Santa quotes from South Park

I just couldn't do it. [camera flashes onto dead Iraqi] I just couldn't let him live. He shocked Santa's balls!

Christmas is a very special time of year, but this year it almost didn't happen. There's a man named Jesus who gave his life to save me. And so I declare that every year on Christmas Day. We should remember Jesus for what he did, and thank him for it. From now on, Christmas will be a day for remembering a brave man named Jesus.

[to an Iraqi] I'm gonna fucking kill you!

You're not in the position to kill anyone. I just want you to tell me America's plan.

Then we're in for a long night, 'cause I don't know shit!

Look, there's Santa Claus!

Let's eat his flesh!

[certainly not his usual jolly self] Alright, what the HELL IS GOING ON?! Why is there a red star glowing in the sky?!

I'll get you, Tom Cruise! [hops on him and wrestles him]

Stan

Hey look! Tom Cruise has Seaman on his back.

What did you say?!

Kyle

Oh yeah. Tom Cruise does have Seaman on his back.

I guess maybe Tom Cruise likes Seaman.

[straightens up] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! [Sea-Man gets off his back] You're not supposed to be able to make fun of me anymore! What the hell's going on?!

[on the rafters with a jet pack on his back] I'll be back, Super Best Friends! [tales off through an open door on the roof.]

Who's the creepy ginger kid?

Reiner, you said the goo machine would work! But I got made fun of!

Kyle

That's because there is no goo, Mr. Cruise. You see, I learned something today. Throughout this whole ordeal, we've all wanted to show things that we weren't allowed to show, but it wasn't because of some magic goo. It was because of the magical power of threatening people with violence. That's obviously the only true power. If there's anything we've all learned, it's that terrorizing people works.

That's right. Don't you see, gingers, if you don't want to be made fun of anymore, all you need are guns and bombs to get people to stop.

That's right, friends. All you need to do is instill fear and be willing to hurt people and you can get whatever you want. The only true power is violence.