Mystery Science Theater 3000 Season 13 quotes

[after Nick startles her] I'm starting to see why you're single.

Pretty cool, huh?

[surprised] ... Wow.

Servo

Yeah, a real, live woman.

Pretty niiice!

Gamera? I could really go for some turtle meat.

Servo

I guess we're watching Gamera's acting reel now?

Has Gamera been in other movies?

Oh yeah, Gamera's been in a lot of movies. Gamera vs. Guiron, Gamera vs. Gyaos, Gamera vs. Barugon, Gamera vs. The Bridges of Madison County, and Gamera vs. Kramer vs. Kramer.

Wow, I didn't realize that Gamera was such a versatile performer.

Oh, totally.

Servo

Yeah, he's like the Meryl Streep of giant turtle actors. He's not afraid to do intimate character work.

Yeah, that's what I like about him.

[about a miniature submarine] Will it really dive, or is this model a toy?

No, it's a real miniature submarine. But the trouble is, it's too real, and goes too far down.

Like my serotonin.

Gamera is like the original fidget spinner.

Jiger's all like, "Why don't we put a pin in this?"

Jiger uses dash! It's super effective!

Servo

Second opinion from Dr. Jim Bean.

They'll unload it.

[in a heavy hard to understand accent] These men should teach you a lesson. They're not afraid if some old curse gets them.

If anyone needs subtitles in this movie, it's her.

Servo

Let's call this monster Axl Rose, because he's got an appetite for destruction.

[singing] Gamera flies like a plane! He likes pleasure mixed with pain! Never kink shame Gamera!

[singing] It's not just my arm that is bleeding / It's part of my neck meat as well / But it's mainly my ego that's bleeding / Why must I come out of my shell?

[singing] Sure, everyone knows me as Gamera / The turtle the kids all adore / But if I get stabbed by a Jiger / Will they even like me anymore?

[singing] For the love of the children is fickle / You have it, then it disappears / They'll love you, and leave you tomorrow / As soon as the city smoke disappears.

[singing] You'd say Gamera, sure he's got everything / The power, flight, looks, and fame / Then into town swims Kaiju come lately / They don't even remember my name.

[singing] Gamera's the friend of all children / Of that, the whole world can agree / Oh Gamera's friends with the children / But who gives their friendship to me?

[singing] Sure, I've been singing a long time / I'm a ham with a long way to go / Because after all, I'm a turtle / And turtles do everything slow.

[singing] And turtles do everything slooow...

This is the most stressful game of Operation ever played.

[singing] Come with me, and you'll see, a world of turtle respiration! Steal your dad's submarine, and attempt resuscitation.

Tommy, I think this is it over here. Dr. Matsui, there's a small hole in his side.

A hole? Be very careful.

Servo

Watch out for snakes.

[singing] Gamera take the body home! Gonna eat the flesh from bone! Keto diet Gamera!

Oh weird, they're being trailed by cans and a banner that says "Just married".

[singing] Gamera's a movie that has no end in sight! No going home! This is now your life!

Wow, Gotham got hit hard by the recession.

Spaghetti westerns only wish they were Sultry Jazz Westerns.