Sandy quotes from SpongeBob SquarePants

[cracks into pieces] Um... hooray.

AAuthor

Say "cheese"! [takes a picture as the episode ends]

S9 Squirrel Record

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Heh heh heh... What's this? Do I find myself on this dark and scary street, yet again? We'll just see what happens! [walks down further into the alley] This time!

MMan

Hey! You! [starts walking toward Squidward]

Let me give him a taste! A mere morsel of what's in store! [karate chops] Hi-yah! [kicks] Hi-yah! [flips] Hi-yah! That one was called Washing Sandy's Windows! [the man walks closer] Stay back or you're gonna get it! I am warning you! [the man continues to walk closer breathing heavily] Okay buddy, I warned ya! [near a trash can] I like to call this one Taking Out Sandy's Trash! Hi-yah! [kicks the trash can toward the man]

MMan

What? [gets hit on the head by the trash can] Ow!

[laughs] How do you like them apples? Wah! [punches a crate at the man]

MMan

Oh! Ow!

[holding two wooden planks] Hah! Feel my wrath! [throws them] How's your uncle?!

MMan

[gets hit on the head by one of the planks] Ow! [the other hits him on the stomach] Ow!

And as my finishing move! I give you Watering Sandy's Lawn! He-yah! [spin kicks a dumpster at the man. Then pushes it off of him]

MMan

Oh... hey, man! Wha-what was that for? [holding Squidward's groceries] I was just trying to give you back your groceries you dropped!

[takes the groceries] Uh, oh.

Sandy! I found him! He's over here! [holding the belt] You forgot your belt silly! [looks at the man and gasps]

Sandy

Gosh! What happened to you?

This guy's been... ka-rah-tayed!

Sandy

After all I said about never using karate for revenge?

For shame, Squidward. For shame.

Sandy

Looks like he's not worthy of this belt after all. [takes the belt] Thanks for dishonoring our trust in you, Squidward. [walks off with SpongeBob]

Whatever! I'm still a karate master!

Wow, really? You are? [walks Squidward to the police car]

Yes I am!

Hey watch your head. [Squidward gets into the police car. Then John gets into it] Oh, I'd never guess it.

And what is that supposed to mean?

Oh, uh... nothing. Just with the rubbery arms and the doughiness in the midsection...

Okay, already! I get it! [notices the handcuffs on him] What? Wait a second. Am I under arrest?

You sure are! And you have the right to remain silent... [Squidward screams loudly] ...or not silent. [drives off as the episode ends]

S9 Squid Defense

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Welcome, gamers! And behold! [thunderclaps] My game!

[Patrick's game board is made out of random board games and is shaped like Patrick himself]

It's beautiful!

[yawns] Are we finished? Who won? [Sandy, disgusted by Squidward's rude behavior, nudges him, much to Squidward's annoyance]

[laughs] No, my friend. We have only just begun.

Sandy

What's it called, Patrick?

Might I suggest "Garbage"? [Sandy growls at Squidward] What?

Yeah, Patrick. What's it called?

[As Patrick thinks, Mini Brain Patrick pushes a light bulb out of his head and it lights up.]

It's called... "Patrick!!" [thunderclaps]

Wow!

Could we just get started already? I'm late for my coma. [still annoyed by Squidward, Sandy zips Squidward's mouth shut]

S9 Patrick! The Game

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Hey, Squidward, you finally understand the rules!

Oh, I get the rules alright. The rules are that it doesn't matter what anybody rolls! You can just make up whatever it means! [takes the dice and rolls them] So I could just roll the dice and say, "Automatic Winner!"

Good job, Squidward! You've won!

Sandy

Nice play, Squidward!

Huh? Oh, you know what, you're right. That was a good play.

Not so fast! [writes on his rule card] No player may declare himself "Automatic Winner."

