Joel Robinson quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000

[Michael goes outside to find the source of the howls.]

[The Master stands in Torgo's room as Torgo awakens from sleep and slowly gets up from the bed, which results in about a minute-long period of silence and nothing happening.]

Joel

[snapping] DO SOMETHING!!! God!

[one of the kids walks off after being thrown off his horse]

Joel

[as boy, indignantly] Go ahead; strip me of my dignity at age four! What are you all looking at?!

[one faction of the Atlanteans charge through the canyon as their white head-dresses trail behind them]

Joel

Hey; it's Jim Henson's Birth of a Nation Babies!

[while tag-along kid Space Ranger Bobby is on-screen with Rocky and the others]

Joel

[as Bobby, disgruntled] One day, all of you space losers are going to be working for me, and I mean it!

[At the end of "Gypsy Moons", Joel gets annoyed with Crow starting to sing bawdy lyrics and clamps Crow's mouth down]

Joel

Stop! Stop! We hope you enjoyed this little trip down memory lane. And now here's our own Al "Jazzbeaux" Collins with a message. Never again you guys. That's it.

[The end credits roll, ending with the dedication "For John"]

Joel

John? Heh, this movie belongs in the john.

[Hercules and his fellow sailors confront a field of women in tight shorts, tunics, and silly caps, armed with bows.]

Joel

Attack of the Mary Martins! [N]

[After Hercules kills the lion a group of cavalry appear]

[Kay steps behind Nick while holding a hammer]

Joel

Kay's worked on the kill floor - she knows where to deliver the blow.

[Sinbad delivers another speech, but the editing makes it appear as though it has lasted for more than a day.]

Joel

It's noon and he's still filibustering!

[Over yet another disgusting close-up of Arch Hall Jr.]

Joel

I figured it out, he looks like the bat from FernGully.

[At a pool party, Eegah once again carries off Roxy.]

Joel

Man, she gets picked up so much, she should have a handle!