[as reporters crowd Batwoman]
Batwoman, when will you release your tax returns?
Batwoman, what's your position on pants?
CCrow
Is it true the Snyder Cut of Batwoman has 25% more spearfishing?
S13The Batwoman
EWDr. Eric Williams
You're about to witness the discovery of the century!
SAServo [as Williams]
Stock footage!
From the depths of the ocean, over 400 million years ago, surfaced the beginnings of the human race!
Is this a Scientology pitch?
And it all began with the first vertebrate, the fish! Starting from that point, we will make the regress into the dawn of evolution.
CCrow
Oh, edibles are hitting.
And we will create a new being with the likeness of our ancestors: a human amphibious hybrid! [laughs maniacally]
Oh, now I hate when comedians laugh at their own jokes.
CCrow
Well, Danny Elfman lost his job to an alarm clock.
HHenchman
[bringing Batwoman to Dr. Williams] Boss, look who we found! Get in here!
[Batwoman begins to fight the henchmen]
CCrow
Pow!
Biff!
[Dr. Williams grabs a scalpel and moves for Batwoman]
Grab!
CCrow
Lunge!
[Batwoman grabs a beaker of acid and throws it in Dr. Williams' face]
Acid!
Batwoman, the movie that dares to say, "We rented an underwater camera, and we're going to get every last peso out of it!"
[during a car chase scene involving henchmen and Batwoman]
[singing to the chase music] Baaatwoman swerves. Baaatwoman drives. With Baaatwoman nerve, Baaatwoman jives!
See, this is why you've got to have a dashcam.
[Batwoman honks her horn at the henchmen]
CCrow
Ah, yeah. Honk your horn. That'll show 'em.
[as Batwoman swims through a school of fish]
I'm pretty sure she was in the Aquabats.
Well, she's in Phish now.
CCrow
Clearly.
[Batwoman is chased into an underwater patch of kelp]
Kelp! I need somebody...
Please no. Please no.
I get by with a little kelp from my friends...
CCrow
No no no, you really shouldn't.
Sorry. I can't kelp myself.
CECrow and Emily
Uuugh!
It'll be interesting to see if a woman can survive this kind of surgery and restore her pineal fluids without dying. Up to date, no man has been able to, but maybe the female gender is actually the most adequate to carry out this experiment for biological reasons.
MMario
You're insane, doctor!
You may be right, but as a matter of fact, there's an invisible line separating insanity and genius!
The Kanye line.
S13H.G. Wells' The Shape of Things to Come
[a robot presses a big red "cancel" button]
Meanwhile, at Netflix...
[shot of a computer screen giving various readings]
SAServo [as an officer]
It's called Twitter. It's gonna be great for the discourse.
[Dr. John Caball dons a silver radiation suit]
Chernobyl for a prom theme. What were they thinking?
CACrow [as Dr. Caball]
Alright, you're gonna wanna cook me at 350 degrees for about 70 minutes, you'll know when I'm done when a fork easily pierces my skin. Load me up with butter and don't skimp on the chives. I'm a potato.
[as Dr. Caball gazes out into space]
CDr. Caball
Well, we're on our way. Out there is the vastness of space... the unknown...
CCrow
It's only a model.
KSKim Smedley
Funny, I still think of myself as an Earth child.
Emily, do you still think of yourself as an Earth child?
Oh, I don't know. Ask me after I've been here for seven years.
CCrow
Uh, no human has ever lived here that long. Just ask the other guys.
Wait, what?
SSparks
[to Jason Caball] Let me lead the way.
Aw, that's sweet. Would you guys ever escort me into a dangerous unknown situation?
Uh, I'd walk with you so I could better criticize your choices.
CCrow
I'd let you walk in front of me so you could shield me from the worst of the shrapnel.
And I'd definitely film the whole thing for WorldStarHipHop.
CSCrow and Servo
WorldStar!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.