You did it again. [becomes furious] You made up another rule! THIS GAME IS THE WORST! STUPID GAME! [Infuriated with Patrick's constant rules, he attacks Patrick. SpongeBob and Sandy run off while he grabs Patrick's game board and shakes it off of Patrick. Then he throws Patrick in the air and when Patrick landed, the game breaks in half. Squidward then puts a piece of the game board in his mouth and shakes his head like a dog. He stomps on it with both feet out of insane anger. However, the police arrives at the scene]

HSHighway Speed Patrol

Destruction to private property. [Patrick, who's visibly enraged at Squidward for destroying his game, writes on his rule card and gives it to the police. Squidward tries to walk away but Nancy O'Malley and the Highway Speed Patrol follow him] Oh, and I see here you are a repeat offender. You're going to real jail. [he and Nancy O'Malley grab Squidward and throw him in the police car]

Anything to get out of this game! Thanks, Officers! [however, the blue cellmate comes back inside the box]

BCBlue Cellmate

Welcome back!

Somebody say my name! [the police car drives away]

[appears on a game board box; to the viewers] GAME OVER!

[the episode ends]

S9 Patrick! The Game

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[Patrick comes with a yellow balloon and is still riding the skateboard upside down]

Sandy

Hey, Patrick. Have you noticed that everyone's acting a lot like you today?

[eats the balloon and it pops inside his mouth which deflates his head. He lifts his head up] I don't understand the question. [leaves and continues riding the skateboard upside down]

S9 Salsa Imbecilicus

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Sandy

Huh? SpongeBob, what's going on?

Oh, hey— [SpongeBob and Patrick hit each other] Sandy. Patrick and I are— [SpongeBob and Patrick hit each other again] in the middle of a sports game.

[Patrick jumps onto SpongeBob]

Sandy

This sure don't look like any sport I've seen before. [SpongeBob and Patrick hit each other again]

I believe it's called kickboxing, or something? [Patrick falls down]

Sandy

Well, whatever it is, it seems to be causing you lots of pain. [SpongeBob hits Patrick]

Ow! Sure is. [gets hit again] Ooh!

Sandy

Why not stop playing it if it hurts so bad?

We can't stop... [panting] Until we break our tie.

Sandy

Says who?

[The trumpeters play and fog steams out from between the booths]

SSShark Son

It's the rule giver.

[The crowd murmurs as Don the Whale, Frank the Muscular Goldfish, and Larry the Lobster carry Squidward, who is in a grim reaper outfit, onto the field. They set him down and the crowd cheers]

Sandy

I ain't never heard of a rule giver.

[flips his hood] I prefer "King of Sports," but you can never tell what will catch on with the small folk.

Sandy

You're making up a game where SpongeBob and Patrick hurt themselves, and you won't let them stop?!

I'm just giving the people what they want.

Sandy

That's pretty low, Squidward, even for you. I'm putting a stop to this. SpongeBob and Patrick have had enough! [SpongeBob and Patrick appear brutally beaten up by Squidward's so-called games]

MMan

AAAAAAAAAUUURRGGHH!!!

See? They're fine. Let the games resume. [Sandy grumbles and the audience cheers]

Sandy

Oh, I don't think so. Y'all want to see a game? Fine. Squidward, I challenge you to a game—a game of basketball. Winner decides the fate of SpongeBob and Patrick. [throws basketballs in Squidward's face]

Huh? [the crowd cheers] Me? Play sports? No, no. I'm mostly in an advisory position.

JGJimmy Gus

Aw, come on! We came to see some action! Play the squirrel! Play the squirrel!

CCrowd

Play the squirrel! Play the squirrel!

Sandy

See you on the court, Your Highness. [shoves the crown down Squidward's face]

S10 Sportz?

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[As Sandy is contacting Frenchy on her communicator, Squidward peeks out from beneath the rock. He watches as a fish eats a smaller fish, gets eaten by a bigger fish, and in turn that one gets eaten by a whale. He yells and pulls himself out]

I'm going home to hide under the covers! It's every cephalopod for himself!

[He runs across the jellyfish fields, out into the light of Neptune's Moon. Sandy looks up from her communicator, sees Squidward blindly running into danger and gasps]

Sandy

Frenchy, I gotta call you back!

