South Park · Season 10, Episode 8
“Make Love, Not Warcraft” · Season 10, Episode 8
In this episode: Eric Cartman (9), Stan Marsh (5), Rob Pardo (4), Kyle Broflovski (3), Randy Marsh (3), Butters Stotch (1), Kenny McCormick (1), Liane (1)
[as a dwarf warrior] Aw, dude! I just took the biggest crap! Hey, where are you guys?
[as a female human mage] We're over here, by the cart!
[approaches] Okay, I'm back.
[as a human warrior] Dude! We've been waiting forever!
Well, I'm sorry, I had to take a shit!
If you didn't eat so much, you wouldn't have diarrhea all the time, fatass!
Hey, I don't need to take any lip from a fuckin' girl!
[as a human hunter; muffled] I think Kyle has sweet titties! [laughs]
Heh heh, totally!
Stan! Stan!
Hang on, guys. My dad wants something.
Stan!
WHAT?!
You've been on your computer all weekend! Shouldn't you go out and socialize with your friends?
I AM socializing, retard! I'm logged onto an MMORPG with people from all over the world and getting XP with my party using team speak!
[long pause] I'm not a retard...
Wow, look at all these people playing right now!
Yeah, it's bullcrap. I bet half of these people are Koreans!
I've got to get home! My kids are playing World of Warcraft right now!
Jim, your kid's characters are already dead.
No! They only just started playing!
Whoever this person is, he's played World of Warcraft nearly every hour of every day for the past two years. Gentlemen, we are dealing with someone here who has absolutely no life.
How do you kill that which has no life?
Randy, working on that sediment analysis?
Not now, Nelson. I just joined a big party of Night Elves and we're on a mission to explore the Tower of Azora together.
Is that a computer game?
No, retard, it's an MMORPG. These are real people I'm playing with. See, I'm a hunter, level two. I can chat with all these other people, and check it out, I can even wave to this guy here. [waves to another player, who waves back] In the outside world, I'm a simple geologist, but in here...I am Valkor, defender of the Alliance. I have braved the Fargo-deep mines and defeated the Blood Fish at Jarod's La--
[The Rogue walks up behind Valkor and stabs him unexpectedly]
Looks like that guy just killed you. [walks away]
What? Why? WHY?!
If you had a chance right now to go back in time and stop Hitler, would you do it? I mean, I personally wouldn't stop him because I think he was awesome, but YOU would, right?
I'm just going to stop playing.
When Hitler rose to power, there were a lot of people who just stopped playing. You know who those people were? The French. Are you French, Clyde?
No.
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, Clyde?
Okay, alright, I'll do it!
We can't give the Sword of a Thousand Truths to a noob!
Stan! Stan!
Dad, not now!
Stan, I've been sent here...to give you THIS. [holds up the Sword of 1000 Truths] This sword will completely drain his mana!
How did you get that?!
No time! Just take it! Here!
[long pause]
Um, how do you hand items from one player to another?
Bring up your inventory screen, Ctrl-I!
Okay...
Stan, what the hell are you doing?!
[receives sword] I got it!
[The Rogue kills Randy]
Dad!
[weakly] Staaaan...
[to The Rogue] You killed my father. [strikes him] YAHHH!
His shield and armor spells are down! Attack!
[Kenny shoots the Rouge with an arrow; Kyle brings him down with a fireball; Cartman approaches)
Looks like you're about to get pwned. RAAAHHH! [smashes The Rogue's head in with his hammer]
I don't play World of Warcraft.
Butters, you said you were on your computer all the time.
Yeah, but I'm playing Hello Kitty: Island Adventure.
[long pause]
[sighs] Butters, go buy World of Warcraft, install it on your computer and join the online sensation before we all murder you.
Oh...alright then.
Prepare to charge! Scroll over him with your mouse cursors and...right click!
Gentlemen, this could very well be the end of the World...of Warcraft.
No... NOOOOO!
I don't have a World of Warcraft account, do you?
No, I have a life!
[all have died after attempting to outnumber and overpower The Rogue Player, with only Cartman's character left alive] No! Leave me alone! Don't do this! [The Rouge kills him and jumps around the fallen players as if he's taunting them. Cut to an enraged Cartman]
[throws off his headset in fury] GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!
Alright, major stone shield potions... should be... oh God, I'm gonna have diarrhea again. Aaaaagh... doo!
You can't go to the bathroom, you're stacking sunder armor!
It's okay. [over intercom] Mom! Bathroom!
What, hon?
Bathroom! Bathroom!
[Liane comes down to the basement and holds a bedpan under her son's ass. Cartman takes down his pants and out comes a spattering stream of shit. Some of it ends up on the floor, some on Liane's blouse and trousers]
Ooh, that's a big boy, isn't he? [exits with the poop-filled bedpan]
Alright, Kenny, drink your elixir of the mongoose. I'm now going to use mocking blow.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's South Park pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
