Mystery Science Theater 3000 quotes

There's plenty of time for breakfast, too. Breakfast is an important meal that shouldn't be missed. If you usually go to bed early enough, you usually wake up early, too. You can start the day in a pleasant, unhurried way. It's more fun for you that way and more fun for the rest of the family, too. David and Martha enjoy their mornings.

It's the last daylight they'll see before descending into the mines.

Joel

[David and Martha leave the table] "Well, gotta run, mom and dad, but this has been pleasant and unhurried."

Seriously though! This film started with a baby!

Guys, I'm really worried. What happened to the baby?!

It's another one for Emily, and it's called "The Wonder of Reproduction," and as the mother of a mad scientist, I can wholeheartedly tell you it's no wonder that I never did that again.

Finally! We get to learn how to forge money.

Anyway, here's, uh, Wonderworld. Today was gonna be the day that we're gonna reproduce with you...

Man, oh man, would you look at this one? She sure is beautiful...

But she doesn't even know I exist!

Well, this she happens to be a he.

Idiot.

You're looking at the male betta splenden, and he is one of the most beautiful fish you'll probably ever see. As you look closely...

Just look at that muddy brown.

... almost every color of the rainbow, sparkling in his sleek body, and flowing fins as he swims...

Bob's biting his knuckle right now.

Strange as it may seem, in the family of betta splendens, it's the father who cares for the babies, and raises a family.

Servo

A real Mr. Mom.

Father? What does the mother fish do?

She drinks.

The father betta will go up to the surface and breathe in a mouthful of air. Then he will swim to the place that he's chosen to build his nest. Now this is usually by a plant, or on the underside of a floating leaf.

Hopefully by a sport's bar.

Then he will blow out the bubbles of air, which is coated with very special saliva from his mouth.

Servo

When he does it, he's a good dad, but when I do it, I'm asked to leave the Arby's.

As I sat in the hole, I couldn't help but wonder. Was this all there was to life under the sea?

Now, the Creator has given most wild creatures a strong instinct to protect their young, and mother mouthbrooder performs this task in such a remarkable way.

Magic!

Even though she has scooped up all of the eggs into her very large mouth, she will not swallow them. She keeps them in her mouth until they hatch into baby fish.

And will remind those children of her sacrifice for years to come.

Have fun!

'Cause the Vietnam War is right around the corner!

Servo

Uncle Bob will return in The Wonders of Snake Digestion!

This twisted tornado-wracked pile of stem was a microwave radio relay tower...

Now, it's garbage.

A link in our nation's complex telephone network. Minutes after the tower was felled by a tornado, service was restored by switching calls to alternate routes of the network, but a temporary tower must be erected, and quickly.

Before it kills again.

Gentlemen, this is going to be a wild game of Mousetrap.

[adjusting a signal] Take it to the left.

Take it back now, y'all.

Left. Left a little more.

My- My left!

Easy... Whoa! He's right on frequency!

I'm gonna take this energy home and satisfy my wife for a change.

Television programs, telephone calls, and data are going through. This one was for practice...

And gosh darn was it fun!

... for crews like this, the big task is keeping the nation's communications flowing.

Wait, this was practice? Jeff died today!

Why the upsurge of interest in the heavens?

Because hell is full.