[She runs after Squidward]

Sandy

Squidward, you have to stay in the shade!

[Squidward trips up over his own feet and falls on his face with a crash. As he lies there, he hears a growl behind him. He turns over onto his back and sees a carnivorous purple fish swimming towards him to eat him. Terrified, Squidward crawls backwards a little, screaming]

Help!

[Sandy rushes forward to try to save him]

Sandy [stretching out her arms]: Squidward, no!

[Squidward whimpers and feebly holds up a defensive arm as the fish growls and gains on him. Suddenly, as though it had detected him by radar, the light of Neptune's moon beams down on the frightened little octopus. He's bewildered by moon, but not entranced as before. He watches the light go, and looks down at himself, noticing that he has turned more green than usual. He promptly changes into a normal-sized, non-anthropomorphic octopus. Roaring, Squidward grabs the purple fish and eats it, before starting after Sandy.]

Sandy

O.M. Jehosaphat! You don't see that every day!

S10 Feral Friends

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[Mr. Krabs and Mrs. Puff fight each other again. However, now that Neptune's Moon is gone, they both revert themselves back into their regular forms. But unfortunately, the effects of Neptune's Moon also caused their respective clothing to dissolve into nothingness, thus leaving them naked]

KPMr. Krabs and Mrs. Puff

Oops. [cover themselves in embarrassment and run off laughing]

[Larry reverts back to his regular form as well. But he is also naked. He picks up a flower and uses it as a loincloth. Then he walks away. Pearl and Squidward continue fighting above Sandy's treedome. They both revert back to their regular forms. However, they're also naked as well. Pearl spits Squidward out from her mouth]

What is going on here? [gasps] MY CLOTHES! [screams and runs away]

Pearl

[screams and runs away as she is naked] NO!

[SpongeBob and Patrick revert back to the regular forms, but they're also naked as well]

Sandy

Aah!

[SpongeBob pulls himself off of Sandy's suit. Patrick giggles and falls off of Sandy's helmet. SpongeBob looks around and sees Sandy's treedome destroyed]

Um, Sandy, how come your treedome is broken and everyone's naked?

Sandy

Well, SpongeBob, let's just say this has been the most interesting birthday I ever had.

French Narrator

And, of course, Neptune's Moon is always followed by Neptune's Sun.

[The ground shakes. Neptune's Sun comes out of a volcano and shines its light on Sandy. The light then transforms Sandy into a realistic land squirrel. It appears that Neptune's Sun only effects land creatures while Neptune's Moon only effects sea creatures. Sandy chitters and crawls around inside her suit]

SPSpongeBob and Patrick

You don't see that everyday. Jinx! Buy me a patty!

[They both laugh as Sandy chitters]

S10 Feral Friends

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[sees an angry mob with police cars around Patrick's rock; deflatedly] Patrick, you gotta hide! There's an angry mob coming for you. They're here.

Sandy

They done busted my dome!

OROld Ribeye

They wrecked me up!

They got pictures of me naked!

No one wants to see your moles.

CCrowd

Ew!

Officer! [grabs Officer John and pushes him to Rube] That guy's camera took pictures of me Krabby Patty ingredients. And I want that film, before Plankton gets it!

[Officer John pushes Mr. Krabs aside and grabs Rube's camera. He opens it and sees Plankton already inside of it, but the camera itself appears to not have any film in it]

PPlankton

Way ahead of you, Krabs. But there's no film in this camera at all.

EEveryone

Huh?

That's strange.

[Everyone looks at Rube in confusion]

Rube

Sorry for the misunderstandin', everybody, but I didn't take any pictures today. I don't even have a camera.

[The camera disappears, with Plankton falling to the ground which surprises everyone]

EEveryone

[shocked] Huh?!

Rube

In fact... [waves his arms as his voice fades] I'm not even here. [disappears completely and everyone gasps in a shocking surprise]

[nervously] Um...uh... [waves his hands in the air; it turns out that Rube was nothing more than an illusion] And we're backing away, and backing away, and backing away!

