Ace Rimmer quotes from Red Dwarf

Ace

Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.

Ace

Princess Bonjella? Ace Rimmer. There'll be time for explanations later and, hopefully, some sex.

Stoke me a clipper, I'll be back for Christmas.

Skipper?

Ace

Thought he deserved a nickname, Skipper sounded good.

Ace and Skipper? You sound like a kids TV series about a boy and his bush kangaroo.

What are you doing at lunchtime?

Ace

Not sure, why?

If you're interested, I'll be in my quarters, covered in maple syrup.

Ace

I'm sorry, Mellie, I don't fraternise with the staff.

I resign.

Ace

I'll be there at 13:00.

(breaks the fourth wall) What a guy!

Ace

Skipper, I've decided I'm not going to stay.

Lister

Why?

Ace

Him and me. It would never work. I just can't stand to be near the man. To see myself so warped, so bitter, so weasely. The man's a maggot.

Lister

So where're you going to go?

Ace

Just out there. I can't go back. But there's a billion other realities to explore. A billion other Arnold Rimmers to meet. Maybe somewhere there's one who's more of a pain in the butt than him. But I doubt it.

Lister

Well, good luck, man. And, look, don't be too hard on Rimmer. You got the break, he didn't. He's just bitter.

Ace

D'you know what that break was? At the age of seven, one of us was kept back a year, the other one wasn't. (Gestures to knot on his arm stitches) Put your finger on that, would you, Skipper? (Tugs sharply on thread and breaks it)

Lister

And that's the only difference? Rimmer went down a year, and you stayed up?

Lister

While he spent the rest of his life making excuses.

Ace

Maybe he's right. Maybe I did get the lucky break.

Ace

You can't judge a book by its cover.

Lister

And you can't confuse Rimmer with a book. For a start, a book's got a spine.