig about snails! You tripped me silent alarm! [points to an alarm bell with a mime face on it while making a faint tapping noise] Just look at this mess! [attacks Marvin with his claws] Take that, you varmint! [continues attacking Marvin] Take that!
[Gary and Spot escape the Krusty Krab while Mr. Krabs continues to attack Marvin.]
Sandy
Gal Pals, we have to save SpongeBob!
SKSandy, Karen, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl
[whimpering] Gal Pals. [The girls break through the front door to rescue SpongeBob. But, to their relief and surprise, the old lady turns out to be a sales lady giving SpongeBob pinecones on a stick.]
Wow! [the old lady gives SpongeBob a pinecone on a stick] Ooh, another pinecone on a stick! I love it. [takes it and gets another one from the old lady] Wow! [takes another pinecone on a stick] I'm gonna get one of these for each of the Gal Pals.
SKSandy, Karen, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl
[confused] Huh?
Sandy
[laughs in relief] It's only a cabin-to-cabin country sales lady. Not Flibberty Gibbet at all.
FGFlibberty Gibbet
[off-screen] Did someone say my name? [the girls turn and see her for real this time] Hi, gals!
SKSandy, Karen, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl
Flibberty Gibbet! [scream in horror as they run out of the cabin and into the woods]
FGFlibberty Gibbet
I—I just wanted to say all's forgiven!
[follows the girls] Hey, wait! You'll need my lucky peanut!
SKSandy, Karen, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl
Gal Pals! [crash onto the screen] [The words "The End" is shown and the episode ends.]
These pancakes are delicious, Sandy, but what do you call this sweet stuff?
Sandy
That's maple syrup, It's kinda like jelly that comes from trees. [Patrick eats some pancakes before saying.]
Tree jelly? Gross.[camera widens to a jellyfish between Patrick and Squidward] I prefer mine on tap. [extracts jelly from the jellyfish's tentacle on his pancakes, The jellyfish then stings Squidward painfully and flies away.]
Sandy
Welcome to Bikini Bottom's very first Arbor Day celebration.
[comes out his hair and beard] Well, I can use a trim.
I think she said Harbor day, to celebrate old navy swabs like meself.
Sandy
It’s ARRR-BOR day, It's a day to celebrate the joy of trees.
[walks upfront to Sandy] But Sandy, you've got the only tree in town.
[singing] Sandy's in the kitchen with SpongeBob, we're in the kitchen, we two! Sandy's in the kitchen with SpongeBob, making nuts on the barbeque!
Sandy
[laughs, then grabs his hand] You heard the boss man! Tell me what's what.
Well, this here is where the magic happens: the grill. Heh. [SpongeBob puts his hands on the grill, burning them. He screams in pain and then giggles. He dots out a red rectangle in front of him.] As long as the sacred space is respected, the kitchen will remain in perfect harmony.
Sandy
Not to worry! We'll be like two crickets on a fiddle in here.
[rings bell and holds orders out] Here. Knock yourselves out. [SpongeBob takes the orders] Please. [SpongeBob reads the orders. Sandy has already fired up her barbecue and is cooking three nuts with tongs.]
Sandy
Already on it! So how many nuts should I fix up?
Nuts? Oh, sorry, Sandy, there must be a mistake. These are all for Krabby Patties.
Sandy
[ashamed] Ohhh.
Sandy
Well...oh! Maybe SpongeBob could give you the ol' [makes eating motions with hands] bite and chew.
KPKrabby Patty
[opens SpongeBob's mouth]
KPKrabby Patty
[looking inside SpongeBob's mouth] Great teeth, [SpongeBob's tongue turns into a flexing bicep] healthy tongue... [minty breath comes out of the mouth and kisses it] Minty-fresh breath. Spread my ketchup, the perfect mouth! It would be an honor, SpongeBob.
[eyes tearing up] Oh, no, Krabby Patty. The honor is mine.
KPKrabby Patty
Bon appétit, friend. [SpongeBob picks it up and starts putting it to his mouth]
Halt! [kicks SpongeBob out the way with his butt, picks up Krabby Patty] I deserve this patty. I'm clearly the hungriest. [holds out belly, then gets hit with pie, The clown picks up Krabby Patty and honks his horn. The other candidates start fighting over the patty, creating a fighting cloud.]
