Joel Robinson quotes from Mystery Science Theater 3000

[Towards the end of the short, which has mostly consisted just of shots of people farming...]

Joel

Wait a minute, has anybody seen a truck yet?

I Accuse My Parents (movie)

[Neil Connery prepares to hypnotize his patient, Miss Yashuko. He tents his fingers in concentration.]

Joel

All right, here's the church, here's the steeple, open the door and go to sleeple.

[Over the credit for screenwriter True Boardman]

Joel

Yeah, I'm afraid we're gonna be true bored men after this...

[After a long montage depicting Tommy, Jonathan, Taylor, and Shep working together on Jonathan's mining site, the scene fades to a shot of Taylor looking out the window of the cabin.]

[Mitchell tries to scale the fence outside Deaney's estate.]

[Jimmy is found not guilty of murdering crime boss Blake after explaining the whole story in court, but instead sentenced to probation under his family's care for his complecancy in Blake's string of robberies]

Joel

[as Jimmy] Thank God I'm white!

[as Marina, Tempest, and Phones dive through an underwater cave]

Joel

They stay down pretty good for being made out of wood.

[Towards the end of the movie, the titular dinosaurs finally appear and go on a confusing sort-of-a-rampage.]

Joel

It made more sense before there were any dinosaurs. I'm starting to miss that part of the movie.

[An opening card states "This is an Iowa State College Production."]

Joel

Iowa State College: The high school after high school!

[One of the four young women plays with little kids, in preparation for motherhood]

[Upon seeing the mispelling in the film's title]

Joel

Attack of the the Eye Creatures? What, did Mel Tillis write these titles?

[While trying to take a picture of a severed Eye Creature arm, the flashbulb causes it to evaporate]

Joel

Now why doesn't that work with relatives?