Oh please, Craig, we're 10 times gayer than you are!
“South Park Is Gay!” · Season 7, Episode 8
In this episode: Eric Cartman (4), Mr. Garrison (3), Stan Marsh (2), Mr. Slave (2), Randy Marsh (1), Kenny McCormick (1), Jimbo (1), Mr. Tweek (1)
Look, guys. A lot of the kids in school are talking and they are spreading rumors that we're not metro-sexuals because we hang out with Kyle.
Well what can we do about it?
We have no choice guys. We're just going to have to kill Kyle.
Eric, you're not half bi.
I'm like a quarter bi. My grandpa was bi so that makes me a quarter bi.
What?!
Mr. Tweek, why don't we go back to my place?
Why?
Well, you know. I was just thinking we could put on some music and watch videos and pound Mr. Slave's tight little ass.
Ooh. Jesus Christ!
Whoa! Goodness no. I'm straight.
Straight? Jesus, what the heck is going on here?! Why won't anybody pound Mr. Slave's butt?
Well, we don't 'pound butt', Mr. Garrison, we're straight.
Those pants and those shoes say you pound butt!
Hey, now that's not true. My shoes don't say I pound butt.
No, your shoes say you take it in the butt!
Chef, what did you do when white people stole your culture?
CChef
Oh, well, we black people just always tried to stay out in front of them.
How did you do that?
CChef
Well, like with our slang. Black people always used to say, "I'm in the house" instead of "I'm here." But then white people all started to say "in the house" so we switched it to "in the hizzouse." Hizzouse became hizzizzouse, and then white folk started saying that, and we had to change it to hizzle, then "in the hizzle" which we had to change to "hizzle fo shizzle," and now, because white people say "hizzle fo shizzle," we have to say "flippity floppity floop."
We don't have time for all that, Chef! Oh, if only those Queer Eye For the Straight Guy people understood what they were doing. Wait. That's it! I know exactly what to do! Come on, Mr. Slave! Let's get back to our flippity floppity floop.
CChef
Oh no! Darn it! Don't call it that!
ACAll Crab People
Crab People! Crab People!
CPCrab Person
Taste like crab, talk like people.
ACAll Crab People
Crab People! Crab People!
CSCartman, Stan, Kenny
We're here! We're not queer! But we're close! Get used to it!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's South Park pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.