SSSpongeBob and Sandy
[backing away, but get dragged into the cloud] Whoa! [The fighting cloud jumps all over the place, while Squidward is ignoring the fight. Krabby Patty crawls out of the cloud.]
KPKrabby Patty
[last words] All this for little old me. Ha-ha. Why, if you'd told me when I was a lifeless pile of ingredients that someday I'd... [Gary eats it, everyone stops fighting]
Sandy
Welp, I guess it got what it wanted.
So, Gary, [nudges Gary with elbow] how was it?
Halt! [points to Sandy, everyone else angry] I blame the squirrel for this fracas. She made us turn on each other with her wicked, wicked science. [everyone starts shouting at Sandy]
Sandy
Well, science giveth, and science taketh away. [uses her Anthropomorphizer to turn a barrel sentient and rides away on it] Take me away, science. Yee-haw! [The customers all continue shouting at Sandy as they start chasing her. The camera irises out as the episode ends.]
Sandy
[comes through kitchen window with bag] Don't worry, SpongeBob. I figured you might have a little trouble [opens suit hatch] getting back to your homestead, [tosses bag into suit, several supplies start floating around in it] so I brung along some supplies.
Sandy
And I couldn't forget [takes Gary from bag] this little feller.
[narrating time card] Several days later...
[SpongeBob's suit is now a murky green, and several items are floating around in it.]
[murmuring, slithering around suit, SpongeBob is whistling while cooking patties]
[holding four large trays of patties, grumbling, then loses balance] Whoa! [falls down, and one patty lands onto a customer's table]
CCustomer
Mmm. [is about to eat the patty, then has an allergic reaction, and scratches hives] Oh. [flailing arms, screaming] Whaa! [puffs up, falls over]
[As Squidward walks by with a patty, all of the customers start having allergic reactions.]
Oh, no, the customers are allergic to patties, too! [turns suit arm into vacuum, then reaches it out from kitchen, Squidward yelps]
[sucking up old lady] Quick, get inside the suit! [sucks up customer scratching back on table] You'll be safe in here.
[Several customers run around screaming as SpongeBob uses the arm vacuum to suck them all up. Customers are inside suit, groan, Suddenly, the customers' allergies go away. Customers chattering]
CCustomer
My rash is gone!
OOOther other customer
Totally cured.
[yelps, bangs on office door] Mr. Krabs!
[opens door, money all over him, unimpressed] Yes? [eye stalks get grabbed by Squidward into kitchen] Oh!
SpongeBob lost his marbles! He sucked all the customers into that crazy contraption!
The patty allergy's spreading, Mr. Krabs. The customers are allergic too.
Calm down, lad! I'm sure you're just exaggerat-- [has allergic reaction] hmm? [screams, then gets sucked in vacuum]
Don't worry, Mr. Krabs. I'll save you! [Squidward runs away]
[enters suit, allergy goes away] That's better.
[shows plug] I even pulled out the plug, and I [shakes arms] can't shut it off!
Sandy
[worried] I got to get my brain working on this! [Sandy smacks her head and warbles. Inside her head, a smaller Sandy is in an exercise wheel hooked up to Sandy's brain. She wakes up, runs in the wheel, then hears an alarm ringing. She looks at the alarm, thinks then snaps her fingers.]
BSBrain Sandy
Hmm? Hmm. Aha! [She flexes her finger, which shows its muscles. She turns off the alarm, looks at the camera, and smiles.]
Sandy
[snaps out of trance] I see the problem! [to her head] Thanks, brain! [jams SpongeBob's finger into the switch, and it bounces off] Your spongy finger is just too darn soft and cute to press the switch.
Sandy
Don't worry, darling. I'll fix it. [Sandy snaps a bone through SpongeBob's finger. SpongeBob goes to shut off his alarm, but smashes it into a hole in the ground.]
[laughing] Thanks, Sandy.