[Everyone backs away in fear and runs off. The screen fades back into "The Tidal Zone"]

French Narrator

You see? I told you. Things always get weird in "The Tidal Zone." [cackling]

Rube

[appears in "The Tidal Zone" and takes pictures] Amazing! [floats away as the episode comes to an end]

S11 No Pictures Please

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Sandy

I ain't fixed the vortex yet! How in tarnation did you get back?

Sandy saved us. [he and Patrick leave]

Sandy

[confused] What? [the old coot's hand appears through the vortex and taps Sandy's shoulder] Huh? Huh?

OCOld coot

Give me back my nuts!

[Sandy gulps nervously as the screen irises out on her. DoodleBob appears and writes "The End" on the screen, ending the episode.]

S11 Doodle Dimension

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[Mr. Krabs is bathing in a tub of money in the restaurant. SpongeBob and Sandy enter the restaurant and sulk over to Mr. Krabs]

Oh, Mr. Krabs! [Mr. Krabs gasps and hides in the tub] I got all the secret ingredients on your list, but Plankton stole them all! I made the apocalypse! [cries a fountain of tears and spray them all over the restaurant, which hits Mr. Krabs]

[Sandy gets drenched on by the tears and activates the windshield wipers on her helmet]

[plugs SpongeBob's mouth with a cork] Now, now, son. You didn't make the apocalypse. I couldn't afford to have Plankton following me while I was getting the real ingredients at the Barg'N-Mart, could I? [pushes the button on the table Fred is eating on and it flips over showing a shopping cart containing the real Krabby Patty ingredients]

Fred

[screams] MY LEG!

So, my list was a fake? So, no apocalypse?

No apocalypse.

I saved the world! [laughs and dances around the restaurant while Sandy glares angrily at Mr. Krabs] No apocalypse! No apocalypse! No apocalypse! No apocalypse!

Let's not go too far.

Sandy

[rolls up her sleeves] You mean you sent my best friend on a dangerous wild goose chase just so you could go shopping?! [backs Mr. Krabs into his office] Excuse us, SpongeBob. [closes the door while wearing her karate glove] This is for my tail!

Wait, Sandy, I was—

Sandy

Hi-yah! [karate chops Mr. Krabs really hard. Mr. Krabs ends up crashing into the door, buttocks first] This is for almost getting us killed!

Wait, Sandy!

Sandy

Hi-yah! [karate chops Mr. Krabs really hard again. This time, head first at the door, and comes out with a bag of money as compensation for Sandy's submarine] And this is for my submarine, Matilda! [Mr. Krabs comes out and is completely beaten up. She kicks the plank Mr. Krabs is standing on] Hi-yah! Hi-yah! [karate chops Mr. Krabs and sends him flying through the roof]

Well, I guess I had that coming.

[Meanwhile, at the Chum Bucket, Plankton is fixing up a batch of Krabby Patties with the fake ingredients]

PPlankton

Can you believe it, Karen? After all these years, the secret ingredients are finally here! And the final ingredient: ghost dandruff! [pulls out a bucket of ghost dandruff from the bag]

Karen

[backs away] I wouldn't add that last one...

PPlankton

[adds ghost dandruff to the batch] Ha, ha! I can't wait to see the look on Krabs' face! [stirs the fake ingredients all together. Then all of a sudden, the Chum Bucket explodes and sends Plankton flying in the sky. He screams until he sees Mr. Krabs] Krabs?

Plankton.

S11 Shopping List

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First, we build a furnace to make the bottles.

Sandy

[pulls out the molten glass from the furnace. She takes a deep breath and blows the glass into a shoe. She does it the second time and blows it into a human brain. She does it the third time and blows it into a sea shell. She does it the fourth time and makes it into the bottle she needed for her ship] Perfect and slick as a whistle. [blows in the bottle and makes a whistle; she shows the bottle to Mr. Krabs]

Hmm. [takes out a hammer and smashes the bottle] Try again.

