Slappy quotes from SpongeBob SquarePants

Slappy

I am sorry master. [kisses Nosferatu's hand] It won't happen again. [continues kissing Nosferatu's hand]

Squidward

[disgusted] Ew. We'll let ourselves out.

SpongeBob

[being dragged by Squidward, still with rearranged body parts] Aw, I don't want to leave. Boo!

[lightning crashes] Ah!

Slappy

[closing door with face] Oh, you can't leave due to inclement weather.

SpongeBob

We can't leave yet. Yay!

Slappy

[pops out of platter] Oh, I can help you decide. [laughs, opening platters] We have roasted werewolf teeth, pickled demon beards, fried mummy fingers, and [head opens to reveal his brain] brains tartare. [Squidward gags and throws up off-screen]

SpongeBob

Ooh, don't mind if I do-- [reaches for Slappy's head as it closes] oh. [laughs]

Slappy

Or, maybe you would like something sinfully succulent. [opens platter to reveal a Carpathian cheese ball]

Squidward

Ooh, a Carpathian cheese ball. [tries to dip cookie into the cheese ball, which turns into several spiders]

Slappy

Uh, eh. Whoopsie! That's my dinner. [holds eating utensils, runs after spiders off-screen] Come to daddy!

SpongeBob

Ooh.[Squidward breaks cookie, winces] [waving mummy finger] Oh, you've got to try these mummy fingers, Squidward. [takes bite out of mummy finger] So delicious. Nosferatu, you simply must give me the recipe.

Squidward

[yelling] Will you go night night time already?

SpongeBob

[noticing Nosferatu] Nosferatu? [lights flicker]

Squidward

Why are you sticking out of the wall like that?

Squidward

[running with SpongeBob] I can't believe Nosferatu tried to bite me! He's a real life v-v-vampire!

SpongeBob

He's gonna suck our blood! [sobs]

Squidward

There's got to be a way out of this castle!

Slappy

[slithering in front of them] I can show you a way out. [laughs while holding battle ax, SpongeBob and Squidward wear gas masks as Squidward shoots sleepy gas onto Slappy. suddenly tired] Slappy sleepy. [falls to ground]

Squidward

[tosses gas equipment] Let's try these doors. [opens door to reveal scary monsters on the other side, SpongeBob and Squidward scream and run away, Squidward opens another door to reveal a skull with flaming eyes. They both scream. Squidward opens another door to reveal some live-action sushi and both scream. They begin running on a conveyor belt and look behind them to see a mutant gorilla running after them.]

Gorilla monster! [scream]

Squidward

Quick, [points] down the laundry chute! [They both dive into the laundry chute. The gorilla falls on its face and crashes off-screen.]

SpongeBob

[he and Squidward slide down a slide] Whoa! [both end up in a laundry basket wearing vampire outfits, and scream at each other]

Squidward

[pointing to coffin] It's a vampire's coffin! [holds onto SpongeBob and whimpers, Five coffins rise from underneath the sand and start dancing around SpongeBob and Squidward. The coffins spin around and vampire fish come out of them.]

Nosferatu two-step! [close their coffins and enter the sand again]

Pick me! Pick me! Pick me![Slappy picks the third one, puts it on his body, and continues on with his night, as the rest of the heads sigh in disappointment. Slappy proceeds to the bathroom, stretching. There, a sea spider sitting on top of the bath sprays him with its acid, reducing Slappy's head to his skull.]

Slappy

Oh, Esmerelda, good evening.[Slappy removes his pajamas and enters the bath, as Esmerelda ties him with her web. Slappy then emerges from the web dressed up, exiting the bathroom and heading towards Nosferatu's coffin, holding a plate with blood in a glass and eggs, then knocks on the coffin] Wakey-wakes, Master. The first blood of the day is the most important. [no one answers] Huh? Master?[Slappy opens the coffin and gasps upon finding Nosferatu with a runny nose, sneezing and turning into a bat as he does so.]

Slappy

Oh no! You got a stuffy Nose-feratu! [rimshot, then Nosferatu sneezes and turns back into himself again, but sneezes a second time and turns back into a bat. Just as he's about to sneeze a third time, Slappy puts him in the cage] We have to get you to Dr. Calimari right away. [exits the castle on a bicycle and drives into a deformed black-and-white building as Nosferatu continues sneezing]

Next patient?

Slappy

Salutations, Dr. Calimari. The Master has a case of the Transylvanian sniff-sniffs. Can you help?[Nosferatu screeches at Dr. Calimari.]

Thanks you for bringing him in, Slappy. I'll steam those allergies right out of his schnoz.

Slappy

[with a bag of popcorn] Oh, my. I hope he isn't too hurt. [eats popcorn, chuckles]

Sandy

[jumps down to Santa] Santa, talk to me, big fella. [grabs him]

[groans, disoriented] Mrs. Claus, the Easter Bunny is here to see you. [points to Sandy]

Sandy

Oh, that ain't good. Come on, Santa. Don't you know what day it is?

Of course. [holds up a heart and flowers] Happy Valentine's Day! [kisses Sandy] Mwah. [falls over and groans]

Oh.

Squidward

Oh, boy..

That old elf is one sugarplum shy of a fruitcake.

Yeah, bro. How is Santa gonna deliver our presents now?

Squidward

He's not. Sandy knocked him right out of the sky with her big dumb tree.

Patrick

That's exactly why I don't trust trees. [SpongeBob puts his hand on his shoulder]

Mrs. Puff

But what's the point of having Christmas without any [screams] PRESENTS!?

Pearl

You, like, totally ruined Christmas. [cries, running off and knocking people over]

[angrily leaves]

Sandy

Oh, no. This is all my fault. I'm so sorry, y'all.

SpongeBob

It'll be OK, Sandy. At least Santa's having a good time.

[walking drunkenly] Hey, where are you goin'? The party's just gettin' started. [party horn toots, falls down] Whoa! [party horn toots]

Sandy

[puts her hands on her face] Oh!