Sandy
Let me try a little... [shakes the ball hard] Hmm. Or maybe some of this. [gnaws on the ball, then sets it down] Well, that didn't work. [bangs head] Come on, brain! [fade into her brain, Brain Sandy dances around like a chicken, clucks, snaps fingers] That's it! I need to use good old farm science on this one! [clucks, covers the Dutchman's ball with her tail]
Hey, what are you doing? Ow! [egg timer clicking, bell dings and the ball hatches] Hey! You hatched me good! [realizes] Wait a minute. I'm still tiny. [angry] What gives, Sandy?
SRSergeant Roderick
A giant meteor is headed straight for Earth, [meteor shows on screen] and as usual, Sandy, you're the only one that can save us.
Sandy
Hmmm... [Brain Sandy writes on a chalkboard full of diagrams and equations.]
BSBrain Sandy
Aha! [pounds fist]
Sandy
[salutes] You can count on me, sir. [presses a button and her rocket rises from her treedome, she launches herself through a window] Hyah! Mm... [she sits down and pulls a lever to launch the rocket] Yahoo! [The rocket launches through the air, hitting a seagull out of the way. It flies next to Earth. A giant hand comes out of the rocket.] Pardon me, Earth, [moves earth] you'll need to scooch over a bit.[The meteor flies past the Earth.] [wipes forehead] Phew! [The meteor changes its course and flies back for Earth. An alarm blares.] Wuh-oh! [looks at monitor] That sidewinding stone is a-coming back. [pulls a lever and grunts, The rocket pulls out a spray bottle and extinguishes the meteor.] Bad meteor, bad! [Meteor cries, flies away, Sandy's ship flies back to Earth, which grows a face.]
Sandy
Congratulations, Plankton. But remember, this technique is to be used [points] strictly for self-defense.
Oh, of course, Sensei Sandy. [leans in] Uh, wink? [takes off gi] Buh-bye! [laughs]
[Sandy stares ahead with a blank expression.]
Uh, Sandy? [zoom out to show Sandy standing on him] Could you give me a ride to the hospital?
Sandy
Whoops! [steps off him] Oh, sure, SpongeBob. Heh-heh.
[with a bag of popcorn] Oh, my. I hope he isn't too hurt. [eats popcorn, chuckles]
Sandy
[jumps down to Santa] Santa, talk to me, big fella. [grabs him]
SSanta
[groans, disoriented] Mrs. Claus, the Easter Bunny is here to see you. [points to Sandy]
Sandy
Oh, that ain't good. Come on, Santa. Don't you know what day it is?
SSanta
Of course. [holds up a heart and flowers] Happy Valentine's Day! [kisses Sandy] Mwah. [falls over and groans]
That old elf is one sugarplum shy of a fruitcake.
Yeah, bro. How is Santa gonna deliver our presents now?
He's not. Sandy knocked him right out of the sky with her big dumb tree.
That's exactly why I don't trust trees. [SpongeBob puts his hand on his shoulder]
But what's the point of having Christmas without any [screams] PRESENTS!?
You, like, totally ruined Christmas. [cries, running off and knocking people over]
Sandy
Oh, no. This is all my fault. I'm so sorry, y'all.
It'll be OK, Sandy. At least Santa's having a good time.
SSanta
[walking drunkenly] Hey, where are you goin'? The party's just gettin' started. [party horn toots, falls down] Whoa! [party horn toots]
Sandy
[puts her hands on her face] Oh!
[The episode starts with a pan to Bikini Bottom.]
Ah, the ocean. So bustling with aquatic life. So wet. [Sandy approaches from the distance] Ooh! Here comes one of the most elusive of sea creatures now: the squirrel.
[SpongeBob is blowing with the gum wrapper from "The Paper"]
Sandy
Howdy, SpongeBob. Uh, could you give me some feedback on this scientific paper I'm writing?
Sandy
The ocean is permitted with a multitude of aquatic life. From the amaties, hespect terrorist, to the astrodua and the perifera, though the differences are ostensible, there is a plethora of similarities. SpongeBob? Are you alright?
[shivering] Your science paper... so cold. So d-d-didactic.
Sandy
Gosh, you reckon it's too heavy on the technical side?
SpongeBob SquarePants · 1,068 quotes