Sandy

[growls in disgust. She makes another bottle and shows it to Mr. Krabs] Huh?

[smashes the bottle with the hammer] Try again.

Sandy

:[makes another bottle and shows it to Mr. Krabs. This time, Mr. Krabs is on a swing] Huh?

[smashes the bottle with the hammer] Try again. [Sandy makes another bottle and smashes the bottle with the hammer] Try again. [Sandy makes another bottle and smashes the bottle with the hammer] Try again. [Sandy makes another bottle and smashes the bottle with the hammer] Try again. [She makes one more bottle and is breathing heavily in anger. Mr. Krabs holds out the hammer and goes to hit the bottle. Sandy cowers as he is going to strike at the bottle. This time, Mr. Krabs doesn't destroy it. He sees it as the perfect bottle for the model ship] Perfect!

Sandy

Whew!

Now, we can start on the ship. [accidentally smashes her bottle with the hammer] Oh, wait, um, I wasn't supposed to break that one, was I?

Sandy

[whimpers and is completely worn out] I feel like chewed-up twine. I'm going to bed. And you can forget about the prize money, 'cause the contest is tomorrow.

[spits his soda out in surprise] Tomorrow?! [cries as his tears fill up his water helmet] Me prize money! Hey, mind if I take a crack at this ship bottle thing?

Sandy

Knock yourself out. [closes the door]

S11 Surf N' Turf

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[An exhausted SpongeBob walks up to the front door of his house]

[sighs and looks at his watch] Well, I may have missed the live broadcast, but at least I got it all on tape. Here I come, "Mermaid Man!" [tries to open the door but it's locked] Oh. [tries to pull it open but to no avail; he checks his pockets] Where'd I put my keys? [peaks through the window] Did I leave them on the table again? [sees his VCR going haywire and it spits out the tape's film] No, my tape! [the ice block explodes and soda flies everywhere] My soda! [the popcorn machine explodes] My popcorn! [sees everything a complete mess] My "Mermaid Man!" [the house bursts into flames and he screams]

Gary

[gets shot out of the house on a flying soda bottle. SpongeBob goes to catch Gary, but he lands on his face] Meow. [slithers off of SpongeBob]

[SpongeBob, completely shocked at what happened, starts feeling really sad and begins to cry. His crying is so loud that it is heard all across Bikini Bottom, which results in waking up the townsfolk. Moments later, Squidward, Patrick, Sandy, Larry, Mr. Krabs, Plankton, and Mrs. Puff arrive to see what was the matter]

Sandy

Hey there, SpongeBob. Why all the waterworks?

[sniffles and wipes his tears with his nose like a windshield wiper] I was so busy helping everyone that I missed "Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy" and my VCR didn't record it and now I'll never see it and my life has no meaning! [sulks away from his friends and goes back into his burning house crying hysterically, now that his chances of seeing the long-lost episode of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy has been shattered. All of SpongeBob's friends including Squidward look on at him with sad faces and realized what they had done: they took his kindness for granted and inexplicably ruined his chances of seeing the episode he's been looking forward to watching]

S11 Appointment TV

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Mrs. Puff

I'm not so sure about pranking SpongeBob. He can't help he's insufferable.

Sandy

Nobody likes a good prank more than SpongeBob.

Mrs. Puff

Mm. Okay.

S11 Girls' Night Out

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Sandy, don't you think you're playing a teensy-weensy bit rough? Just a smidge? Hm?

Sandy

Aww, I'm actually going a little easy on you guys, seein' as you're all so delicate. [lets them go and takes out a bucket of chum] Hey, who wants to play "dodge the chum?" [throws some chum at SpongeBob]

No, I don't think I'm— [gets chum thrown in his face] Sandy is really stressing me out today. You want to go jellyfishing?

[licks the chum off SpongeBob's face] No, I'd rather go jellyfishing.

You sure you don't wanna go [takes out his jellyfishing net] jellyfishing?

I said no. [takes out his net] I wanna go jellyfishing.