The Cat quotes from Red Dwarf

Cat

Hey, this has been a really good day. I've eaten five times, I've slept six times, and I've made a lot of things mine. Tomorrow, I'm gonna see if I can't have sex with something.

Cat

[sings] S-E-X, you know I want it! S-E-X, I'm gonna get it! Yeah! [Cat finds Lister unconscious on the floor.] S-E-X, I think I found it!

Cat

[through a megaphone while on roller skates] Hello, hello, testing, testing, one one one, me me me! Attention all lady cats! I am feeling very very sexy! Can you hear me, lady cats? My body is available!

Cat

You'd never get a cat to be a servant. You ever see a cat return a stick? "Hey, man! You threw the stick, you go get it yourself! I'm busy! If you wanted the stick so bad, why'd you throw it away in the first place?"

Cat

Wow! I've never been this close to women before. It makes me want to do something. But I don't know what it is. Whatever it is, I want to do a lot of it.

Cat

We ain't gonna find 'em. They're gone, buddy. But look on the bright side -- they're gone, buddy!

Cat

What the hell happened to my teeth? I could open beer bottles with my overbite!

Cat

No, no! I don't want to be Duane Dibbley!

The Cat

We could all put our heads together and the bullet could go down the line!

Cat

You're going to go with one of my plans? Are you nuts? What happens if we all get killed? I'll never hear the last of it.

Cat

Look what it did to me! It's turned me into Duane Dibbley -- the Duke of Dork.

Cat

You know, there's an old cat saying. But you don't wanna hear it right now.

Cat

How come you need more memory? Over the years you've had more RAM than a field of sheep!

Cat

"Cat do this!" "Cat do that!" What am I? A dog?

Cat

I’m not here to help. Read my CV. "Does not help. Does not clean. Will have sex with anything."