NNelson
Randy, working on that sediment analysis?
Not now, Nelson. I just joined a big party of Night Elves and we're on a mission to explore the Tower of Azora together.
NNelson
Is that a computer game?
No, retard, it's an MMORPG. These are real people I'm playing with. See, I'm a hunter, level two. I can chat with all these other people, and check it out, I can even wave to this guy here. [waves to another player, who waves back] In the outside world, I'm a simple geologist, but in here...I am Valkor, defender of the Alliance. I have braved the Fargo-deep mines and defeated the Blood Fish at Jarod's La--
[The Rogue walks up behind Valkor and stabs him unexpectedly]
NNelson
Looks like that guy just killed you. [walks away]
Stacy, go ahead and send in Eric Cartman.
[Cartman enters the room and starts laughing as uncontrollably as he did before at Dr. Nelson]
Eric, Mr. Nelson is concerned about how you react to little people.
Oh, oh- did I hurt his little feelings? Ha ha ha!
NDr. Nelson
You know, you think you have the power to make me insecure, but your words are actually completely powerless.
Oh-oh-oh-oh! If we could get, like, 8 of these, we can dress them all up like little beavers, right? And then put them in a pond, and see if they build a dam!
Dr. Nelson [as Cartman continues laughing at him]: You see? No matter what you say, I'm still standing!
NDr. Nelson
No matter how you act, I can rise above it!
NDr. Nelson
[his face is now blushing in anger] SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!
Dr. Nelson [as Cartman laughs at him again]: He didn't get to me. I was just joking.
Look, look how his face is all red. He's like a little strawberry.
KKids
[after Cartman enters the gym] Hello, fatso.
Ey! What the hell is that? You think that's fucking funny?! Kyle, did you put everyone up to this? I bet you did! What the hell is going on?
NDr. Nelson
Now you know how it feels.
[Cartman starts laughing again]
NDr. Nelson
You better shut up or I'm gonna kick your ass!
All right, all right, who is the freaking genius who dressed it up in little suspenders? Clyde, was that you?
HSHomeland Security Head
Ferris, set up over there. Two of you can take that bed area.
HSHomeland Security Head
Donner, take over that station.
HSHomeland Security Head
This department is being absorbed by Homeland Security.
HSHomeland Security Head
Look, your little game of going over people's heads is over. You can still work, but from now on, you answer to me. You got that?
FHFBI Head
Excuse me, who's in charge here?
HSHomeland Security Head
I am.
FHFBI Head
Yeah, well, not anymore you're not. This department has just been assigned to the FBI.
HSHomeland Security Head
That's outrageous! On whose orders?
FHFBI Head
On order of the Secretary of Defense. You had your shot, now I'm in charge.
AHATF Head
Not anymore you're not. Orders just came down from Central. They want ATF handling this on all fronts. All right, people, from now on, you're answering to me.
PSPresident's Staff Head
Not anymore they're not. Orders from the President. He wants this handled by his staff personally. Now Nelson is in charge.
NNelson
Not anymore I'm not! [awkward silence]
I'm over it, Sharon. I am seriously over it. Don't you wanna just start over? Go back to simpler times?
I've had it -- school shootings, pieces of shit taking Ambien and tweeting, priests raping kids, and somehow... I'm not laughing anymore. Let's do it, Sharon. What I've always talked about. Let's get outta here. Go buy a farm and live off the land.
I've never been more serious.
NNelson
[honking] Hey, the light's green!
SHUT UP, NELSON! Let's move out to the country. Go back to simple living when things mattered, like work hard and tegridy.
How will we make a living?
By growing things and selling what we make with our hands. We can do this, Sharon. It's time.
South Park · 1,569 quotes
