Mr. Slave quotes from South Park

[lisping] Oh Jesuth Chrith!

I don't like vaginas.

I was informed that fourth-graders are a little too old for Mr. Hat.

Kyle

TWO-year-olds are too old for Mr. Hat!

But it's okay because I found a new teacher's assistant. Say hello to...Mr. Slave.

Hi, kids. Hm.

So that's Mr. Slave. The teacher's assistant. Or, as I like to write for short, the Teacher's Ass.

Cartman

[whispering to Craig] Yo, I think that Mr. Slave guy's a...Pakistani.

Say, Mr. Slave...

Yes, Mr. Garrison?

I had a dream last night that you were a real dick.

Really? Why would you dream that I was being an asshole?

No, no. I was the asshole.

[slightly nonplussed] Uh, I'm very happy to receive this award, but you know what makes me even happier? Sucking balls.

[whispering to Mr. Slave] It's not working. Sing your song, Mr. Slave.

[singing] I've got a little-- [stops] ooh, ooh ow, Jesus Christ, what the heck's happening in there?

[to Lemmiwinks, who's on a gyroscope] Hang on, Lemmiwinks! You solved the Catata Fish's riddle, now your trials are nearly through!

Aah! I should never have shoved those poor animals up my ass! [school board applaud again]

Courageous.

So courageous.

[finally losing his temper] God damn it, don't you people get it?! I'm trying to get fired here!

Mr. Tweek, why don't we go back to my place?

Why?

Well, you know. I was just thinking we could put on some music and watch videos and pound Mr. Slave's tight little ass.

Ooh. Jesus Christ!

Whoa! Goodness no. I'm straight.

Straight? Jesus, what the heck is going on here?! Why won't anybody pound Mr. Slave's butt?

Well, we don't 'pound butt', Mr. Garrison, we're straight.

Those pants and those shoes say you pound butt!

Hey, now that's not true. My shoes don't say I pound butt.

No, your shoes say you take it in the butt!

Chef, what did you do when white people stole your culture?

Oh, well, we black people just always tried to stay out in front of them.

How did you do that?

Well, like with our slang. Black people always used to say, "I'm in the house" instead of "I'm here." But then white people all started to say "in the house" so we switched it to "in the hizzouse." Hizzouse became hizzizzouse, and then white folk started saying that, and we had to change it to hizzle, then "in the hizzle" which we had to change to "hizzle fo shizzle," and now, because white people say "hizzle fo shizzle," we have to say "flippity floppity floop."

We don't have time for all that, Chef! Oh, if only those Queer Eye For the Straight Guy people understood what they were doing. Wait. That's it! I know exactly what to do! Come on, Mr. Slave! Let's get back to our flippity floppity floop.

Oh no! Darn it! Don't call it that!